


Turquoise Is The New Black

by Swlfangirl



Series: Happy Birth Month Cheesy Tropes Challenge! [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fainting, Fluff, Fuckin' Fluffy Mondays, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Happy Ending, Hints to other mythologies (but nothing major), I promise nothing bad happens though, M/M, Soulmates, Sweet, Tropes, Warnings for Chapters that might need them, casturbation, feel free to let me know if Ive missed anything, i'm not sure what else, if you want more details you can message me, its really fluff I Swear, similar to a panick attack, temporarly unconcious Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:44:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 78,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swlfangirl/pseuds/Swlfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this world, there were babies born with a multitude of eye colors, not just your standard blue, grey, brown, and green. There were pinks and purples, fuschias and sapphires, bright oranges, and softened teals. A person’s eyes could be any color you could imagine, and there were even more variations once they were bonded, or found their soulmate…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**_In this world, there were babies born with a multitude of eye colors, not just your standard blue, grey, brown, and green. There were pinks and purples, fuschias and sapphires, bright oranges, and softened teals. A person’s eyes could be any color you could imagine, and there were even more variations once they were bonded, or found their soulmate…_ **

**_You see, having a certain shade at birth really didn’t mean much, except perhaps in certain circles, it meant you would make a good match some day. But other than that, there wasn’t anything inherently special about it yet, not until you met your soulmate. Once that special person walked into your life, the two naturally given colors combined into a new shared shade. The brighter the hue, the stronger and more powerful the bond was. Only the strongest bonds caused an instant color shift, but those were rare. For most people, it wasn’t an immediate thing and the change could happen at any time from the first meeting, to the first kiss. There had even been couples that managed to be together physically before their colors morphed, but that was the least desirable type of bond._**

 

 

* * *

 

Dean Winchester absolutely, positively hated blind dates. Hell, half the time he didn’t know if people were asking him out because they thought he was nice, hot, or just because his eyes were a freaky shade of green. He honestly would have ripped the damn things out if he didn’t need them so badly. With most people pairing off between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five, he was being hounded by everyone he knew to go out with this person or that person, because their eyes would make the most beautiful color, blah blah... Excuse him for wanting to find someone with an actual personality, or hell at least someone with a nice ass. It wasn’t just their fucking eyes that mattered.

To be honest, Dean had kind of been hoping for someone with a darker eye color, just because it seemed like almost everyone else wasn’t expecting it. His mom had told him that she’d be fine with anyone he found, but she really did hope for a strong bond that would let him feel the love and passion that she’d shared with his father. She said she wanted the same for Sammy. His little brother’s eyes were an average brown, perhaps a little deeper than most but Sam had a mountain of other qualities that could make someone happy, so Dean wasn’t worried about him.

He loved his parents, he really did, but he was grateful that they were moving. If he stayed in Lawrence much longer, it would just be one blind date after another until he turned twenty five, or they decided to give up, and he wasn’t interested in that kind of life for the next three years. So when Sam got accepted into Stanford, Dean decided he’d move with him. Between the two of them, they could find a place off campus to share and it wouldn’t be as financially or emotionally difficult for his little brother to begin his new life.

He’d already lined up a job at a garage with one of his Uncle Bobby’s friends and Sam was really good at scouting apartments online. They’d found a few that they were interested in, but Dean demanded they physically see them before putting down a deposit anywhere, and Sammy understood. They loaded up the Impala a few weeks early and pointed it toward California.

 

* * *

 

Castiel James was not what anyone would have called a “good match”. His eyes were a rippling, dark blue and the dimmer colors had always been seen as less desirable. He didn’t necessarily see anything wrong with his eyes, but when the other children had tried to convince him that he’d never find someone who’d want to mix with eyes as dark as his, it had been hard to ignore. His parents did their best to comfort him. But it was difficult, sometimes, not to let it bother him or let it eat away at his confidence and self-esteem.

Thankfully, he’d survived High School and moved onto College, and he’d been more than a little grateful for his scholarship to Stanford. He was starting his second year in less than a week, but he was trying to find off campus housing. The dorm was stuffy and he was boxed in with some weird guy that constantly smelled of marijuana and sex. It was hardly a conducive environment for study.

He’d searched the want ads and found a few roommate notices around campus, but was weird calling up strangers and asking to move in with them. It seemed like too much of a risk that he’d wind up living with people who’d annoy the hell out of him or cut his body into pieces and bury it in the wall of his already paid for room. Okay, so maybe that last option was a little bit over dramatic, but these days it was a legitimate concern.

He was standing in front of the large corkboard in the student center, when a floppy-haired giant walked up to pin something on it. When Castiel noticed it was another roommate advertisement, he took a closer look at the man. The guy seemed normal enough, certainly not the kind to give off the serial killer vibe.

“I, um.. you’re looking for a roommate?” Castiel said mildly.

“Yeah, my brother and I both are. We have a three bedroom, and it’s really nice but a little too expensive for us to keep by ourselves for too long. He said he’d grab a second job, but I don’t really want him to if we can find someone we can agree on. Are you.. looking for a space?”

“Yes.. yeah uh .. I’m in the dorm right now and it’s … not ideal. I was hoping to move out as quickly as possible..” Castiel fidgeted and bit his lip, trying to fight the anxiety inside him. Sometimes others didn’t take too kindly to dark-eyed people, but the guy hadn’t said anything derogatory or given him any disgusted looks, so it couldn’t hurt to be a little optimistic.

“I’m Sam. Do you have a minute now? I can buy you a cup of coffee, maybe see if we can get along?”

“That would be great.. thank you, Sam. I am Castiel, but you can call me Cas.”

They spent the next twenty minutes discussing their lives, classes etcetera. Things were going great, or so he thought.. until Sam gave him a worried look.

“Okay, so I want to say something... and I don’t want you to be offended... so just hear me out, okay?”

Dread rose in his chest as he assumed something bad was coming, because otherwise Sam would have just said it.

“Alright, I’ll try.”

“Okay, so... my brother, Dean.. he’s well... he’s got like REALLY bright eyes. Like, I can’t even explain how bright they are. But he’s not like.. he doesn’t have problems with people of any eye color. It’s just that most people are taken aback by how bright they are… and I don’t want you to be surprised. Also, I wanna say that he’s probably more prejudiced against people with bright eyes than he is with dark. Mostly because every single person he knows has been trying to hook him up with the brightest eyed people they can find. He went out with this girl whose eyes were a bright golden brown. He really liked her, but when she figured out they weren’t soulmates, ironically enough, she showed her true colors and it had all just been an act. I don’t like airing his dirty laundry for him .. but I felt it was something you should know before you met him..”

“I uh, wow .. I never really thought about it like that. I mean, most of my life I was teased for being this way, but I never thought that people with bright eyes suffered with it too. I appreciate your honesty, Sam, and I don’t plan on treating your brother any differently than I have you. Hopefully, we will all be able to co-exist at least and perhaps even be friends.”

“Yeah, Cas, that’s awesome. The reason I told you all that was because I was kinda hoping you’d take our extra room. I still have to introduce you to Dean, but I feel like I can trust you and I think he’ll be more than happy with my choice.”

“That sounds acceptable. Here’s my number. I’m available all evening tonight and any time after three o’clock tomorrow. Just text me as soon as Dean gets some free time, okay?”

“Yes! I will, Cas. I’ll see you later.”

Sam walked away, feeling more than a little proud of himself and his choice for a new roommate. There was something special about Castiel, he could feel it.

 

* * *

 

Castiel journeyed back toward his smokey dorm room, only to step back out as soon as he opened the door. There had to be somewhere, ANYWHERE, else to spend his time. He hoped Sam would text him soon. He was practically getting a second hand high just from sleeping in the bed assigned to him. He’d kindly asked the guy to stop, but he’d been ignored and short of reporting him there was little else he could do.

Castiel took a seat in the closest twenty-four hour coffee shop he could find and opened his laptop. A few hours later, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Hey Cas, this is Sam... I just wanted to see if you were busy. Dean and I are getting ready to grab a bite to eat and I thought maybe you could join us?-unknown

He sent a response as quickly as he could asking where and when because he was dying to get out of the dorms, with a polite smiley on the end. As soon as it was sent, he saved the contact info so he wasn’t confusing other unknown numbers. He’d accidentally sent a text message to the wrong person that way once, and describing the situation as awkward would be an understatement. He didn’t want the mistake to happen again, and certainly not with Sam.

The Roadhouse in about twenty minutes okay?-Sam

He replied yes and gathered his things before grabbing a taxi to get him there on time. He rode quietly and when his anticipation was at it’s limit the small car finally stopped and he pulled out a handful of bills and paid the driver. He walked through the door and looked around before taking a seat in one of the back booths.

 

* * *

 

 

“I swear, Dean, this is not some sort of blind date. Cas is a really cool guy and, hand to God, the dude’s eyes are some of the darkest I’ve ever seen… Scouts honor!” Sam held his fingers up, jokingly.

“Dude, you were never a boy scout. Quit that shit, it’s weird.. and if you think the dude is good enough why not just tell him to move in?”

“Because my opinion isn’t the only one that matters, Dean, and I wanted to make sure you’d both be comfortable with things. He’s outright said he’s been teased for his eye color so… I wanted to make sure he was okay with everything before he moved all his things in and we find out that it isn’t going to work,” Sam said as he climbed out of the Impala and pushed through the door. He spotted Castiel in the back and led the way over with a fond smile already in place.

As soon as the two locked eyes, Dean’s knees went weak and Sam had to hold him steady as they moved forward into the booth to keep him from falling.

Castiel’s own body grew weak as soon as he saw the man walking with Sam. His eyes shut the moment they focused onto Dean’s bright green irises, because his mind was suddenly swirling. Something inside him was changing, and he had no idea what was happening. All he knew was that it was electrifying and he never wanted it to stop.

Sam had never seen a soul-mate matching before, but he’d heard stories from his mom. That had to be what this was. Dean wasn’t in the habit of passing out randomly, and he assumed Castiel wasn’t either.. It was nearly five minutes later when they both opened their eyes and the new shade was unlike anything Sam had ever seen before.

Two sets of bright, turquoise eyes staring back at him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a little disconcerting to randomly pass out in public, not to mention the distinct feel of lightning splitting inside his veins. Cas opened his eyes to find that the shade he remembered being much more...green had morphed into a striking turquoise. His stomach tied in knots as he tried to speak, his lips moved but the words would not come out. The other man stared back at him with a smile as Cas tried to apologize over and over again.

How could he have let that happen? Even though he’d only had a second to process the previous color he knew it was one of the brightest he’d ever seen. Dean was surely upset to have such a gorgeous hue tainted and matched with his dark blue. His palms were sweaty and he did his best to not just turn away and run. He felt it was his obligation to somehow make up for what had taken place between them. Deep down he knew it wasn’t really his fault but that didn’t change the fact that he still accepted responsiblity for the strange occurrence.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean...I didn’t know...I’m so sorry,” Castiel repeated.

The words were coming out of his mouth over and over again and Dean was more than a little worried. He’d tried to tell the guy it was fine, but it was like he couldn’t hear him. With a quick look of concern passed to his brother he was reassured that it wasn’t something already present before their little exchange.

Dean looked into the new shade of Castiel’s eyes and he smiled brightly. It was a nice color and he was pretty sure it would look almost as awesome on him as it did the dark haired man with the gorgeous smile. Not that he’d seen that smile since they’d came to or whatever because the guy was obviously freaking out, but he’d caught a quick glimpse of it before everything happened. It wasn’t as big or nearly as bright as his own, but the smile itself was perfect. It was small and honest and very relaxed which put him at ease despite his soulmate’s current state of mind.

Dean thought the apologetic mumbling had gone on long enough. He moved, unsure of what would happen, but decided it was really too late to do anything about it; they were already bonded. He stood, walked around the booth, and pulled Castiel toward him. The apologies stopped, but Dean didn’t. He pressed their lips together softly causing a ripple of energy to course between them. It was a fairly chaste kiss but there was an underlying heat beneath it that nearly caused them both to pass out again.

“Holy shit, it’s like kissing a firecracker!” Dean said with the biggest grin his face would hold.

Sam just stared at his brother with a goofy smile on his face, he’d never been more excited for Dean. He just seemed so damn happy. His eagerness faltered just a little when he noticed that even after the kiss Castiel still seemed to be somewhat catatonic.

“Hey boys, what can I get ya?” Neither of the Winchester brothers had noticed Ellen moving closer until she was already there. Once their surrogate aunt looked up from the small pad in her hand, her mouth dropped in shock.

“Oh, Dean!” She said excitedly, but it didn’t take her long to register that something was off. She walked calmly back to the bar and grabbed a pitcher of ice water and a towel and sauntered back toward them where she promptly dumped it over Castiel’s head. She handed him the towel as if she hadn’t probably ensured he would get pneumonia, and gave him a quick smile.

“There ya go, sug. Now, I’m Dean’s Aunt Ellen. Why don’t you tell me all about yourself?”

“I...I’m Castiel...I’m sorry...I,”

“All right, If I hear one more ‘I’m sorry,’ I might just deck you and knock you back out. Look, man, nobody is upset. I don’t know why you’re apologizing,” Dean said with a hefty pat on the back.

“You...aren’t angry?” Castiel stammered, unsure of how true it could possibly be.

“Nah, man. Why would I be mad? I mean, even if I were the type of person to be all butt hurt because I didn’t match with magical fairy eyes or something, it wouldn’t make it your fault. You were just as affected as I was. Are you...I mean you’re not mad right?” A small shiver of panic ran through Dean’s spine as that thought escaped his mouth.

“NO! No I would have to be insane...which I assure you I’m not, despite how it may seem,” he tried to persuade himself that he believed he wasn't crazy as well.

“I guess we should probably get to know one another. Never thought I’d be part of one of the instant ones. It’s kinda awkward but really cool too…”

“Maybe I should find another apartment. I mean for the time being. I don’t want to make things worse,” Cas said ruffling a hand through his dark locks, causing it to look even more adorable in Dean’s opinion.

‘If that’s what you want, you’re obviously welcome to do that, but we’ve still got the room open. It’s not like you’d be expected to uh, you know, stay with me or anything. You can still do whatever you were gonna do.” Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever been more embarrassed. Certainly not in front of the whole damn restaurant, which was currently staring at them.

Castiel seemed to notice all the eyes on them as well and he tried to calm himself down before speaking. “Perhaps we could talk about this somewhere else?” he said with a small smile. Dean took the opening gladly, pulling them out of the booth. An electric pulse thrummed under their fingertips when their hands were slotted together, causing a shiver of anticipation to course through them both.

 

* * *

 

They stepped outside and the air seemed to flow more easily into their lungs. The connection was still jolting, but was more calming than it had been before. They walked just a few steps and stopped next to a sleek classic car, pitch black everywhere except the chrome and glass. Castiel’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Dean’s hand untangled from Cas’s to open the passenger before he made his way to the other side.

“This is yours?”

Dean’s smile seemed to light up even further as he claimed the gorgeous Impala. His hand brushing against the cold metal with a kind familiarity; as if he were stroking a pet, or perhaps the way he would lead a dance partner. Castiel didn’t know why, but in the short time they were separated he felt the longing to know even more incredibly overwhelming.

“Yup, this my baby. The one thing in this world that can compete with my love for Sammy,” Dean chuckled and, thankfully, let his words taper off before he said something even more embarrassing - such as how maybe that might not be the case anymore.

Dean drove for a while, scouting the route to the park he remembered passing just outside of Palo Alto. There was silence between them and he decided not to encourage conversation at that moment. It seemed obvious that the handsome man beside him was still in shock and needed time to process things. He pulled into a drive thru and ordered a couple burgers. They weren’t as good as Ellen’s, but they also didn’t come with a bar full of nosy people and family members watching you.

He pulled into the parking lot next to the entrance and stepped out. He quickly walked around to the passenger side door, but before he could get there to open it, he found it had already been done. He tried not to let that discourage him. Dean considered himself a romantic at heart but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t understand a man wanting to open his own damn door.

“Oh were you... I’m sorry.” Castiel looked down and flushed red.

“Dude again, enough with the apologies. It’s fine, I promise. Are you ready?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Castiel nodded and followed him to a small wooden bench. Dean opened the food bags and handed him a burger and fries to go with the drink he’d already picked up. They took the first couple of bites without saying anything.

Dean sighed and finally took it upon himself to start the conversation.

“Look Cas, it’s Cas right?” Castiel nodded and looked at him with a somewhat sad, but mostly curious expression.

“I’m not sure what you were expecting from me, but I’m not angry. I’m not upset. I’m not disappointed. I don’t know you well enough to be any of those things and something tells me that won’t change once I do. I’m not saying things are going to be magically easy and we’re just gonna live happily ever after, but maybe in time we will get to know one another and things might even be great. But mostly, I want the first thing you understand here is that I don’t think this is a bad thing.”

“You don't? Dean, I saw your eyes, however briefly. They were - God they were gorgeous. I mean, the color, it’s still nice, but it’s not nearly as bright as it was before.” He chewed his lip nervously, still terrified even after the reassuring words.

‘Cas you wanna know a secret? I was really hoping for someone with dark eyes. I honestly was, but that’s not the most important thing here. People tend to get so wrapped up in the whole ‘this shade, that color,’ of it all, but the main point is the person. It doesn’t matter how bright or how dark your eyes were. One small, insignificant detail can’t make a relationship.” Dean tried to convey as much sincerity as he could, the nerves of what had happened finally catching up to him. Or maybe it was the loss of contact with his soul mate. He wasn’t sure.

Castiel’s eyes went wide with the new information. He’d been told that eye color was the only thing that mattered, romantically. People had spewed hatred and disgust at his darkened hue. He’d spent most of his life thinking anyone who was unfortunate enough to be mated with him would surely be just as angry and appalled. Now this gorgeous man, who’d had the most beautiful green eyes he’d ever seen, was actually saying it didn’t matter to him. He nearly burst into tears as he thought about how he’d wasted so much of his life dreading that moment.

“I, uh, I don’t really know what to say. All my life, I’ve been told that no one would want me. It got to the point where I truly believed it,” he said as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Dean instinctively pulled Cas against his chest and held him close, carding his fingers through the messy black spikes as he whispered that it was okay. He held on tighter as the smaller man shook against him, his quiet cries turned quickly into aching sobs. Castiel was trying to stop, he honestly was, but the feel of Dean’s chest against his face only spurred the cries further. He felt safe and warm in the arms of his soul mate, which only served to encourage his out of control emotions.

“Listen, Cas, I know this is a lot to take in in such a short time, but I really hope you take our spare room. There’s no strings attached. I’m not expecting anything from you, but I would like to have you close; take the time to get to know you. I kinda hate to ask this, but were you... I mean, are you seeing anyone?”

Castiel looked up at him, eyes wide and so full of something - hope maybe. “No, I’m... No, I wasn’t dating anyone. I’m not very experienced with that sort of thing. I...I haven’t...nobody wanted…” He was shaking he was so scared, afraid that the new information was surely what would cause Dean to change his mind on this whole thing.

“Shhh, shhh it’s okay. You’re like a scared kitten. It’s okay to calm down a bit, if you can. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to. We’re gonna be fine, it’s just gonna take a little time.” Dean did his best to ease Cas’s fears. It seemed the guy had plenty, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t understand. Hell, it was more than enough of a shock for him as well. He was just so happy he’d finally found the person he was supposed to be with, and he might have lit up at the fact that their eyes were still pretty bright in comparison to most. There was a good chance they’d have a bond as strong, if not stronger, than his parents.

“I’m sorry Dean. This, I swear I’m not normally like this,” Castiel said, finally letting a small chuckle fall off his lips. He’d been through a roller coaster of emotions in a very short amount of time, but he figured that’s what it was like when something this huge happened in your life.

“Well maybe you can show me who you really are. What do you want to do about the apartment, Cas?” Dean tried not to look too hopeful, or to pressure him too much, but the idea of not being close to Castiel was a little hard to handle. He wanted so badly to get a head start on their lives, and if they lived in the same place, it would probably be easier to spend time together.

“I think I’d like to take it. The sooner the better. I’m likely to fail a drug test at the moment from being within the same block as my dorm-mate,” he chuckled.

“Let’s go get your stuff right now. Sam’s probably foaming at the mouth to hear the details. I’ll send him a text to let him know you’re moving in, if you’re sure?” Dean asked one more time, just to be safe. They’d been through a lot. It probably wasn’t the best time to make life altering decisions, but he wasn’t going to say that aloud.

“Yes, I’m sure. Let’s pick up my things, and then we can go home,” Castiel gave the smile Dean saw before the shift and instantly he found his own face returning the gesture bigger and wider but just as sincere.

“Yeah, let’s get you home.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now beta'd by @Tamnation the most awesomest person ever... in Austrailia <3

It was a fairly quick move. Castiel didn’t own much and what he did could easily be carried out of his dorm in a few trips. Of course, had he known that he would be forced to watch Dean’s biceps bulge as he lifted the heavy boxes of books, he might have preferred to do it all himself. He nearly fainted when he made his way out to the trunk of the gorgeous Impala with his last box and saw the stretched denim over what had to be the most magnificent ass ever made, bent over moving something around in the newly packed space.

Castiel bit his lip and held in a groan as Dean’s back realigned, yeah he was so screwed. The backside was tempting enough, but when the gorgeous man was facing him, he was even more appealing. Castiel stood there probably far too long, just staring. It had actually taken a small clearing of his soulmate’s throat to bring him back to reality. His face was warm, he blushed at having been caught letting his eyes scrape over the man in front of him.

"Sorry.." he trailed off. Dean just responded with a wink and a smile which only furthered the heat on his cheeks. It took him a minute but he regained his composure and finally arranged the last box before he climbed back into the passenger seat.

 

* * *

 

Dean’s face was sore; he’d smiled so damn much it had strained the muscles in his cheeks. He ached to say something, to get to know the man beside him one fact at a time if that’s what it took, but he was almost as nervous as Castiel seemed. He’d thought about turning the radio on, but figured that would just further the silence between them. It wasn’t uncomfortable really… just desperately unnecessary.

“Dean would you...I mean if it’s not too much trouble would you mind taking me somewhere after we drop my stuff off at the apartment? I’d like to look at the space and then I’m sure I’ll need to get new bedding and furniture and things like that,” he asked, nervously biting his lip.

“Of course man, whatever you need. I’m yours for the night.” Dean didn’t even really think about what he’d said until Cas turned his head to hide a blush. Which was freaking adorable, and only brightened his already ecstatic mood.

When they pulled into the complex, Dean grinned because Cas had learned or accepted the fact that he enjoyed opening his door for him, and he sat politely while Dean shuffled around to his side. They both grabbed a couple boxes and moved toward their thankfully bottom floor apartment, which meant not having to carry hefty books up any number of stairs.

When they walked in he heard a loud gasp. He turned to see a smile on Cas’ face and he felt like every moment since they’d met had only gotten better.. making it the happiest he’d ever been. Dean watched as the new Turquoise irises lit up when a small glint of joy flipped inside them. He wondered for a minute how they looked on him, other than the rearview mirror in the Impala he hadn’t gotten a proper look, well one that wasn’t disrupted with driver’s safety.

“Wow...I...wow,” Cas stuttered as he took in the expansive, wooden bookcase.

“You like it? I made it myself… Gave it to Sammy for a graduation present. That kid is a major geek, I knew he’d love it,” Dean said easily. He always found it less awkward to make conversation when he could brag about his baby brother.

“You made this? It’s beautiful…” Dean watched as Castiel’s slender fingertips grazed over the letters he’d etched into the cherry frame. There was a flutter in his chest at the compliment provided not only by the words from Castiel’s mouth, but the look of awe in his eyes as he took in every small detail.

“Come on, lemme show you to your room.” Dean smiled, he could have stood there all night and watched Cas, but the heat of a blush was coming and he knew if the gorgeous guy had offered another compliment he wouldn’t have been able to stop it.

Castiel nodded and the other man followed behind as they walked through the fairly expansive apartment. When they’d first moved here, he’d been expecting that his pay from Bobby’s friend would barely cover a tiny apartment big enough for him and Sammy. As it turned out Rufus Turner owned and managed a Chevy Dealer garage which had meant a massive pay upgrade. So he’d wanted to get a good sized space, making sure Sammy had plenty of room to study, and spread out. He knew from years of experience that his gigantic brother took up their entire living room when it came time for tests.

He led the way to the room that shared a wall with his and swallowed hard. There had been a reason him and Sam had chosen sleeping quarters on opposite ends of the apartment. Now that he knew that Cas was only one wall away it caused a nervous lump to rise in his throat and an excited jolt to course through him at the same time.

“Here ya are. There’s already a couple nightstands in the closet if... if you want them I mean. Sammy was gonna use them, but he got a bigger bed and desk and didn’t have the room. I’ll call Ellen and ask to borrow her truck while you figure out what you wanna do with the space. I’ve got a measuring tape in the kitchen drawer if you need it.” Dean nervously bit his lip before he turned and walked away, leaving the box he carried just outside the door.

 

* * *

 

It was almost an hour later before Cas had sketched out what he wanted to do. Dean had cutely been pacing back and forth outside his door with a questioning look every few minutes, until he’d finally given in and asked him if he wanted to help. The gorgeous man just smiled brightly and got to work, double and triple checking Cas’ measurements before moving on to the next. Pretty soon all he had to do was get the supplies and pick out his furniture, he was hoping it wouldn’t be too late to get a bed brought in.

Dean told him that Ellen was more than happy to loan out her truck and Sam had offered to come along and help, which made his heart full. Half a day earlier he’d have said he only had a few friends, even then the word friend seemed to be a stretch; all but one were more like acquaintances. Now it felt like he’d at least gained two, maybe even three, people that seemed to care about him in some capacity.

All three men put in quite an effort that night, but barely got the bed set up before it was time for them all to get some sleep. Cas thanked them politely and Sam offered to help him paint and decorate on Saturday and Dean said he’d work on building him a bookshelf (Cas had sketched what he wanted but couldn’t find anything that resembled it in the store) that weekend. In return he’d offered pizza and beer on him every Saturday for a month, and the brothers quickly agreed.

 

* * *

 

Dean tossed and turned most of the night, unable to get thoughts of Cas out of his mind. The excitement didn't waver a bit as the nerves under his skin continued to hum. He'd spent a long time being anxious about the damn eye colors, and now he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. He'd spent nearly thirty minutes looking in the mirror at the new color; more impressed than he'd imagined.

He sank deeper against his pillow making plans of all the things he could do to impress Cas. Dean wanted so badly to give him everything, but knew he needed to take it slow. Castiel was far too skittish to be open to anything big, so he'd do what he could in the small ways. Dean thought he'd start with breakfast, it was simple enough and didn't require much of an effort. He would probably be making something anyway, and his lucky French Toast would be a great place to start.

Morning came a little sooner than he expected because he’d not gotten nearly enough sleep, but he was so excited from the day before he didn’t let it deter him. Dean half jumped out of bed and grabbed a quick shower before dressing himself in loose pajama bottoms and a plain white tee. He hummed along to Black Sabbath quietly while he was working in the kitchen. It didn’t take long before he’d built up a heaping platter of perfectly crisp French Toast sticks and an assortment of toppings to go along with them, even including fruit for Sammy.

Sam stumbled hazily into the kitchen, Dean would wager it was the smell of breakfast that brought him out. He poured a cup of hot coffee for Sam and gave a fond toss of the already messy hair on his brother's head. He took a seat and half heartedly stacked his plate hoping Cas would come out of his room soon. Twenty minutes later the food was lukewarm at best, despite his valiant efforts and their new roommate hadn’t budged.

Just to be on the safe side Dean went to check on him, thinking maybe he’d overslept and didn’t want him missing classes or anything because of the new living arrangements. When he knocked on the door to Cas’ room it pushed open and he noticed a very empty bed. Cas had already left and he’d missed him completely. He tried not to let it sour his mood, but he couldn’t help the twinge of disappointment that followed him throughout the day.

Work was normal, wasn’t great, wasn’t bad but the fact that he was already a little upset seemed to make everything worse. He was polite and did his best to make everyone feel comfortable. Well, the customers that he dealt with at least, everyone else could go fuck themselves as far as he was concerned, but that was how he felt on a regular basis. He thought about texting Cas to see if he wanted to grab lunch, but then quickly realized he hadn’t actually got the guy’s number. Dean guessed he’d see him eventually; it didn’t make the separation any easier.

 

* * *

 

Castiel hated Fridays. The first class started at eight in the morning and he had to leave two hours earlier than that to catch a cab, get his coffee, and make sure all his TA responsibilities were taken care of. He also liked the solitude of working in the library that early, but didn’t want to make an effort for that particular brand of peace any other day, since he didn’t need to get up before noon if he didn’t want to. He was usually up before nine anyway but there was always the option of sleeping in.

He sorted papers and looked them over before stacking them from least to most interesting, and sat them aside for the professor. He also managed to transcribe some of his notes before the alarm on his phone went off telling him it was time to get to class. He rushed through the halls and jogged across campus hoping not to get stuck with a seat in the front or back rows. Luckily when he got there, there were still plenty of open chairs when he stepped inside and he took one near the middle, setting his messenger bag down beside himself.

It was almost time for the lecture to start when when he caught a familiar shade of red in his side view. His head swiveled quickly and a broad smile instantly appeared on his face. Her eyes went wide and she gasped audibly when she saw him, rushing to the seat beside him. He could hear her screaming on the inside all the way across the classroom, and he was pretty certain everyone else could as well.

“TELL ME EVERYTHING!” It probably came out a little louder than planned because she instantly covered her mouth with her hand.

Castiel tried to ignore her curiosity because the lecture was starting and he wanted to make sure his recorder took in every sound from the teacher and not his chattering friend. Professor Rosen was a young teacher, but she also seemed to get really excited about her work sometimes and when she did that her words sped up to an inhuman capacity. Sometimes she talked so fast that he couldn’t understand her, let alone write quickly enough to get it all in his notes.

“You can’t hide from me forever. I’m taking you out after class and you’re gonna spill it, mister!” Charlie whispered as Professor Rosen took the floor.

The lecture seemed endless until the moment someone mentioned this obscure comic book series or something, Castiel wasn’t really paying attention despite his love of education. It was then they learned their professor had a weakness because she excitedly hummed and spoke passionately and quickly about everything on the subject.

Eventually, it was so far from English he’d just turned his recorder off. Charlie didn’t even notice there was a change in topic as her skilled hand continued to sketch a beautiful drawing of a fairy. Castiel certainly wasn’t going to be the one to point it out to her, it would only further her insistence to inquire about his personal life. It wasn’t so much her questions he would mind, but the fact that he didn’t have any answers. Dean was a nice guy from what he’d experienced but it had barely been over twelve hours since he’d met the man. It was hardly enough time to get to know someone, even if they were supposedly your intended soul mate.

After what seemed like an eternity class was over, and he was free until noon. He thought briefly about using the excuse of having lunch with Dean to get away from his nosy friend. He’d even considered actually calling the guy, but he realized he only had Sam’s number and he could possibly be in class. Not wanting to intrude on them, he resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to talk about what very little he did know.

“Now, spill!” Charlie excitedly pulled him through the door as they were leaving the classroom. She was one of the first people who seemed to actively enjoy his company, not counting the few friends he’d had as a child, before the others learned how to be prejudiced.

Finally, he couldn’t help the smile that found his face when he thought of the gorgeous man and how kindly he’d treated him. “Fine, but if you want me to talk I’ll need some food.. I didn’t eat breakfast this morning.”

“Deal, lets hit the cafe. I’m buying,” she said with a dorky smile that seemed to climb even higher on her cheeks.

Castiel ordered another latte, a large frosted cinnamon roll, and an actual breakfast platter. Charlie shook her head in amusement and got her own cup. He offered to pay for his own, but she quickly denied him and rushed them toward the corner booth before she started slapping him on the arm like he was completely unaware of how excited she was. He took a bite of his breakfast and hoped it would settle his nervous stomach before he delved too deeply into the topic of Dean Winchester.

Just as he was about to speak his phone buzzed on the table and he looked at it somewhat confused until he saw the message from Sam. Of course it was Sam, who else would it be? he told himself.

I think Dean missed you at breakfast, but don’t tell him I told you. Also you should have his number, you know just in case. 310-555-3326 -Sam

“Oooh, is that your lover now?” Charlie cooed.

“No, it’s his brother…” he said only half paying attention, and not realizing what he’d inferred by not correcting her until he heard the scream.

“I totally called it! Knew it would be a guy! Sooo... tell me about your dream man. I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone. You’ve been holding out on me, Cas,” she teased poking him in the side a little as she sipped her coffee.

“I wasn’t…” he offered before shoveling food into his mouth, desperate for anything that would sate the anxiousness in his stomach. He was telling Charlie about his soulmate when he hadn’t even told his parents.

Her eyes went wide and a loud screeching noise came out of her throat. “Ohhhh, you’re one of those! I thought they were a myth,” she said excitedly, obviously taking a moment to let it sink in because her mouth stopped moving.

“Apparently not,” he added before biting off another chunk of his cinnamon roll.

“Sooo… tell me about him,” she said, once she’d actually calmed down enough to speak again.

Unable to keep the smile from sweeping against his cheeks, he finally nodded in agreement. “Well I don't know much, but his name is Dean and he’s a mechanic. I met his brother, Sam, yesterday and he was looking for a roommate. We talked and he invited me to meet his brother for dinner yesterday evening and that’s when it happened. He had these incredibly bright green eyes before he got stuck with me. Dean has been really nice about the whole thing, said he didn’t care that my eyes were dark...and I’m actually starting to believe him.”

 

* * *

 

Dean’s sour mood didn’t improve until the end of his lunch break when he got a text from Castiel that said he was sorry for leaving so early, but he’d be finished with classes around four o'clock if he wanted to get dinner. Dean ‘s face went into a constant smile that seemed to last through the rest of his work day making the time pass twice as fast as it had before. He did three oil changes in nearly half the time it took the other guys, their slacking would normally have pissed him off but he remained unaffected.

He rushed back to the apartment and snuck into his room, not wanting to be seen till he’d had the chance to clean up and wash the grime away. There was a time in every new relationship where it was cool to just be comfortable with one another and not care about how you look or whether or not you have grease under your nails, but that time was absolutely not less than twenty four hours into it. He took a quick shower but made sure to thoroughly wash his hands and add just a dab of gel to his hair. He checked himself in the mirror before adding a nicer shirt over his tee, leaving it unbuttoned and hoping that it made him look more casual.

Dean stepped into the kitchen and began forming the patties. They didn’t need to go out when he was perfectly capable of making a really good meal, right there at home. He threw some frozen steak fries onto a cookie sheet and preheated the oven. He drizzled olive oil over it and added some of his own seasoning mix to them before shoving the tray inside to bake.

A few minutes later, Castiel tentatively stepped into the kitchen and Dean gave him a quick smile before he flipped the sizzling meat. Dean kept quiet as he slowly moved around behind him, grabbing up some plates and sitting them on the table. Cas also pulled a couple cold bottles of beer out of the fridge and offered one of them to Dean. When there was nothing left for him to do, he leaned against the counter and watched the hamburgers frying. He outright laughed when he saw the way Cas’ mouth watered over the sizzling skillet.

“You hungry, man?” Dean asked with a wide knowing smile on his face.

“Yes, but it’s not just that. Those particular burgers smell amazing,” Cas replied with a soft smile and a tinge of pink added to his cheeks.

“I’m glad you think so. Sammy says they’re the best in Lawrence, our hometown but he’s probably a little biased,” Dean laughed.

“Perhaps, but from the looks of things I’d be willing to bet he’s right.” Dean grinned wide and couldn’t help but notice that while Castiel still seemed a little unsure, he was opening up. Dean couldn’t wait to learn even more about the guy; he seemed so smart and interesting. There was a whole list of things he wanted to know, but he didn’t want it to feel like the Spanish Inquisition so he’d have to take his time.

They talked over dinner. Some of his burning questions got answered, most of them didn’t but the conversation was never dull or boring. Dean took that to mean that something was going right, even if it was just one night in the big scheme of things. His face was once again sore from smiling so much, and he had a feeling that Castiel’s cheeks might have ached a little as well.

“Cas, I... I’m not sure how to approach this. I don’t want to pressure you and I want things to go as smoothly as you need them to, in order to feel comfortable. I guess what I mean is.. was this a date? or could it be?” He chewed his lip and rubbed his neck nervously, he was as honest as he could be about the situation but he really did hope that Castiel would be okay with them being more than just friends, even if it meant taking things slow.

Castiel’s cheeks were regaining the pinkish color that had left them after the conversation picked up, and Dean thought for sure the guy was gonna pass out or something. “Do.. I mean would you want it to be a date?”

“Yeah, man, of course, but only if you’re okay with that. I’m doing what I can to understand things, but it’s kinda hard for me too. I’ve dated and stuff but not had much experience with actual relationships. There was a girl once, that I thought might have been something but she wasn’t and since then I’ve not really tried. You’re kinda the first thing I’ve been excited about in a while, and I’m trying my best not to freak you out, man,” he said chuckling. He hoped the laughter would hide his awkwardness over the confession.

“I would be honored if you wished to court me, Dean. Perhaps if you aren’t busy we could watch a movie. I think that’s a thing that people do. They do dinner and a movie, I think it’s usually outside, but I’m much more comfortable here,” Castiel said with a bright smile and the ache in his chest eased instantly.

“I’d love to watch a movie with you, Cas.” He was being given a chance to romance his soulmate and he was going to do everything he could to make sure it was done right.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my luvely @ANobleCompanion for the speedy and epic feedback and general beta awesomeness! You guys should be grateful too.. check out some of her stuff while you're at it. (pssst she's really good)

Dean made popcorn, insisting that it was necessary for all home cinema experiences, because what was the point if you weren’t even really gonna try. It made Castiel laugh just a little. His nerves were on edge, striking out at every pulse point inside of him as he waited. He’d picked the movie based on it’s well worn case, grateful to know that at the very least his soulmate would like it. Castiel didn’t have much experience with film or television. He’d always been too involved in books and literature to feign an interest in keeping up with the latest social chatter, it wasn’t like he’d had very many people to discuss it with anyway.

 

The sweet aroma of butter and salt filled the air, and he inhaled it fully. He’d never bothered with theaters until his friend Charlie insisted that she “pop his cherry” by dragging him to see a matinee showcasing the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He loved the books and even somewhat enjoyed the movies, but the experience itself was cemented by the smell of freshly popped popcorn. The scent that surrounded him only reminded him of that wonderful experience and he thought it even more fitting that he share the new one with Dean.

 

Once Dean finished in the kitchen Cas watched him make his way to the couch, a large bowl in hand and huge grin on his face. He sat down and relaxed beside him, not close enough to make things uncomfortable, and not far enough away to be rude. Castiel found himself smiling and grabbing up a handful of the warm buttered snack before hearing a musical laugh fall from the plump pink lips of his ..date? Yes, his date.

 

“So what did you pick out?” Dean asked. His smile didn’t falter, not even a little.

 

Not wanting to admit he’d chosen based on the texture of the cover he phrased his words carefully as to not lie, but also keep the tell-all details to himself. “I’m not sure to be honest, but it looked… interesting.”

 

“Awesome, not much over there I don’t like anyway..Do you uh.. want me to get the lights.. or...?” Dean asked hesitantly. Castiel could tell he wanted to, and was only asking because he didn’t want to freak him out. It both scared him and warmed his heart that Dean was already so intuitive to his needs and neglecting some of his wants just as a precaution.

 

“Of course, I’d think it was standard movie protocol.” Castiel gently returned the smile as Dean reached just a little and flipped the switch.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The screen lit up and Dean saw the familiar MGM logo but wasn’t sure what the movie was until the menu screen came up and he saw the heart shaped stitches in the baseball with the words “Fever Pitch” scrawled across it. In that moment he realized that Castiel had picked the worst fucking movie in the collection. Sam had borrowed it from a friend or something, because he was taking a women’s studies class, and they were focused on how genders were portrayed different in the media or some shit. Dean had hoped to God it was because he wanted to meet chicks instead of opting for the messy surgeries, and had voiced that concern on many occasions. However, now that he was staring at Drew Barrymore’s smiling face he really, really, reaaaaally wanted to punch Sam for being the little bitch that brought this down on him.

 

“You uh, you sure you’re okay with this? I mean we can watch something else if you want?” Dean asked praying that someone would hear his future tortured soul screaming for help.

 

“Did I not pick the right one?” Castiel looked up at him with these freakin eyes, that would have given Sam’s kicked puppy look a run for it’s money on it’s best day.

 

“Nah man, this is fine.. just wanted to double check.” Dean smiled, biting down the bile rising in his throat which was probably more from the fact that he was lying to his soulmate than anything else.

 

Castiel’s face lit up and he smiled at Dean which obviously made his insides swirl in a not so manly but really fucking good way. So he swallowed down any more concerns he had and pushed the play button, resigning to the fact that if he had to watch this crap at least he could watch it with Cas. The thought of telling the guy he’d picked the only bad movie was about as appealing as decapitating a kitten.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When asked if he was sure about the movie, for a minute he’d considered just saying no. When he really looked at Dean’s face he found a faint redness that could have been considered a blush, Castiel did not think that was okay. If they were truly going to make things work between them, Dean would have to be able to trust him and not feel like he was being judged over something as silly as his taste in films.

 

So he’d made sure that Dean was in fact okay with his choice and then smiled to solidify his excitement to watch a baseball movie. He’d not had much experience with sports, he knew enough to know their names and some of the more simple rules of each but that was mostly it. Dean seemed like the athletic kind of guy who would enjoy such things, so he wouldn’t turn his nose up at them.

 

About fifteen minutes had passed, and Castiel was pretty sure he knew why Dean might have been embarrassed. As it seemed, the film was less of a sports movie and took a more romantic turn. When the letters “The First Date” scrawled across the screen, he felt it was over the top. He found it annoying and thought it suggested a very low intelligence level of it’s viewers. He did find it endearing that the school teacher had stayed and taken care of the girl even after she’d cancelled their date, despite how disgusting and weird it seemed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Oh God, its really bad, no seriously like really fucking bad. Dean would rather be getting a root canal bad, Who fucking does that? Who shows up for a first date, finds the person spewing their guts everywhere and then says hmmm.. can’t get enough of that? Sure, maybe if you’d already been dating for a while or something that comes with the territory of relationships, but not on the first fucking date. It’s also more than a little “creepy stalkerish” that the guy hangs out on her couch all night without her permission.

 

Did he really do that, did that lame ass guy really clean up her bathroom.. of course he did. Nothing says desperate like I’m cleaning up on our first date, don't kick me out please. Why is she not kicking him out? The dude obviously has problems if he’s willing to go that far before he even knows the woman. Okay now he’s gonna be sick, he’s going to ruin his own first date with Cas by upchucking right in the middle of it because the creepy guy just said the word “chunkage.” Who would put that in a movie? Who the fuck wrote this crap.

 

Okay so maybe the guy is a little funny but it doesn’t compensate for everything else that is sooo very wrong with the damn movie, and it sure as hell doesn’t explain why a girl like Drew Barrymore’s character would give him a second look after waking up and finding him in her apartment. In his experience ladies weren’t nearly that desperate, especially professional, intelligent, and sexy women like Lindsay.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel was confused by the film, he really didn’t understand what Dean found appealing about it but he supposed there would be some differences between them. Just because they were soulmates, it didn’t mean they were carbon copies of one another. There were probably things he found fascinating that Dean wouldn’t enjoy at all. This was something he could do though, he could get through the next hour of this movie and discuss it politely with his date and then hopefully never EVER watch it again.

 

He suffered in silence throughout the rest of the movie, barely grasping what happened on the screen due to the screams of, "Please God make it stop," replaying in his head. He did find that in the more romantic scenes Dean would slide a little closer, and that much he actually liked. They’d gotten to the point where the bowl of popcorn that was once between them was now on Dean’s lap and their thighs were lined up, occasionally brushing against one another. He even smiled a genuine grin when his soulmate wrapped an arm over his shoulder and pulled him closer. Castiel could tell he was nervous about doing it, so he scooted in even further and leaned against him in a vote of reassurance.

 

After that, the scent of Dean surrounded him so well that he didn’t even bother focusing on the television. He hoped there wouldn’t be any kind of question and answer session once it was over. If it was anything like how Charlie had grilled him, he'd be in trouble. Because this...whatever it was just could not hold his attention, and he didn’t want to disappoint Dean.

 

* * *

 

 

The only saving grace of the whole damn situation was that eventually Dean had Cas curled into his side on the couch and for that, he’d bow down and worship the really bad movie Gods. It was really nice to be so close to his soulmate. The feeling that was under his skin on the day they met returned, and it was welcome. The hum of his body buzzed in a similar way to the purr of his Impala and it both excited and comforted him. He chuckled when Cas leaned in further and the long spikes of his hair moved to tickle his nose.

 

Dean was more conflicted than he’d ever been. He wanted the tortuous movie to stop, but he knew that the minute it went off, the closeness between them would soon be jerked away. He hesitantly gave a small kiss to the top of Castiel’s head and fought to restrain himself from angling the gorgeously plump lips up for something more. He was rewarded when he sensed the weight of Cas’ long slender fingers curl palm up on his thigh. Dean smiled and as soon as he had rid his hands from the nervous sweat he’d built up, he immediately intertwined his own.

 

Okay so the last five minutes weren’t as bad, he didn’t find himself looking for a screwdriver to pluck his eyes out. He would even admit that it was pretty cool how they figured out what was important, which obviously wasn’t his baseball obsession or her promotion. He would focus on the strengths, so that if Cas really enjoyed it he could hide his own disgust by talking about the whole ten minutes of the movie that weren’t excruciating.

 

* * *

 

 

“So that was… a happy ending,” Castiel said, complimenting the only aspect of the film he actually enjoyed. His nerves were unsettled all over again because he really wasn’t sure what to do now. He supposed sitting up and moving away from Dean was standard protocol, but he didn’t want to, so he didn’t.

 

“Yup, sure was…” Dean agreed. He was grateful that Cas hadn’t moved yet but he really, really did not want to spend any more of his time thinking about that God awful excuse of video entertainment.

 

“What is your favorite part?” Castiel hoped it would give him a little perspective to find out what exactly drew Dean to the film. He needed to find something good in it, and he figured if his soulmate liked it so much, there had to be some redeeming qualities.

 

“Honestly? Watchin’ it with you, by far the most enjoyable thing tonight.” Dean did everything he could to strategically word his answers to where they weren’t half truths or lies of omission either. Lying to Cas about the movie choice was bad enough, it was once more than he cared to feel guilty about.

 

Castiel’s heart jumped a little when Dean caught him off guard, he hadn’t been expecting anything like that. He found himself immediately smiling wider as he pressed in just a little against the hard body beside him. If nothing else he’d let his soulmate know he appreciated the kind remark. “I must admit that it was the perk of my evening as well. Dinner was the only thing that came close.

 

Dean laughed and Castiel felt a tingling in his gut, it was easily one of the most gorgeous sounds he’d ever heard. Dean’s laugh was hearty and true, like he’d be incapable of holding back. It was honest, rare, and he couldn’t get enough of it. He pressed on though, he really did need to know what about the movie appealed to his soulmate, surely there was something he could connect with. “I um... I was curious to know what you found so fascinating about the movie.”

 

Dean’s head jerked back in disbelief. “Dude, I’ve never seen that before…and unless you really, really loved it, or there is a gun to my head,  I will never watch it again.”

 

Castiel tilted his head to the side and looked incredibly confused. “I don’t understand, I picked it because I thought you liked it.”

 

“Why in the world would you think that?” Dean said pulling away just a little to get a better look at Castiel’s face that was barely lit by the glow from the kitchen.

 

“Well for starters it was on the top of the stack, and the case was well worn like it’s been watched over and over again.” Castiel tried to explain his actions but Dean just stared at him dumbfounded until he grabbed his stomach and the laughter poured out of him. It was a glorious sound just the same as it always was, but it didn’t clear up his confusion.

 

“Dude, that’s not even ours… Sammy...Sammy got it...for chick classes…” Dean said through the small breaks in his fit of amusement.

 

Finally things started to make sense, the movie didn’t belong to either Winchester, and he’d chosen it based on misinformation and assumptions. Castiel shook his head, Dean’s laughter was addictive and contagious. He found himself smiling and giggling into Dean’s side not too long after that.

 

“Oh thank God! Please tell me you hated that movie as much as I did.” Once the rumble of hilarity had died down, Dean had to know. He was sure they would have their differences, but he didn’t think he could endure a lifetime of really bad rom-coms.

 

“It was so bad that I would willingly abstain from movie watching in the future in hopes to never endure that kind of pain again,” Castiel answered with a straight face, which Dean only found more hilarious.

 

Dean’s eyes went wide and a smirk played on his lips. “Wanna watch it again?’

 

Castiel looked at him as if he’d lost his mind, they’d just reiterated how horrible the experience was. Why in the world would Dean think he would want to experience it again? “Okay, now I’m really confused.”

 

Dean just smiled even wider, as if that were possible with the grin already reaching his eyes. “It’s different now, we have a common enemy. We’ll talk all the way through it, about how awful it is without being worried that the other person would be offended. Whaddya say? One more time? Everyone should do at least one bad movie commentary in their lives.”

 

Castiel’s face lit up, it would be nice to share with Dean all the things he’d thought the first time around, and how ignorant certain parts were. If he managed to enjoy more time snuggled up with his soulmate on the couch, well that was just a bonus.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean made another, smaller bowl of popcorn and the second time he sat down was different. He leaned back against the arm and spread his legs wide before he motioned for Cas to move between them. Nervously he obeyed and scooted until his back was lined with Dean’s front and he was completely encircled by strong muscular arms. Dean put the bowl down onto Castiel’s lap and once again pushed play on the remote.

 

They laughed and joked throughout the entire move, Castiel’s body shook against his own and he reveled in the shocks of electric excitement he felt because of it. Dean was grateful that the movie was, in fact, so horrible that things didn’t become even more awkward. About forty minutes into the film, Castiel leaned forward to sit the bowl down and his ass rubbed deliciously against Dean’s cock. He bit his lip and nearly cursed himself for suggesting the position but instead he quickly readjusted himself and focused on the screen.

 

They were cracking up at a comment Castiel had made about Ben needing to get a new hobby when the credits started rolling on the screen. There was a small uncomfortable silence for a moment when the laughter fell, it seemed they were both hesitant about what should happen next. Castiel pressed back further just a little to suggest that he wasn’t in a particular hurry to leave. It wasn’t time for bed yet so he lingered, trying to inhale the scent of Dean for as long as possible.

 

“I had a really good time tonight, Thank you.” Castiel didn’t even attempt movement, it was far too comfortable in Dean’s embrace.

 

“Are you... umm painting tomorrow? I mean it’s Saturday and I don't need to go into work, so I’ve got some free time if you need me,” he asked. It was difficult negotiating the balance between too little and too much. He didn’t want to scare Cas off. As a matter of fact, it was pretty much the fear his mind was most occupied with. But dating someone, and or being their soulmate, was tricky territory at any capacity. However, living with the person and being practically strangers was like real-life minesweeper.

“I would appreciate any help you would be willing to give Dean. I have enlisted Sam as well with promise of lunch from the cafe, would that be acceptable with you? Castiel was a little on edge. He didn’t want Dean to feel obligated to help, but he wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to spend more time with the man.

 

“Yeah man, that’s awesome. I guess...you’ll probably wanna get some sleep then. Getting an early start?” Dean  was just happy that Castiel said he could help. It’s all he’d wanted to do since he’d first laid eyes on the guy.

 

“Not just yet. I’m quite comfortable where I am, if you don't mind.” Cas snuggled deeper against his soulmate’s chest and even turned on his side a little so his face was laying against the hard muscle of Dean’s pecs.

  
Dean just grinned down at him unwilling and unable to do anything else. Yeah, this was the best night of his life, and it seemd like it could only get better.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get more racy... I'm going to earn that Explicit rating in case you were wondering. Also, in my honest opinion I don't think this chapter should be labeled as dub-con but I can see how some aspects could be twisted into that so let me make this clear. I don't want anyone to be upset by this and I also do not want to give away what happens, but I do want to say that Dean is perfectly okay with what's happening and Castiel is none-the-wiser... so just take my word for it when I say that NOTHING IS DONE AGAINST HIS WILL~ It probably doesn't even read as a dub-con situation but better safe than sorry.. also this has only been partially beta'd so any grammar mistakes etc are my own, and I'll update the changed version when it's edited. Thanks guys, hope you enjoy it.

Castiel woke up to the glorious smell of bacon frying and his stomach gave a hearty rumble in acknowledgement. He stretched his body and nuzzled into his pillow for just a moment longer, not wanting to be on his feet just yet. He couldn’t help the bright smile that passed over his face as he thought about how it felt when he was curled up with Dean on the couch. It was warm and comfortable and it made him wonder what it would be like to do more. His body quickly reacted, well aware of just where his thoughts were headed.

 

Normally he would have taken a cold shower, but the urges had gotten even stronger and were almost impossible to ignore now that he’d met his soulmate. He supposed in normal circumstances couples were usually already dating when the shift happened to them. So it would be understandable that they’d want to enjoy the more physical side of that bond. However, it made things incredibly awkward for those who knew nothing about their chosen one.

 

With a groan he palmed himself, unable to hold back any longer. Castiel’s body grew even hotter as images of Dean flashed through his mind. He spat on his hand before it slipped beneath the thin cotton of his pajamas and wrapped around his fully hard cock. He stroked it quickly, squeezing his fingers around the leaking head. He bit his lip to keep from screaming, but there was nothing he could do about the breathy moans that were escaping. The experience was amazing and he used all the best images he could to push himself even further.

 

“Mmmm. Dean,” he let out in a shaky voice. He tried to keep himself quiet but his body was buzzing. It was as if it expected his soulmate to be there with him, which only made things more difficult and erotic at the same time. It almost seemed forbidden, like he shouldn’t be doing it alone, but his erection was quite obvious and he wasn’t ready for mutual orgasm with Dean despite how well their date had gone. His body was shaking and he needed, anything...just something to give him just a little more.

 

It was a single thought of Dean laying in his own bed, touching himself. He pictured them lying down one thin wall apart, just enough to prevent them from seeing one another. Cas imagined what it would be like to hear Dean’s noises, to hear him call out for him. He apparently envisioned it so well he actually thought he heard it, Dean’s rough deep voice growling out his name.

 

“Caaass.” It came out rough and dry like he’d been desperate to say it but unable to find his voice until the last possible moment.

 

Castiel came hard, hot white pleasure erupting inside him until all he could do was shake through it’s power. His eyes rolled back as the ecstasy plummeted all the way down to curl his toes. It was by far the best orgasm he’d ever experienced, it was inconceivably more intense than he’d ever thought possible. His body was still humming as his vision returned and his mind slowly began to go back to it’s normal thought patterns, instead of repeating curses over and over in his head.

 

He made a mental note to explore the full extent of the newfound joy when he had more time and privacy. He’d done his best not to yell or scream, but there was still a possibility that someone had heard him. He shrugged his shoulders and climbed out of bed wearing a huge smile as he slipped into the shower. His morning was certainly off to a good start, and he knew it would only get better. He was going to be working side by side with Dean, his mind immediately supplied more imagery of his soulmate doing manual labor all day and getting a  little paint on him, or perhaps having to take his shirt off due to the California heat. That would have to be saved for later; he really did need to calm down enough to be around other people.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean Winchester was one happy guy. He started breakfast humming and occasionally he even sang a few lines of the chorus to the Greatest American Hero theme song. Sam stepped into the kitchen fairly early and he gave a fond smile as the giant stumbled over to the coffee pot. Dean would have normally poured a cup for him but he was in the middle of frying bacon and mixing pancake batter so Sammy could get his own damn coffee.

 

He was halfway through the first batch of pancakes when he it happened… it was like fire and pleasure...God, it was great, but a little disturbing at the same time. When the exciting jolt hit again with full force his eyes rolled back and his legs got weak.

 

“Uh Sam, I gotta hit the head.. you mind takin’ over?” Dean avoided turning around because the last thing he wanted to do was face his brother with a raging hardon in his pants. Sam hesitated but agreed eventually, not wanting their breakfast to burn completely.

 

“Just flip this batch; then you can grab yours and turn it off. I’ll finish the rest when I get back,” he offered. Dean turned quickly and left the room and into his bedroom as the next shock of pleasure overcame him. He bit back a moan as he crawled on the bed. It was harder to ignore as the pulses became increasingly more intense. He wasn’t sure what was happening until he heard the soft moan from the other side of the wall.

 

“Mmmm. Dean.”

 

Fire lit inside him, like a good whiskey pouring through his system. He felt it everywhere; his skin began to sweat as he tried to neglect his own painfully hard cock. It wasn’t until he was hit with the desperation Cas was feeling, that he decided he’d help any way he could. So he did what he thought was best and slid his hand down tentatively, not wanting to push anything onto his soulmate that he wasn’t ready for.

 

The moment his hand made contact with the hot flesh of his dick, he shivered. The pulse of his heart was shooting out semi-orgasmic shocks to his system and the touch of skin on skin was like a magnet drawing them to that specific location. It was almost more than he could handle, the rivets of pleasure spreading throughout every nerve over and over again. Dean stuffed a pillow over his face and bit down, using the muzzle as a way to call out for his soulmate without being heard.

 

It was more electric than anything he’d ever thought he would feel, and it seemed being closer to Cas only made the jolts more intense. Vivid images of Castiel doing the very same thing flickered into his mind and he whimpered, not that he’d ever admit it later but some things couldn’t be helped.

 

With a searing strike of desire, his mouth shot open and the clamped pillow fell as the name of his soulmate clawed its way out of his throat. He tried to muffle the sound but it ripped through him as he came. His body rocked and jerked wildly as the rough word was ground out of his mouth.

 

“Caaass.”

 

Dean stood up quickly; his legs were like jelly underneath him but he powered through. He knew if he took too much longer, Sam would get worried and come looking for him. He jumped in the shower just long enough to wipe the sweat away,  and carefully avoided the spray with his head. He stepped out a short few minutes later and dried himself off before he slipped his clothes back on and headed toward the kitchen. Thankfully he sent a casual shrug which told his brother to keep his mouth shut. Sammy nodded when he understood and smiled deviously, but he listened and for that Dean was grateful, even more so after Castiel joined them.

 

They made it through breakfast without a hint of weirdness floating around them. Dean was willing to bet Castiel had no idea that what had gone down between them.. had actually affected them both. He’d thought about it almost through the entire meal and had his body not already been drained, he was sure his own arousal would have given a healthy tick of interest with all the imagery his mind offered. Dean thought about how awkward it would be to explain things to Cas, and then decided it wasn’t worth it. Castiel was already timid enough about their new relationship, he wasn’t going to add any unnecessary stress to it unless he had no other option.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean loved getting his hands dirty and helping Cas out was an even bigger bonus. They laughed and talked animatedly while they worked. He tried to focus on the walls and not the more…visible traits of his soulmate. The moment they shared that morning seemed unwilling to be pushed to the back of his mind. They spent the first part of their morning prepping the walls and laying down the thin coat of primer.

 

Sam thought it would be hilarious to tell Cas all the embarrassing tales of things he’d done in his childhood. Dean had probably blushed more than he’d ever admit, but he wasn’t upset. Cas was learning about him and in exchange he’d offered a couple of his own embarrassing stories, even when he didn’t have to. Dean managed to find every single one of them downright adorable…of course he was still kinda running on a post-orgasm high, but he always got a little hazy around Castiel.

 

Once the walls were covered with the bottom layer they had about four hours to kill, and it gave Dean an idea. He bit his lip and rubbed his neck nervously as he thought about whether or not he should do it.

 

“Hey, uh Cas.. If you don’t need to do anything, you wanna go somewhere with me? I’ve got somethin I’d like to show ya,” Dean asked. He waited for Castiel’s response by impatiently bouncing his weight from one foot to the other. He stopped when he saw the smile spreading across the pink chapped lips.

 

“Sure, I’d love to. We’ve got a few hours to spare right?” Dean's heart rate sped up just a little, and then it flew into astronomical levels when Cas just reached over and casually locked their hands together. The spark of electric excitement when it happened was probably more from his own mind than the soulmate connection, but either way he was very happy.

 

When they were tucked into the familiar safety that the Impala had always provided for him, Dean stole a glance at his soulmate and experienced a warm ember of hope begin to burn in his chest. They rode together in silence for a few minutes until Dean reached over to turn the radio on and felt Cas’ slender fingers grab onto it instead.

 

‘Where are you taking me?” Castiel asked, a thin but honest smile pulling up his lips.

 

“Well it’s kind of a surprise, but I’ll tell you it’s near the Roadhouse.” He laughed, when he watched Cas’ brows rise in curiosity toward the undisclosed location. It was only another thing in his huge pile of wins when he thought of all the things that Castiel had shown himself to be. Sure the guy was a little quirky, but it only strengthened his belief that whoever or whatever was hard at work because Dean knew that no one else would appreciate Cas the way he did. He’d been excited about the whole thing from the start, but he was happier on a deeper level that he was actually beginning to fall in love with his tailor-made partner. The idea that there was someone who had been designed specifically for him, was still hard to believe but it was ...awesome.

 

“Okay, so you aren’t going to tell me where we’re going, which is fine, but we could still talk. What about Ellen, she is your.. Aunt?” Dean just chuckled at Cas’ hesitant wording.

 

“Well, sort of. Ellen and Jo lived in Lawrence for most of my life but about a year after Jo and I graduated high school, Ellen’s husband Bill died in a really bad hunting accident. After that, she said they needed a change of pace and that being in Kansas was just too hard, so they packed up and moved out west. We didn’t even know she was around here until a couple weeks before we left home. Long story short, I’ve been asked to check in with her so she can keep an eye on us. I don’t really mind; it’s not like it would put me out and Ellen’s always been good to us.” Dean let the side of his lip curl up into a smile as he thought about his extended family.

 

“If we’re going to be close to the Roadhouse maybe we can grab some food? Breakfast was delicious but I would really love a burger.” Just as Dean gave a quick sideways glance he heard a small rumble and noticed a faint blush on Castiel’s cheeks. He couldn’t help but widen the smile already in place, his heart speeding up just enough for him to notice it.

 

“Sure man, we’ll grab a bite first. I’m kinda hungry too,” Dean chuckled as he pulled into the parking lot. The loud sound of the gravel spinning under his tires was welcomed with a fond recognition.

 

When Dean opened the passenger side door of the Impala, he was once again in awe of the way that the turquoise irises shined on Castiel’s face. He had been right when he thought the color would look good on him as well, but it was nothing compared to the way the bright hue practically glowed against the background of Cas’ tanned skin and dark brown hair. Dean let his hand drop and was grateful that his soulmate wasted no time snatching it up into his own. It was one small way that he was reassured that Castiel, though timid and shy about their new relationship, was just as excited and thrilled about it as he was.

 

Dean led the way through the door and smiled when he saw the same booth in the back empty. He tried to hide his anxiety and his naturally romantic nature by just giving a small nod and pulling Cas toward it, as if he didn’t remember. He cocked a cheesy grin and a charming shrug before watching his soulmate take his seat on the opposite side and roll his eyes emphatically.

 

It wasn’t long before Jo ran straight over to them, being her normal bothersome self for a solid ten minutes until Dean demanded she at least put their orders in, to which she rolled her eyes and replied. “Told Ash to put your burgers on the grill before I came over here.”

 

Thankfully a few seconds later Ellen came out of the kitchen and gave her daughter that look. “Joanna Beth you leave them boys alone now, you’ve got other customers to worry about.”

 

Dean let himself relax but it only lasted a few short minutes before Ellen was behind him and dropping their plates onto the table. Once she’d done that she gave him a hard smack to the back of the head.

 

“Ow, what the … “ Dean stopped himself from continuing, being on her bad side for something was one thing, he sure as hell didn’t want to make it worse.

 

“That’s for not callin your momma and tellin her about him, and about all of this… Which you are promptly going to do as soon as you finish up your date.” She eyed him and he couldn’t help the blush that found his cheeks. He nodded in agreement and added a firm “Yes Ma’am.”

 

Dean had honestly meant to tell his mom, dad, and anyone else who would listen but things had been really busy since it all happened and he’d just forgotten. They ate and he tried very hard to ignore the sounds of pleasure that Cas let out as he wrapped his mouth around a bite of juicy burger, doing everything he could to not think about what had happened that morning or anything else that might make things even more difficult for him. He shoved his own food into his mouth as a more hands-on method of reminding himself to not even think about going there, and thankfully it worked.

 

* * *

 

 

When they’d finished their meal, Castiel watched Dean throw a tip down on the table despite the fact that his extended family never let him actually pay for his food. He was surprised when Dean led him in the opposite direction of the door and instead pushed through a back entrance that he hadn’t even noticed. He saw a fairly large, open building with a lot of power tools and a huge stack of lumber off to the side. He turned to Dean and noticed a nervous twitch of anxiety on his face.

 

“Is this what you had planned to show me?” Castiel asked, hoping he didn’t make Dean even more uncomfortable. His nerves were shooting wild pulses of anxiety; he wasn’t particularly fond of the unknown and it was almost always something he did not want to be “surprised” by.

 

“Yeah, I uh.. this is where I work with wood, I mean. Obviously, this isn’t the garage. Ellen gave it to me when I needed to split Sam’s book case in half because it wouldn’t fit into the apartment in one piece. I uh, also made the bar in there after some drunk thought it was a good idea to bash his friend’s head through the last one.” Dean rubbed at the back of his neck and it made Castiel think that he was just as nervous about the confession, as he had been about the surprise.

 

“Wow,” his mouth moved over the word but he was almost speechless. He took in all the smaller details, loving everything down to the smell of sawdust in the air. He walked through the small space with a smile pulling at his lips and in his heart as well as he tried so hard to feel and sense everything. He thought about the way his soulmate’s nervousness was palpable and how he’d been so on edge, and then it hit him like a lightning bolt. Castiel was incredibly shocked he hadn’t noticed it sooner. He was sure that, although Dean might be a very talented mechanic, it wasn’t his soulmate’s calling. He could feel the passion poured into every inch of space around them and knew without a doubt that this was where Dean belonged.

 

“You really love it don’t you.” He turned his head and gave Dean a sincere and genuine smile. He could see the appeal of carpentry, and molding things with your hands. Castiel had always been a fan of creating himself; usually he leaned more towards interior design but he could certainly understand how Dean had been drawn to woodworking.

 

“Yeah, I mean it’s not much but it’s how I’ve spent most of my free time since we got here.” Dean answered, it was clear he was still unsure and nervous about how Castiel was going to react to all of it.

 

There was a small surge of fearlessness and moved, each step calculated to push him closer to Dean. Once he was standing right in front of him, Cas quickly wrapped his arms around his soulmates thick neck and tilted his head up as if he were begging for a kiss. Dean’s face leaned in toward him and Castiel took that moment to push their lips together. It was a little awkward at first, not having any experience with kissing, but soon he felt the weight of Dean’s hands on his hips and he let go.

 

Castiel’s mouth moved and his teeth playfully nipped at Dean’s lips as if the knowledge was ingrained in him because it certainly was not a learned skill. He lost track of time as their bodies were pushed tightly together and he was barely able to think, let alone have enough of his mind’s faculties to count the seconds or minutes or hours as far as he knew. Castiel was not going to complain; it was amazing and the sparks of them colliding together was driving pleasure spikes throughout every nerve beneath his skin.

  
“Firecracker.” Dean smiled as he backed away to pull in some air, and that’s when Cas noticed oxygen was apparently a necessary requirement that he’d somehow forgotten. He was perfectly okay with that; he’d gladly trade his breath for another kiss like the one he’d just received, whenever and wherever Dean wanted. 


	6. Chapter 6

Dean smiled and touched his fingertips against his mouth in an attempt to hold onto the memory and every single detail of how Cas had kissed him. He took his jacket off and threw it over the metal tool cabinet before he pulled the barstool over to his work station. He motioned for Cas to sit down and was relieved when the other man just smiled and took his seat. Dean’s steps were heavy at first but once he pulled the leather strap of his toolbelt tightly around his waist, everything except for the reassuring glances from his soulmate seemed to fade away.

 

He checked the sketch that Cas had drawn for him again and measured the long wooden slat twice before he marked and cut it down to the size he needed. He worked methodically; rechecking everything before his hands formed what he would call the bare bones of the three-piece shelving system. It was nearly an hour later before he knew it and he felt his heart curl tightly when he looked up and Castiel was still looking back at him, smiling as he watched every movement.

 

Dean turned away to hide his cocky smirk before he pulled his shirt over his head and heard an audible gasp leave his soulmate’s mouth. He bit his lip and smiled as he tucked it into his back pocket before turning back around. He knew it probably wasn’t playing fair but Cas had kissed him and the thought of it happening again was driving him wild. Not to mention that it was actually really warm inside the workshop, the thick walls blocking almost all of the crisp fall breezes that could have cooled his skin.

 

He’d finally finished assembling the wood, which meant it was time to sand it down. He began rubbing the gritty paper over the harsh splinters until they were smooth. About two minutes after he’d started, he realized that Cas was probably bored out of his mind and that it was definitely something he could do.

 

“You wanna help?” Dean asked with a smile. He was welcomed by a large grin and an eager nod of Castiel’s head. He threw a small cut of sandpaper over to him, explaining that he didn’t have to worry about the smooth areas as much as he did the corners and ends where the nails had split the wood.

 

“I’m not sure that I’m doing this correctly. Would you mind showing me?” Castiel’s tongue slipped out of the side of his mouth and Dean had to swallow quite a few thoughts down after he witnessed that gesture. He knew it was just an excuse to get him closer, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to say anything.

 

“Sure,” he replied, laying his own piece down and moving around his work table until he was situated behind Castiel and his arms were wrapped around him warmly. His hand covered the long nimble fingers as he moved them together with the grain of the wood, making sure to not stay in one place too long. He breathed quiet instructions and reassuring compliments against Cas’ ear.  Dean had to pull away when his soulmate’s hips pushed back against him as he bent further to reach a more difficult area. If he stayed there much longer his body would not submit to his mind’s insistence to remain calm.

 

He could tell that Cas was disappointed by the distance he’d put between them, but he knew the guy well enough to know that he wasn’t ready for anything remotely close to what his body was craving and he needed to walk it off before he could let himself near Castiel again. Dean stepped into the small doorway and used the cool air that the wind pushed against his face to soothe the fire they’d ignited by the simple act of being slotted against one another. He forced some pretty disturbing thoughts into his head to help calm him down before he turned around and got back to work.

* * *

 

 

Castiel watched carefully as his soulmate stepped back and moved across the room toward the door. At first, he thought he’d done something wrong but it didn’t take long to realize that it was just overheated excitement that had driven him away. He could certainly understand that, because having Dean behind him shirtless and a light sheen of sweat on his skin had ignited his own arousal until he was achingly hard. Thankfully, the work table held the ability to conceal his erection. He knew that if they’d stayed in their previous position and Dean had been in the same shape he was, he’d have surely felt it against him. That thought only spurred new ones about how much he really, really wanted that.

 

He enjoyed moving the rough scratchy paper over the splintered spots of wood, and used that satisfaction to distract himself from what he desired most. Castiel had learned quite a few new things that day. He’d either suddenly perfected masturbation or there was a new intensely electric charge now that he’d become mated. He really liked being able to help Dean even if it was something small like sanding. Last but certainly not least, Castiel learned that for someone who’d had little interest in sex before, let alone developed any kind of kinky list of turn-ons’, he had a special thing for Dean shirtless in a toolbelt. Those images would be welcomed to haunt him for the foreseeable future.

 

They worked together for a while longer before Dean declared it done for the moment. It was really time to get back and put the next layer of paint on his walls. The combination of Dean’s hand to his lower back and the cool breeze against his sweaty skin caused a delicious shiver to crawl down his spine. They climbed into the Impala and he had this insane urge to just scream out, he’d never been so happy and it was a refreshing change in his life. So he did… he squealed at the top of his lungs and probably sounded a lot more effeminate than he’d planned but he didn’t care.

 

Dean looked at him with a half smile and a raised brow, clearly stating his confusion. “You okay man?”

 

Castiel scooted in closer until their bodies were pushed tightly together and his head rested against Dean’s shoulder before he replied. “I’m fine. I’m just unbelievably happy.”

* * *

 

 

They finished painting the room hours later, having to use two coats to get the right shade was a pain in the ass, but it was done. Dean’s hand pulled at the skin on the back of his neck nervously as he remembered the fact that he’d promised Ellen he’d call his parents and tell them all about the soulmate match. The thing was, he wanted to show off his new eye color, and his new soulmate… but he wasn’t really sure that it was an acceptable thing to ask of someone you hadn’t even taken out on an official date yet. They’d had dinner and a movie at home, which was awesome and they’d had lunch at the Roadhouse which was cool too, but Dean couldn’t help the nagging feeling that he really needed to take Cas out somewhere that wasn’t owned by people he knew.

 

He shook his head because his mind was wandering places and distracting him. Normally, he would have taken that and used it as an excuse to forget to call home yet again, but he found himself eager to tell John and Mary all about everything. He bit his lip nervously as Cas eased down on the couch beside him, having just finished his shower and smelling like cinnamon and coconut. It was intoxicating and Dean wanted to lick the scent right off of him, but he stayed on task.

 

“Cas… look, it’s totally fine if you, uh, wanna say no. I promise I won’t be mad or anything. The thing is, I gave Ellen my word that I’d call mom and dad today... and I will either way, but I’d really like it if you could, I don’t know, maybe... join me for a Skype call or something. My mom is really cool most of the time, but she’ll be all over me about meeting you and finding out everything she can about you. I mean, I think it could be fun, but if you don’t want to, then it’s okay, really,” Dean was rambling and when Castiel’s lips locked onto his, he knew it was just to shut him up.

 

“Dean, I’d love to say hello to your parents if that’s what you want.” Castiel smiled wide. In that moment, Dean was putting his entire faith in the soul-mating deity, whomever they may be. He picked up his phone and after his mother’s excited screams, he told her to meet him on Skype. Just for clarification he reminded her of every step to make the call, with a few chuckles when he finally got her set up. Dean hung up the phone and tentatively grabbed Cas’ hand and pulled him into the bedroom where his computer was.

* * *

 

Dean smiled at his soulmate with a finger to his lips as he swiveled the camera around to point solely on himself, hoping that he could surprise his parents. He heard the familiar ringing and eventually he was staring at the smiling face of his mother. She gasped openly when she took in the new color and Dean couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied at her pleased reaction.

 

“Oh honey… they’re gorgeous!” Mary smiled. Dean was pretty sure the waterworks were coming sooner or later, and he had money on much, much sooner.

 

Dean smiled back at his mom, the sight of her had always managed to make him act like a goofy kid all over again. “Where’s dad?”

 

“He’s comin’; had to put his things away in the garage. So, tell me everything,” she prodded eagerly. It was clear she wanted all the details, most of which Dean didn’t have. He was excited to show Cas off, but if John didn’t join them soon, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise.

 

“I don’t wanna do this twice, mom, just hold on.” He couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face when she soured in disappointment that Dean was actually going to make her wait. Thankfully that was when his dad popped up in the background, saying he was on his way and his heart began to ramp up. He was ecstatic to share this part of his life with Mary and John, but more so, he wanted to share his parents with his soulmate. Castiel’s hand tightened on his and Dean did everything he could to keep himself from glancing, which would have led to staring, over at him.

 

“Alright, alright I’m here, Mary.” John said as he took a seat next to his wife and squinted at the screen. “Oooh what are those, blue or green?” John asked as he moved in even closer.

 

Dean could almost feel the blush rising up his face, “Sammy called them turquoise.. but I don’t really know.”

 

“Okay your father is here now, so tell me!” Mary’s face lighting up in excitement, that was when Dean finally gave into the temptation to look over at Cas. He lifted a brow to ask if his soulmate was ready and was happy to see that he was met with a smile and a nod yes. Dean moved the camera back around until both of them were on the screen. John laughed but Mary just gasped in approval. “Oh he’s beautiful, Dean!”

 

“Mom, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to call dudes beautiful.” Dean joked, as he watched Castiel give a small bashful wave in return.

 

“Hello, Mrs. Winchester.” Castiel smiled, the gorgeous blonde on the screen seemed more than welcoming and he had to thank his lucky stars for that. They could have easily been disappointed that his dark hue had sullied Dean’s bright green one, but they were fine with it and it only furthered the desire to tell his own parents.

 

“Oh none of that, you can call me Mary. So tell me all about yourself, Castiel. The only thing I know is your name and that Dean should call home much more frequently,” she responded, leveling her son with a glare that seemed to make his skin itch.

 

“I’m sorry, we’ve been really busy, mom...” Dean was cut off with his mother holding a hand in the air to silence him.

 

“It’s fine, Dean, you’re here now.. just let me find out something about the person that has my son’s heart, huh?”

 

“Well I don’t know about that…” Castiel explained, biting his lip nervously. He realized that his palms were probably sweaty as a slight blush crept up to his face. The idea of having made an impact on Dean’s heart in any capacity had his own beating out of sync. “We only just met recently but I’m happy to answer anything you’d like to ask.”

 

“We actually, umm.. we didn’t know one another when it happened,” Dean stuttered out, hoping that his parents wouldn’t make a big fuss about it. Somehow, he knew that it was a futile dream that would let him down any moment. 

He was right.

 

John’s eyes went wide and Mary gasped again, covering her mouth with one hand and locking the other into John’s on the table. Dean was sure, that if they could, they’d have released balloons, doves, or something just as dorky. With the way they were looking at him, he was surprised that they didn’t have those animated heart eyes he’d seen in cartoons.

 

“Oh my,” Mary finally added.

 

“I’m surprised that Ellen didn’t already spill all my secrets,” Dean replied. His heart beating a little easier now that they’d been officially outed as one of “those” couples. People were always so in awe of the bonds that happened instantly. He had honestly been a little freaked out by the whole idea until it had happened to him.

 

“Dean,” John warned.

 

“So Castiel, tell me about yourself. How was it that you two met anyway?” Mary interrupted. She knew that Dean was teasing and didn’t want it spurring an argument.

 

Castiel recounted the story of meeting Sam, of his anxiousness to get into a new place and how comfortable Sam had made him feel. Then he told the story of the Roadhouse and how everything had gone black. “I honestly don’t remember much about things after that. While I have your attention, if it wouldn’t put you out and Dean doesn’t mind, I’d really like a moment of your time to myself when we’re done here.”

 

Dean looked over at him curiously but agreed instantly as did his parents. They talked about school, work, and pretty much all things California. Mary and John made plans to visit for fall break, claiming that they really missed Ellen and wanted to check in on her and Jo. Dean offered his room up immediately, but they politely turned him down and said that they’d just get a hotel. Time snuck up on them and when they checked the clock, they realized it was much later than they’d expected.

 

“Well, uh.. I guess I’ll leave you be. You sure you’re okay?” Dean asked before he left.

 

“Yes, Dean. I’ll be fine.” Castiel smiled and gently patted Dean’s hand with his own, before shooing him out of the room.

* * *

 

Once he was certain Dean couldn’t hear him anymore, he continued. “I won’t keep you long I just wanted to thank you both so much for raising Sam and Dean to be so kind and caring.” He paused, his hands were shaking but he needed to get it out.

 

“Before I met Dean, my eyes were really dark. I’d been teased most of my life and led to believe that no one would want to be my soulmate. Sam was one of the very first people I’d ever met who looked into my eyes and didn’t make me feel self-conscious or like I was undeserving of his friendship. That in itself was almost just as life-changing as what followed. The reason I don’t remember what happened when Dean and I were mated is mostly because I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I’d matched with someone at all, let alone a gorgeous man with eyes brighter than any I’d ever seen. I kept trying to apologize, thinking he clearly had to be furious or at the least disappointed. Instead, I was met with an unbelievable amount of understanding and compassion.” Castiel had to stop to wipe at the side of his eye, not wanting to be so emotional, but he really wanted them to know the type of men they’d raised.

 

“Just.. thank you so much. They’ve both changed my life, and for that...I really I needed to say something,” Castiel finished shakily, his breath collapsing in his throat. He finally looked up at the screen and smiled when he saw that at least he wasn’t the only one shedding tears. John was hugging Mary close to him and he gave a quick nod in reply.

 

“You’re so very welcome.. and I know despite the whole soulmate process, you’re going to be perfect for Dean. Never doubt that, Castiel,” she answered.

 

“I will try not to. Thank you so much for giving me your time. I hope to see you again soon,” he answered. They quickly waved their goodbyes and he finally ended the call.

 

Castiel took a minute to wipe the red from his cheeks and the glassy look from his eyes before he made his way back to the main room. Dean was sitting anxiously on the couch waiting for him. The presence of his soulmate was enough to calm his eager nerves.

 

“So.. wanna tell me what that was about?” Dean asked curiously, it wasn’t angry or hostile which only reaffirmed his first impression of the man.

 

“One day I promise… but not tonight. Tonight, I just wanna curl up here with you until we have to go to bed. Is that okay?” Castiel snuggled into Dean’s neck, knowing the answer would be yes. He was becoming much more confident in their relationship and it was all because of the wonderful man beside him.

 

“Sure, anything you want, Angel.” Dean smiled and ruffled his fingers into the thick dark hair of his soulmate.

 

“Angel?” Castiel asked, he swallowed hard wondering if it was just coincidence.

 

“Yeah well, it’s a pretty unique name, Cas,” Dean teased, shifting closer until he could feel Castiel’s body along every inch of his own.

  
“Yes, I suppose it is.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry for this update taking so long guys. I'm not gonna lie, I've had plenty of time to work on it but I was incredibly burnt out on writing as a whole I think. So I took a break from most things, only picking up random ideas every once in a while. Also, I've been hardcore Stereking, not writing but reading lol it's consumed me, but never fear a Destiel will always be my OTP! Also this chap is unbeta'd (for the most part I think, unless my lovely tam did it while I was sleeping lol) so all mistakes are mine. Also this is mostly smut, and more of it to come because I am about to hit a kink of mine, you're welcome!

Castiel called out for both Dean and Sam, just to be safe. He knew neither of them were expected home for a couple of hours still, but he was nothing if not cautious. He searched again before slinging his things onto his floor, and stripping himself bare of the clothes he’d worn to class. He’d had an itch under his skin since he’d first experienced the tingling sensation of touching himself after he was bonded, and he had gotten hard just thinking about the freedom he had to explore it within his empty apartment. 

He decided to treat himself by running a warm bath and squeezing a little of his favorite body wash under the tap. His pulse was racing, energy sparking through him quicker than it had when he was a teenager. He bit his lip and smiled, thinking of how it had mostly been a means to an end before. It wasn’t something he’d ever been ashamed of or anything ridiculous like that, but he’d never treated it as something to be anticipated or drawn out even.

Castiel sat himself down in the warm water, feeling it rush over his body was soothing and relaxed his taut muscles. He quickly decided that he was going to have to start running again, or at the very least join a yoga class or something. His body was far too tense, making him feel much older than he actually was. He eased back until his shoulders were barely sticking out of the water and took a deep breath, a smile curving up his lips as he thought about his soulmate. 

He let his mind wander to the day he’d shared with Dean in his workshop the previous weekend. He’d been incredibly good about not revisiting the images, knowing the effect it would have on him, but now was the time to indulge. He closed his eyes and remembered the way Dean’s shirt had clung to him as he measured and cut the thick oak planks. He let out a moan at the memory of Dean twisting his arms and hooking his thick fingers under the hem of his shirt before he pulled it slowly over his perfectly toned torso. He bit his lip and slid his hand down the middle of his own until there was just a few short inches between his fingertips and the head of his excited cock.

Castiel wanted to delay his satisfaction, not to the point of pain but certainly long enough to prolong his enjoyment. If he’d have jumped right in to the physical aspect of his desires he knew it wouldn’t last nearly as long and he’d been biding his time in hopes of playing around with the newfound jolts of his soulmate bond. So instead of letting his hand dip even further down his body, he focused on the way the warm water was lapping against his skin and the images that flipped through his mind. 

 

Dean was underneath the frame of a classic buick convertible when an incredible warmth began flowing inside him. It almost seemed as if he’d never left the comfort of his bed, and was still wrapped up in the thick comforter. He shrugged it off and continued draining the oil into the pan, not really thinking anything of it. A few minutes later he had an image of Castiel stretched out in the bathtub, relaxed and smiling. It was nice, not overtly sexual so he’d mostly ignored it until a familiar but smaller thrum of electric pleasure skipped through his veins.

He groaned internally as he tried to fight off the bond, at least until he could find somewhere much more private. Dean was pretty sure Rufus wouldn’t take too kindly to him jerking off in the middle of the garage, even if he was the best damn mechanic there. He fought back the strings of heat pulsing toward his lower half long enough to put the new filter on. With a quick shout to Stacy in reception that he was taking his lunch break, he was out of there and headed toward the Impala.

There was an impressive jolt as he slid onto the leather seats of his baby, knowing that it was just a matter of time before they got even more intense. He thought briefly about calling Cas and just telling him what was going on, but it wasn’t really something to discuss on the phone despite how much embarrassment it might save them both. One thing was clear though, he would have to say something...this time. 

Castiel dried himself off, still buzzing on the thoughts and images of Dean running through his mind. He spread out on the bed, stretching each of his limbs before propping his head up comfortably on the plush pillows. He reached into his bedside table and pulled out the small bottle of lubricant settled in the back of his drawer. He bit his lip, curious to the point of worry that it wouldn’t be the same this time. There was only one way to find out, he shook off the unsettled nerves and began to teasingly rub his thumb over the taut brown nub of his chest.

It wasn’t quite as intense, but even he knew that there was something extra happening inside him as he sensed the sparks of arousal firing off at every pulse point with concentrated touches. He dipped his fingers below the jut of his hip bone and focused his mind on thoughts of Dean and the way his sweat slick body felt behind him. It was almost enough to drive him over the edge by itself, the scent of his soulmate surrounding him like a warm embrace. The reality of it all was intoxicating, it was as if he could actually feel Dean’s hips slotted behind his own again. Like if he’d just back up a little like he had that day, he’d feel the thick weight of hard muscle pressing against him.

A loud moan ripped from his throat when his hand closed over the tip of his cock, unable to bite it back and not really needing to in the private space of his bedroom inside the empty apartment. His head jerked deeper into the pillow as he tightened his grip and began to stroke himself vigorously. He let the sounds escape unfiltered, with no hesitation whatsoever. It was freeing to be able to call out for Dean, without the possibility of being heard. 

When he slowed his rhythm, images of their most treasured moments played in his mind. Laying curled up together on the couch, the playful banter as they were working together to make dinner, even the walk down the street to the park where Dean had pulled him into a small ice cream shop and bought them both cones.They’d shared quite a few kisses over the last week, but nothing more. Castiel knew that Dean was holding himself back out of respect for their new relationship, and while it was incredibly frustrating, he understood completely.

Small drops of precum leaked onto Castiel's fingers when he squeezed around the tip of his cock and felt a deep vibration of satisfaction ring throughout his body. His long fingers compressing around himself again, drawing out sounds he wasn’t sure he’d ever made. He cupped his tightening sac with his other hand and resumed the quick paced strokes. His breathing labored, and reduced to strained moans and hurried pants. 

He was near the edge, he could feel his body preparing for orgasm when he got a flash of Dean in the Impala fully dressed in what he’d worn to work that morning, rubbing himself through the denim of his jeans. He spilled immediately, his cock twitching wildly as the white ropes of cum shot onto his abdomen. “Deeeeeean.” 

 

When Cas came, a surge of pleasure flooded his body. Dean couldn’t deny that it had him so worked up he almost ended up doing the same thing in the parking lot. But now that Cas was finished he was pretty sure if he started his own self-help session that it would probably confuse the hell out of the poor guy. So instead, he steeled himself by turning up the stereo and drowning out his thoughts with the loud thrum of the Steve Harris on the bass guitar. 

Once he’d managed to calm down, he sent Sam a text begging him to stay out of the apartment until after dinner. The last thing he needed was his nosy giant of a brother listening in on the already awkward enough conversation they were going to have. Then he texted Castiel just to say hello, it was almost impossible to not do stupid cheesy things when Cas was involved. It brought out his romantic side, and he couldn’t even manage the slightest bit of embarrassment about that. His soulmate was amazing, and he deserved every good part of himself that Dean could offer. 

He checked the clock and thankfully, he had just enough time to run through a fast food place and grab a quick bite of something. His good mood didn’t fade as he dug into his juicy meatball sub, and curly fries. It might have been awkward, okay it was definitely awkward when he’d the first jolt came while he was inside the garage, but he honestly couldn’t say he regretted it. Knowing that Castiel was at home in their apartment, thinking about him, and getting pleasure from that in any form was incredibly heartwarming. He’d have been just as thrilled if his soulmate was simultaneously cleaning and humming the tune to Stairway to Heaven, as Dean had caught him do a couple times. 

He finished up his food and quickly made his way back inside, hoping that the second half of his day flew faster than the first. He was a nervous wreck about telling Cas what was going on, but knew he’d be relieved when it was all out in the open. He poured two quarts of oil back into the buick and checked for any leaks or problems. Soon enough he was moving onto the next car, and if he was humming the same Zepplin song, well nobody really cared.

 

Castiel smiled when he heard the door click open, he didn’t bother to get up knowing Dean would want to slip past his room and grab a shower before they spent time together. He didn't mind (read fantasized about) the oil stains, or even the occasional shirt drenched in sweat when the air at the garage isn’t as effective. However, Dean wanted to make an attempt to impress him, so Castiel let him be until he finished doing whatever he needed to do. 

About twenty minutes later Dean slipped into his doorway. He smelled like sugar and pine and was clothed in an obscenely tight black shirt, and dark jeans. Castiel nearly swallowed his tongue when he saw how the cotton clung to his perfectly shaped bicep. He was never one who considered body styles, but he was grateful that Dean wasn’t too bulky and took care of himself. It wouldn’t have done him any good to daydream about a soulmate he was terrified of finding in his younger years, but now that he had one it was as if all the dreams he’d never allowed himself were poured into one gorgeous image in front of him.

Dean rubbed his neck, which was one of Castiel’s favorite habits of his. It showed off his prominent muscles, and sometimes even caused his shirt to ride up just a little. It wasn’t until he scraped his gaze away from the minimal two inches of open flesh to look up into his boyfriend’s eyes that he began to worry. “Dean is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just uh.. I wanna talk but first I’m gonna order some pizza. Can you just finish up what you’re doing and meet me in the living room when you’re done?” Dean’s voice was a little shaky, but he didn’t seem terribly upset so Castiel just nodded and continued working on his essay. He had a couple more hours of work but it wasn’t due for another three days so he would just finish up his thought and take a break.

Castiel stepped into the living room about ten minutes later, his worry increasing a little when he caught a glimpse of Dean pacing back and forth on the hardwood floor. He pulled his arms nervously across his chest and moved further inside. “Hello, Dean.” 

“Hey, Cas. Umm let’s sit down,” he replied, gently pulling Castiel onto the couch with him. It was only a brief pause, but the silence between them was torture. They’d shared a few awkward moments in their short time in one another’s presence, as if a cloud of uncertainty was shrouding the space between them. 

“I don’t know what you have to say, Dean but in my experience it’s best to just get the words out as quickly as possible and then deal with the aftermath.” Castiel took a deep breath, his body slightly quivering anxiously, in fear of what could possibly warrant such behavior from Dean.

“Okay so this is going to be awkward as hell, but there’s something I need to tell you. I was going to before, but I thought maybe it was a one time thing. Honestly, even if it wasn’t I really didn’t want to bring it up if it wasn’t necessary but umm it looks like I don’t really have a choice. So here goes.. Uh. Since we met.. and bonded, there are certain things that I can feel.. through that bond. For instance, earlier today.. I uh.. felt some stuff and it made being at work a little uncomfortable but I’m not mad or anything .. just think that maybe we should figure out a solution that works for both of us.” Dean’s voice was shaky at best, he’d never really been the shy type but something about Castiel brought out his insecurities, which was also the most honest part of himself. He could easily fool a room of strangers into thinking his cocky swagger and cute smile was all there was to him, but he wanted Cas to see the real him, and he hoped that it would be enough.

Castiel tilted his head to the side, with a confused sort of look on his face. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. What do you mean you felt some stuff?”

In his defense, Dean knew he hadn’t explained it very well so he figured the only other option he had was to be straight out blunt about it. “When you jerk off, something gets sent through our bond and it affects me too. I know it’s embarrassing, but I had to say somethin’. I nearly came in my pants at work today." 

Castiel’s eyes bulge until Dean is pretty sure they’re about to fall out of his face. The tips of his ears turn pink and he dips his head into his hands nervously to hide his blush. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that you were being affected by my actions. I mean I knew that it was more intense than it had ever been before. You know what, that actually explains a few things. Although I guess that obviously can’t happen again, I don’t want things to be uncomfortable for you, Dean.” 

Dean let out a small laugh, grateful that Castiel wasn’t too terribly upset by things. He knew that the guy wasn’t completely helpless or anything, but Cas had been through a lot and Dean didn’t want to cause any unnecessary strain on their relationship. “Well, I mean we’ve got.. options. I think rushing into the physical side of our relationship would be a bad idea, I don’t think either of us are ready for that. I want it to be the right time for both of us, and not just because our umm.. bodies are telling us that’s what we should do.”

“Yes, I know that you’re more experienced than I am in those areas, but I agree that it’s too soon for anything that intimate. Even if I have, umm thought about it." Castiel's face reddend just a little and Dean couldn't help the way it made his pulse quicken, everything about him was just too damn adorable.

"Well umm, it might take a while before we're comfortable moving forward in that department, which is perfectly fine. I just, I think with the way that the uh..bond is acting it's going to be very difficult to keep away from...certain things. I will do everything I can to fight it off, if that's what you want, but it won't be easy for either of us. I've umm been thinking, probably shouldn't have but all day this has been on my mind and I couldn't help it, ya know. Anyway, if it's not too weird, I think we can come to an agreement about the umm timing of these events so neither of us would be caught off guard." Dean took a deep breath, unsure of how Cas would respond and not being used to saying so much at one time. He was willing to turn celibate if necessary, but that didn't mean he was excited about it.

"You mean, like a masturbation schedule?" Castiel asked, and thankfully Dean wasn't drinking anything because he managed to choke on air. Leave it to Cas to just be blunt, and say what he thought. 

Dean laughed, he really couldn't hold it back. There was something about the words"masturbation schedule" coming out of that gorgeous and innocent mouth that had him cracking up. "Ah, man Cas. That was perfect...but yeah, something like that. I thought it would probably be easier on both of us if we umm scheduled it before bed or early mornings depending on umm..what you want. We are both typically busy during the day and I just..I dunno I thought it was a good idea at the time, but now I'm not so sure.”

Castiel could tell Dean was getting more concerned with each word that slipped out of his mouth. His lips drew up in a smile as he watched his boyfriend nervously shifting away from him. He wasn’t happy about the new space between them so when Dean finished he closed the gap and pulled him in for a soft, chaste kiss. “You have nothing to worry about, Dean. I think it’s a brilliant idea, and I look forward it.” 

Dean’s head pulled back in surprise and it was all he could do to keep himself from chuckling. He supposed it was only fair, seeing as how he hadn’t been introduced to Castiel’s bold side very often. He’d been so nervous when they’d first met, he was afraid to say or do the wrong thing. Every day seemed to make it easier for him to breathe. He was earning over and over again that Dean didn’t harbor any ill intent toward him.

He was just about to continue the conversation when their was a knock at the door. Dean stood up quickly, nearly running into the bookshelf as he made his way to the front door. He paid for the pizza and hurried back toward Castiel. He sat the boxes down on the oak coffee table and breathed a little deeper, it was nice to know that Cas wasn’t freaked out or upset with him over everything. “You hungry?” 

Just like that things were better. They sank into the soft plush cushions, Dean flipped the television on, and Castiel mostly just watched him. It was an almost familiar routine, despite their short time together. When they were both finished eating Cas scooted in and tucked himself against Dean’s side, getting as close as he could possibly manage. It wasn’t long before he found his face being tipped up and his lips claimed, and he couldn’t have been happier.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is beta'd by @ANobleCompanion who I'm slightly in love with at the moment because she's amazing and bless her heart she leaves little comments on everything she's thinking while she reads it and honestly it just makes me want to write more and more and if you haven't noticed, that's not really something I've been doing recently so if (on the off chance) I do manage to update quicker than I have lately... well you can send your thank you's straight onto her. Preferably by reading her fic "An Angel Came Down" which is totally my new favorite thing (psst and it's complete so you don't have to wait for torturous updates as you're doing for me)

After Dean came clean about what was happening through the bond, they’d managed to sit down and hammer out the best times and best days for their “playtime”, as Dean liked to call it. Well he would have, had it actually happened. It was a little weird in the beginning They’d both agreed that all mornings and bedtimes were perfectly acceptable, but that doing anything during the middle of the day was off limits unless scheduled and agreed upon in advance. It had been nearly a week since the awkward discussion and still nothing, neither of them wanting to be the first to break. (read: Cas was ashamed for already having done it twice and Dean was a big ole’ coward.)

 

Eventually Cas pushed Dean over the edge by grinning at him and commending his expert restraint. Of course, he said this while straddling his lap in between bouts of heated kisses. Dean groaned and grabbed tightly onto Cas’ hips as he stood. Once he’d steadied himself, he let Cas slide off his body and planted him back on the couch.

  
“You, you’re asking for it.” Dean smiled playfully and backed away just a little, wanting to make sure that they were both on the same page and Cas’ mind wasn’t just clouded by arousal.

 

“Well if I knew asking was the way to get it, I’d have tried days ago…” Castiel teased. Dean hardened even further. Hallelujah Cas finally expressed it was something he actually wanted to happen. It wasn’t just some intangible possibility anymore. He swallowed hard and bit his bottom lip.

 

“I’ll uh…” He paused, hearing the faint buzz and muffled ringtone of Cas’ cellphone.

 

Castiel checked the screen and held a finger up to him as he answered the call. He was smiling brighter and Dean could feel his skin heating up even further at the idea of what was to come.

 

“Hello, mother.”

 

Castiel’s face dropped immediately and Dean felt like the rug had been pulled out from under him too, his own breath becoming harder to find.

 

“Yes, of course mother. I’ll pack tonight and catch the first flight I can get.” Dean hated getting only half of the conversation and it was literally breaking his heart to see the smile completely wiped from Cas’ face, the worst part being the pain that had replaced it.

 

Dean tried to let him finish the call without interrupting, keeping his distance steady and unwavering. Until he was sure of what Cas wanted from him, he’d just stay still. His heart lurched and his body begged him to move closer, to comfort his soulmate but he wouldn’t give in. He had this gut wrenching feeling that he’d be pushed away and he wasn’t sure it wouldn’t break him completely if he were.

 

Eventually Castiel pulled the phone from his ear and slumped back against the couch. He wasn’t there long before he pulled himself forward, hands covering his face and digging in against his cheeks. Dean figured it was probably to keep himself from crying. He wanted to offer comfort, but he was unable to speak, almost terrified of what would happen if he did.

 

After a few minutes Castiel’s head snapped up, as if he finally remembered his surroundings. Dean looked pleadingly into the swirling turquoise that seemed darker than it had ever before. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

 

That’s all it took before Dean practically jumped back onto the couch and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s broad shoulders, pulling him in for the tightest hug they’d shared since the bond formed. “What? Are you kidding me? You have nothing to apologize for, Cas.”

 

He waited, letting his boyfriend sink into the embrace. He ran his fingers softly through the dark spikes of hair and hummed quietly, not wanting to push the boundaries, but as long as Cas would let himself be held, Dean would be there to do it. By the second verse of “Hey Jude” hating the bouncing in his soulmate’s shoulders and the soft cries.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“My Dad, he’s uh.. he’s in the hospital. They’re not sure... if he’s going to make it.” Cas spoke the words into Dean’s shirt quietly. It was probably pure luck that he was able to understand and interpret what was said at all.

 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Do you... I mean I’ll come with you, if you want me to.” Dean offered. His heart thumping so loud it seemed like someone was beating on the drums of his ears.

 

“No, I couldn’t... that’s okay. I’ll be fine. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone and your life is here. I just need to be there. I’m…” he sat up straighter, regretfully leaving the comfort of Dean’s arms.

 

“Cas, I wouldn’t mind to at least drive you up. It might take a little longer but I’d be with you that way and after that, I could just play it by ear. If you have to stay long enough to put me in a tight spot with work, I could easily just come back.”  Dean’s words washed over him like a wave of relief, anxiety, and comfort all at the same time. He knew that it wouldn’t be easy for them to be separated while their bond was still in it’s early stages but he really needed to do this and there was no point in inconveniencing his soulmate. He could handle this on his own, despite the outcome.

 

“I appreciate the gesture, Dean but really it’s fine. I’m going to go book my flight and gather my things. I would like a ride to the airport if that’s not too much to ask?” Castiel looked up at Dean’s face for the first time since the call, the worry and stress already having etched it’s way into the gorgeous features.

 

“Sure, yeah. That’s fine. I can totally do that.” Cas knew his boyfriend was trying to reassure him, but he saw the anxiety hidden beneath it all. He leaned over and left a small chaste kiss against the soft pliant pink lips before making his way toward his bedroom.

 

He booked the earliest flight that he could manage to be on, leaving from SFO to Portland, Oregon, which gave him about an hour to grab a shower and get his bag packed. He tried not to let his nervous energy overtake him again as it had when Dean enveloped him into the warmth of his strong arms. He needed to be stronger than that, his mother needed him to be strong. He could do this.

 

* * *

 

 

The ride to the airport was silent and uncomfortable in a way they’d never been with one another. Not even during what Dean dubbed Cas’ epic “I just found my soulmate” freakout, which was quite an accomplishment because that was awkward as hell. It seemed to be same spark that flared under his skin only this time it was less excitement and more anxiety. He wasn’t a fan of this separation they were about to undergo but Castiel was certain that he wanted to do this on his own and the last thing Dean wanted to do was make the already horrible situation any more difficult for his boyfriend.

 

He pushed down the guilt and nervousness until he could fake a lightheartedness at least somewhat convincingly. He pulled Castiel in against his side, which always made smiling easier. They were tucked together in the quiet for the entire forty minute drive, making Dean’s heart lurch that much harder when Cas had to pull away from his grasp.

 

“Do you, ya know… want me to go in with you? You’ve got over an hour to kill before your plane leaves.” Dean stumbled over his words, feeling more panicked than he’d ever known he could be.

 

“That’s okay, I appreciate the offer but I think it might just make me more nervous. I... care about you a lot, Dean but this really is something I need to do alone. I’m sorry.” Castiel’s face solid in pure determination and as much as it hurt, Dean understood.

 

“Sure, sounds great. You know I, uh, I care about you too… a lot.” Dean’s smile widened and the nervousness was briefly replaced with a warmth flooding through him. He turned his head slightly, damned if he was gonna let Cas see the blush forming on his cheeks.

 

Instead of hiding away though, Castiel pulled Dean’s face toward him and gave a smile, it was the first time he’d seen it since the phone call took it away and it did a very good job of calming his nerves.

 

“I am gonna miss you, Dean.” He’d said before pulling Dean in for a harsh goodbye kiss. Their lips and tongues that were usually the voice of passion, romance, and love were battling in desperation and silent pleas.

 

“I’ll miss you too, text me as soon as you land, and any time you want after that. I know you don’t want me to go with you, and I understand that but just... I just gotta make sure you know you don’t have to do this alone. You and me, we’re, just... dammnit, Cas just promise me you’ll call or text or something if you need anything, anything at all. I don’t care if you just forgot your toothbrush or something just call me and I’ll drop everything and be there in like eight hours.“ Dean was cut off with another harsh kiss, pulling back to see understanding and appreciation in the turquoise eyes of his soulmate.

 

“I understand, Dean, and I promise to call you if I need anything, even a toothbrush.” Dean watched as the chapped pink lips turned upward with a small smile. And he kept watching until Castiel’s backside was no longer visible inside the airport. He felt like a pumpkin on Halloween, like someone had just carved out his insides and left him a hollow shell of who he once was.

 

 _“Of course, cool, Dean Winchester turned into a teenage girl in less than a month after having found his soulmate,”_ he thought to himself and when he also thought about their heated kisses, the long nights cuddling on the couch, the funny stories they’d shared over countless meals together, well he couldn’t find it in himself to feel sorry about it, not even a little bit.

 

The drive back was like chewing, gargling, and then swallowing nails. He hated being away from Cas even when it was for things like work and classes and they were literally within twenty minutes of reaching one another almost constantly, but now it was even worse than all of that combined. The fact that he knew Cas was soon going to be unreachable, (at least quickly) and that he was probably going to be emotionally wrecked dealing with everything, and all on his own for the most part… it just, it wasn’t okay.

 

He bypassed the apartment and went straight for the Roadhouse, aimed to get good and drunk so he could at least numb himself to what was happening even if it was just for a little while. He texted Sam to meet him there, he needed a designated driver and he knew that Ellen wouldn’t even serve the kid a beer until he was legal.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel stepped off the plane, thankful to be on solid ground again. He grabbed his luggage from the conveyer belt as quickly as he possibly could and headed toward the exit. He didn’t expect anyone there waiting for him, he knew they’d be at the hospital. A taxi was parked just outside the door so he rattled off his previous address and slipped into the back seat. The tight stretching beneath his chest only seemed to tighten as he neared his childhood home.

 

He wasn’t sure if it was the soulmate bond, the fact that he missed Dean already, or the dread of what was to come, but he didn’t like the way his skin itched, or the feeling of not being whole anymore. The ride was fairly short, not giving him an abundance of time to overthink things which he took as a good sign. He slipped a few bills into the cab driver's hand before pulling his luggage out of the trunk and making his way up to the house.

 

It was strange how abstract it was now, having not seen it in months, this time more so than the others before it. When he’d come back for the first time after leaving for Stanford it was like walking back into a warm hug. Surrounded by family who’d always been supportive despite his darkened eye color. It seemed as if something had changed though. Now it seemed cold, empty, like it was lacking any form of happiness. He supposed it was probably just the circumstances that had brought him there and nothing more as he pushed his way inside.

 

Castiel was greeted with silence and a slight chill despite the warm temperature. It seemed he was right in assuming everyone was at the hospital. He pulled his suitcase around the corner and dropped his things off in his old bedroom, checking his reflection in the mirror quickly before he’d planned to grab his keys and leave. He stopped, his mouth dropped open in a slight shock. He looked worse than he’d expected and quickly did what he could to hide the dark rings under his eyes, as well as the red splotches on his cheeks from crying.

 

After he’d freshened up a little, he’d quickly jogged toward the living room pulling the keys from the familiar ring and slipped into the garage. Thankfully, someone had understood the importance of doing minor maintenance to a vehicle that sat parked all the time. His heart thudded louder as he thought of his father. He swallowed those thoughts, fears, and emotions down before starting the car and sending Dean a quick text.

 

 _ **I made it here, on my way to the hospital. I’ll keep you updated as often as I can**_. _**\- Cas**_

 

The buzz in his pocket went off when he was almost half way to the hospital. It was a comfort, knowing Dean had returned something, even though he wouldn’t check it until he was safely parked. That, of course, was the first thing he did after shutting off the engine. A smile brightened his face, if only for a moment when he read the words.

 

**_Thank God, I was seriously worried about you getting on that flying metal deathtrap. - Dean_ **

 

When Castiel reached the floor the front desk attendant had directed him toward, he immediately caught sight of his mother. He rushed toward her, enveloping her in the biggest hug he could manage. It must have thrown her off guard because when he pulled back she’d looked at him like he’d just gone crazy. It was then, that the realization that his family weren’t really the hugging type washed over him. Spending so much time with Dean, and even Sam, had made him much more affectionate and tactile.

 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered as he pulled away. His hands fell to his sides and clenched into fists, to keep him grounded.

 

“No, don’t be. It’s fine Castiel. I was just surprised that’s all,” she answered with a small smile.

 

“How’s Father?” He asked, not sure if he truly wanted to know as he took in the look on faces of those in the waiting room. His brother Michael, who he’d not seen since before he left for college, was stoic and unable to read. However, Luke and Anna were completely different, both clearly devastated.

 

“He’s still not doing well, but they are doing everything they can to save him, Castiel. Right now there’s just a lot of waiting. Oh, how I do hate the waiting.” She gave him one more small smile before pulling him into the seat beside her.

 

“I’m sorry, mother I got here as fast as I could.” he started, but she cut him off with a pat to his knee.

 

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, my darling. Although, I do wish that I had been able to take in those gorgeous eyes under much better circumstances.” She raised a brow at him, clearly intrigued to know more about the subject.

 

He felt really guilty, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t told his parents that he’d met his soulmate, because he had. It was just the fact that he’d not really said anything else on the matter that kept nagging and tugging at the back of his mind. He loved his family, but Dean was something he wanted to squirrel away and hide for himself. Not because he was ashamed, but more because he didn’t like the idea of sharing the most precious thing in his life. Thinking of his soulmate only made the tightness around his heart clench even harder, as if it were stuck in a vice that was quickly closing shut on it.

 

“I promise, I’ll tell you what I can after we find out more about what’s happening with father.” Castiel replied, letting his hand cover his mother’s soft, smooth, delicate fingers still placed on his knee. It wasn’t often that any of them shared physical touches but he was grateful for the comfort it provided him in such troubling times.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Once Dean received Cas’ text saying he’d made it, he doubled his efforts to get wasted. He knew it would be a while before his boyfriend would text again, so he was going to take prime advantage of the free drinks Ellen usually offered him. Or at least he was, until she was there, being all motherly and cutting him off. He should have known better, should have gone to a bar where they didn’t know him and didn’t expect him to sit around talking about his feelings and shit.

 

“Dean honey, I know that look and you are not gonna find your answers in the bottom of a bottle. Now, tell me what’s going on before I have to knock you in the head and Sam has to carry you home.” Damn Ellen and her goddamn motherly instinct bullshit. Okay, even Dean didn’t like where his brain was going. He would have never said anything like that out loud, but he was a bit of a douche when he made it past five shots and he’d just downed his seventh before she stopped him.

 

“‘I really don’t wanna talk about it, can I get another round of Jose or do I need to go somewhere else?” He asked, with a blatant look of insubordination. He was done with the third degree, and there were plenty of bars in the area that would feed him booze until he couldn’t take anymore, of course they’d also empty his wallet but at that particular moment Dean didn’t care.

 

“Sure, Dean. Have yourself another round.” She said with a smirk, even in his somewhat altered state of mind Dean knew better than to take that bait.

 

“Sammy, let’s get out of here.” He said toward the table in the corner where Sam was entertaining a brunette that looked like she’d fuck him good, but slice him into pieces afterward.

 

Sam looked almost grateful to be pulled out of the conversation, that look quickly shifted into his bitchface when he’d gotten close enough to tell just how “not sober” Dean really was. He wasn’t drunk so he called it “not sober,” in his head but the truth of the matter was that he was feelin’ buzzed and loopy, and not even a little bit numb like he’d hoped.

 

Being without Cas was not something he wanted to be. He wrapped an arm over his brother’s shoulder and hoped to God he’d survive long enough to look his dork of a boyfriend in the face and tell him he loved him. Tell him he’d loved him from the start, before it was practical, definitely before it was logical, and hell even before he’d understood what the warmth inside him really was.

  
He really needed to get a grip on himself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You can thank @ANobleCompanion aka @SupernaturallyNoble on tumblr for the quick update for many reasons, most of which being pure inspiration and fast beta'ing skills! Hope you guys like it, happy ending to this chapter I swear! Have no fear!

Sam finally convinced Dean to head back to the apartment, it wasn’t easy, but with enough reminders that Cas could call at any minute and need him to be there, he’d finally conceded.

Dean tried not to become overwhelmed by it all, but it was like there was a crushing emptiness inside him that was once filled with all the love he could hold. As if his soul had been ripped out and a hollow void in it’s place.

 

He probably should have been a little more grateful for his brother sometimes because the guy seemed to know exactly what he needed. Sam pulled them both out of the Impala, ushered Dean inside, and deposited him on the couch before calling the pizza place and pulling up their Netflix queue. One day he’d have to make Sammy teach him how to use that friggin thing.

 

They started with the first season of Charmed, because even if it was a little older, it was completely ruled by Badass Ladies, and he could respect that. He tucked himself into what was sort of designated his corner of the couch, typically because Cas would stretch himself out sometimes just laying his head in Dean’s lap. His hand briefly ghosted over what should have been short, dark, spikes of Castiel’s hair but he jerked it back like it had been burnt when he realized what he was doing.

 

“Fuck, Winchester. Now you’re going crazy,” he muttered, mostly to himself although he really didn’t care if Sam heard him, and as “not sober” as he was, he wasn’t sure how well he could manage volume control.

 

Dean plopped over onto the rest of the couch resolutely not thinking about what was missing and focused on the tv. He’d almost passed out when he heard the knock at the door and Sam jumping up to get their food. He wanted to lay there and fall asleep but his brother insisted that he needed to get something in his stomach before he went to bed. He managed to straighten himself up even if it took a little longer than normal, and hazily reached toward the cardboard box on the coffee table.

 

He felt his pocket vibrating and immediately he dropped his pizza.

 

“Dean, What the hell man?” Sam cursed, quickly running to get a plate and some paper towels to clean up the mess. He should have probably considered himself lucky that their apartment had hardwood floors, but he didn’t really care. The only thing he cared about was pulling his phone from the pocket of his jeans and seeing what Cas said.

 

Is it too soon to say that I miss you already? This has certainly been the most difficult day of my life, and I feel like being away from you is a large contributing factor to that. - Cas

 

Dean read it, and while he fully supported typing full words out, he knew that Cas was probably the only person in the world who actually texted like that.

 

I can be there tomorrow afternoon, maybe tomorrow morning if Sammy drives. - Dean

 

He hoped that Cas didn’t ask too many questions but he was going to be honest either way. It might not be a pretty thought that the first thing Dean did when he left was try to get shitfaced, but it was the truth.

 

I’ve been a passenger while both of you were driving, and I know for a fact that Sam is the more cautious. Why would he make it here sooner? - Cas

 

Of course he asked, Dean sat up and rubbed the back of his neck. He knew it was coming just hadn’t figured it would be so quick.

 

I need a couple hours before I can get behind the wheel, but if you want me there Sam will drive me no problem. - Dean

 

He waited anxiously, feeling more sober than he had since he took the first drink but it was probably just an illusion, courtesy of the anxiety that flitted through his brain. There had been a flicker of hope that burned in his chest that Cas would ask him to be there, but he knew it was a long shot. He saw the way his boyfriend was determined to do everything on his own, even though he really didn’t need to.

 

It took longer than he expected to get a reply but just as he was about to pick his fresh pizza up his phone buzzed twice, consecutively beside him. He flicked his finger over the screen and looked at the messages.

 

Not yet, but I could use a nice distraction. This waiting game might not be so bad if I can keep my mind on something else. Tell me a story or something. - Cas

 

I’d call you but a hospital really isn’t a place meant for talking, despite the fact that I think your voice would do wonders to calm my nerves. - Cas

 

Dean wasn’t sure if he was even more nervous or praising his lucky stars that Cas didn’t delve further into the reasons why he couldn’t drive, and he really hoped that wasn’t what kept Castiel from asking Dean to come be with him.

 

He tried to think of a good story to tell Cas, but the buzz of alcohol had settled back down in his mind, making it a little more hazy than before. A smile lifted his lips as he typed out a response.

 

You know how I said I’d drop everything if you needed me? I literally dropped my pizza when you texted. - Dean

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel stretched his back, hoping it would ease the ache between his shoulderblades. He’d been sitting in that damn uncomfortable chair for what seemed like an eternity. When he looked down at his phone, he realized it had only been a couple hours. He didn’t know how his mother or siblings managed to handle it for the entire time they’d been there.

 

He stood, making his way toward the elevator and down to the cafeteria he’d passed on his way up. He put together enough food for the five of them and the cashier bagged up several bottles of water, soda, and juice. He would have normally bought coffee but having his hands full of food wasn’t conducive for handling five hot drinks.

 

He made it back to the group and they all looked somewhat shocked, as if the idea of eating never occurred to them. Castiel furrowed his brows but continued to hand out drinks and  plastic containers filled with sandwiches, salads, and even a few hot meals.

 

They ate in silence, and it made him want to scream. Castiel knew it probably wasn’t an appropriate time to be loud and cheerful, it wasn’t as if he’d forgotten the situation around them but it still stung beneath his skin in the same way a wicked slur or barb would climb beneath his exterior. After years and years of growing up in a quiet house, living a quiet existence, he’d met Sam and then Dean and things didn’t need to be so damn quiet anymore. He relished the loud, joyful conversations, and playful jabs they made at one another during meals.

 

Instead of screaming, laughing, or even trying to make conversation, he just held it in. Looking back on things, it was kind of always that way. He’d always wished to be more talkative, wished that he had more to say, or that it would be acceptable to find out if he did. But he’d never truly recognized the communication he was able to have until he’d met the Winchester brothers. It was as if his entire world was opened up to a wider landscape. When that happened it made him believe that almost anything was possible. Dean had, of course, impacted his life in ways he’d never be able to put into words, but what surprised him was that Sam had became an equally integral part of his new perspective.

 

When they were finished eating, he became determined to find something to do with his hands. If not, he feared he might honestly throw something or break something; if nothing else just to hear sounds that weren’t medical machinery or hospital staff going back and forth through the hall beside them. So he picked up his phone and texted Dean, hoping at least to settle the itch briefly.

 

When he received the reply that insinuated Dean had been drinking Cas was a little disappointed until he started thinking about it and realized he too would have loved to drown his sorrows in alcohol, even if he’d never particularly cared for the taste of it. Dean however, loved the burn of a good whiskey and the bitter bite of a beer, so it was completely understandable. He dropped the subject and continued on, not wanting to make his soulmate feel any more guilt than he was sure he already felt.

 

When he got the text saying Dean had dropped his pizza he couldn’t help the laugh that curled in his stomach and escaped his mouth. His family all turned to stare at him; Michael wearing the look of confusion, Luke just seeming to be bored out of his mind, and Anna, who’d let out a spark of her own smile. He immediately turned to his mother and started to apologize before she cut him off just as fast.

 

“I think this bond you’ve created has done you a world of good, Castiel. I have long wished to see you smile and laugh just as you have done. I hope your father is able to see it too,” she said, a wistful look pulling up the features of her face until she’d managed a tiny grin as well. Her hand patted against his once again and he was finally able to feel a small amount of comfort in the touch. It was nothing compared to Dean’s hand touching his, or a hug, or a kiss, or... he nipped that in the bud. The last thing he wanted to do was think about things that made him long for the touch of his mate. Instead, he turned his attention back to his phone with a fond eye roll and began to type away at his touch screen.

 

I suppose I should be grateful you were not holding an ancient artifact, a small child, or the only remaining copies of the Star Wars movies. Something invaluably precious and not just an ordinary slice of pizza. - Cas

 

He prided himself on the fact that he knew it would make Dean laugh. If he closed his eyes he could almost hear it, the harmonious chords with short gasps between them as if he were trying to catch his breath. His smile faltered just a little when he realized that it was a ghost of memory etched into his mind, a substitute for what he really wanted, but it would have to do.

 

Don’t worry your backup dvds are still in the frame of the bookshelf, far far away from my clumsy hands. - Dean

 

Normally Castiel would have probably jokingly teased his boyfriend about how they’d not been all that uncoordinated when they were holding his hips or pulling at his hair, but with the situation being what it was, he really didn’t need to torture himself or Dean that way. Not to mention the stale smell of ammonia and bleach that filled the hospital was enough to kill any flirtatious urges he might have had.

 

It’s good to know that you are looking after my things, I was worried you’d have nothing to keep you occupied. How’s Sam? Tell me about your plans for tomorrow, or hell anything at this point would be favorable to the medical pamphlets that are my backup for your sparkling conversation. - Cas

 

Castiel tried to ignore the rapidly growing ache inside him, he’d left Dean behind. He was so sure that he needed to do this, needed to be with his family, needed to shoulder his share of the load. However, it seemed the longer he was away from home, the more it seemed to be the worst decision he’d ever made. Knowing that Dean too was at least partly as miserable as he was, did not make it any better.

 

He couldn’t help the small grin that tugged his lips up again when the buzz of his phone came through the inside the pocket of his hoodie. He lifted it back out and his smile only furthered when he read the response.

 

If you’re really that interested in reading about erectile dysfunction, I can just go to bed. I’d hate to ruin all of your fun. - Dean

 

Not the pamphlets I was talking about, but if you need me to pick one up for you… - Cas

 

He knew he was baiting Dean, but they sometimes enjoyed playful barbs and witty banter. He sincerely hoped that his boyfriend wouldn’t take it to heart or think for even a second that he was being remotely serious. There was a line with jokes usually, he’d never had to worry about crossing it because very few people found him particularly funny, but with Dean he’d kind of fell into it… and then analyzed the situation. Before long he knew how to make his mate chuckle, and how to draw out a fully body, half hunched over, uproar of a laugh. It was one of the few things that had brought him a true sense of pride outside of his school work.

 

Very funny, If you were here I’d show you how badly I do not need one of those pamphlets… but you’re not. - Dean

 

Castiel frowned at the screen, feeling the twinge of disappointment. He couldn’t help not being there, but if he were really honest with himself he knew Dean wasn’t upset with him for leaving, he was upset that Cas hadn’t invited him to come along, or let him make the drive. He internally scowled at himself for being so stupid.

 

I miss you too, Get to bed, Dean. You need your rest. - Cas

 

At least ten minutes had passed when he received a reply.

 

Goodnight Cas. - Dean

 

He tucked his phone back into the warm front pocket of his hoodie, resigning himself to incredible boredom for the next however many hours it took for the doctors to actually come out and talk to them. He leaned back into the uncomfortable cushion of the waiting room chair and rested his head against the wall. He closed his eyes praying that sleep would take him, if nothing else to at least pass the time.

 

He was about to drift off when he heard his father’s name being spoken.

 

“Nathaniel James’s Family” A shorter man with light brown hair had called out, a soft and genuine smile tugging at his lips.

 

Instantly every member of his family had climbed to their feet, taking a few steps closer to him.

 

“Doctor,” his mother addressed the man, clearly unsure if she wanted to ask how things were, despite the somewhat chipper attitude he seemed to have.

 

“He was in critical condition there for a while, his heart had basically stopped pumping. Fortunately we were able to administer the right combination of medication and resuscitation techniques until we could operate. The surgery went as expected, no complications during. He’s still not back to himself just yet, but I expect him make a full recovery,”  he said patting Rachel on the arm with a warm look.

 

Castiel could feel the weight that had been lifted off everyone’s shoulders. He was going to be okay, his dad was going to be okay. He knew Dean was probably asleep but he sent the text anyway, thinking it would be a somewhat small, but immediate comfort when he woke up.

 

Doctor says he’s going to make a full recovery. Sweet dreams, Dean. - Cas

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dean woke up to the the cold unsettled feeling in his stomach. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. For the first time in over a month, he woke up feeling as if there was nothing and no one waiting for him. It was earth shattering. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that Cas was still there, still cared about him, but having the distance between them was like a dulling sensation and Dean didn’t like it one little bit.

 

He flipped to his phone and immediately saw the text, it seemed to at least bring a small amount of warmth back into his life and he tried to focus on that. He wasn’t sure what would happen if he’d give himself over to the cold, hollow, emptiness that was still buried inside him. Rising up just a little, enabling him to move his arms more freely and his fingers to type a response.

 

That’s awesome man. I’m really glad that everything is working out, text me whenever you want. - Dean

 

Sam was still there, lurking around watching him as if he were a child or an alcoholic. His presence, to be honest wasn’t something Dean minded. It was comforting. At least his brother was there for him. He knew that if he needed anything, Sammy would get it, do it, be it, no questions asked. Not many people had someone like that in their lives.

 

“That’s enough staring, Sammy. I’m starting to feel like the super cute bikini model being stalked by the psychotic guy pretending to be popporatzi.” Dean turned and leveled him with a glare. Sure he was grateful to have someone there, someone like Sam, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed being watched.

 

Sam sighed, clearly not impressed with Dean’s awesome sense of humor. Okay he wasn’t gonna lie, it wasn’t his best work, but his mind was all hazy with the lack of soulmate bonding time. “Dean, I know this isn’t easy for you but it’s not a reason to be so self-destructive.”

 

He was expecting a lecture. That was one of his brother’s favorite pastimes after all, but Dean knew that he couldn’t handle it at the moment. There was nothing about what was happening to him that would allow him the luxury of sitting still long enough to listen to Sam talk endlessly, all the while wearing the look of a kicked puppy.

 

“Look, I know you’re worried, man, I do. I even understand it, but I can’t do this right now. You don’t know what it’s like. Being away from him just makes me feel so goddamn empty that I wanted to fill it up and make it numb last night. I know that’s not the way to deal with this now, not only because of the massive headache I woke up with, but also because I realized that if he needed me last night I wouldn’t have been able to go to him immediately without help, and that should never have happened.” Dean spat the last words out as if they sliced his throat all the way up. He was so goddamn angry with himself for even getting into that position, that it seemed to make Sam wary of saying anything else. 

_Huh, guess that worked._ Dean thought to himself.

 

“Okay, okay. Just, you know you can tell me anything, right? I mean you know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Do you want me to talk to him? Maybe just let him know that you really are okay with driving up?” Sam asked eagerly, clearly hoping to patch everything up with a butterfly band-aid, and a kiss it and make it better attitude.

 

“Nah, man it’s fine. He knows I want to be there, he just wants to do it all by himself and I gotta respect that,” Dean answered patting his brother on his arm as he took his coffee back to his bedroom, unwilling to be under the scrutinizing gaze for any longer than necessary, even if Sam seemed to be more understanding.

 

He was back underneath the comforting warmth of his sheets quickly, steam still rising from his favorite mug as he slipped it on the nightstand beside him. Dean pulled his favorite book from the drawer inside, purposefully ignoring the brand new tube of lubricant he’d bought, just in case. He quickly lost himself in the story, the dull ache slowly slipping away bit by bit as his head seemed to right itself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel had awakened harshly, as the fluorescent light bore its way through his eye sockets and directly to his brain. He groaned until he realized that his mother was standing in front of him. He quickly jerked forward, apologizing as if he’d done something wrong out of habit. He was met with a warm smile and a soft pat of her hand on his shoulder.

 

“They’re letting us go see him now. I’ve already been, but why don’t you go in and show off those gorgeous eyes?” she asked. He wasn’t sure about going in. If his father wasn’t feeling well enough to see more than one person at a time, the sight of his new irises might make things complicated, even if he was happy about it.

 

“I don’t know...”

 

“Castiel, it’s fine if you don’t wish to, but I think you should.” His mother had always had this way of reassuring him. Perhaps his loneliness yesterday sparked many hateful and negative views of his childhood, but knew that his mother and father loved him. After all, it was kind of a requirement. It seemed now he was able to be grateful for it.

 

He nodded and quickly made his way down the corridor, not stopping till he reached the number 342 that she’d given him. He took a deep breath, swallowing hard before slightly knocking and pushing the door open hesitantly. Castiel gasped. He’d never seen his father looking so pale or weak. Not for the first time since he’d arrived, he regretted the decision to leave Dean behind.

 

“Hello, Father. I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling better.” Castiel let out a sigh, wishing he could be as informal with his family as he’d gotten to be with the Winchesters.

 

There was a small gasp and a wde smile that came next. He supposed his eyes were unbelievably lighter than anyone had expected since he’d bonded with Dean.

 

“Wow, well now, Castiel. Look at you, much brighter than the last time I saw you, and I’m not just talking about your eye color either,” Nathaniel teased. It was clearly a shock and Cas really couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t as if he’d taken the news all that well himself either.

 

They talked for about fifteen minutes longer before his father’s medication kicked in and he was tired. Cas excused himself, quickly taking out his phone and tapping against the letters that lit up his screen. He smiled a little wider than he had since he’d left Dean, but it wouldn't be long now.

  
I really miss my toothbrush, think you could bring it to me? - Cas


	10. Chapter 10

Dean woke up feeling groggy, his nose curled up in disgust at the god-awful taste in his mouth. If he hadn’t known better he’d have thought he’d been gargling dirt in his sleep. He stretched out all of his limbs trying for a little less tension before heading toward to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth immediately, even though his bladder was begging to be emptied. Eventually the bitterness was gone, replaced with a cool mint flavor, and he could continue on with his day.

 

He grabbed his phone and shoved it into the pocket of his sweats before slipping into the kitchen. There was a heavy weight in his gut as he went through the practiced motions.  Sam had already left for class and he was alone. Dean groused just a little at the fact, it was always worse when there was no one and nothing to keep himself from thinking.  With a deep breath and he pushed himself to the mailbox to get his morning paper. Life did go on, even if it didn’t feel right.

 

He tried to think about anything other than the fact that it was the one morning they typically shared breakfast together. It didn’t work, not even a little. His brain supplied vivid images of the way Cas would walk through the doorway, almost staggering with his mind practically still asleep.  The way he’d lay his head over his arms on the table until Dean took mercy on him and pushed a mug of hot coffee in his direction. That picture, the emotions wrapped up in those stolen moments were the only things that had made him smile so wide that it hurt since Castiel left.

 

Dean refused to make a huge meal so instead he pushed a couple slices of bread in the toaster hoping that it would ease his nauseous stomach. Remembering the way his mother had made him toast when he was sick brought a warm  comfort to contrast the emptiness of being alone. He reached into the fridge and pulled out the small container. Sam laughed at him when he’d mixed the butter and jelly together and put it in the fridge, but he always noticed that it was emptied out sooner than he could manage alone.

 

When the toast popped up he, he grabbed his chest. It seemed no matter how prepared he was, that sound would always cause his heart to skip a beat or two. With a shake of his head he slathered it with a healthy coating of the spread and sat it down on a saucer. He waited for the coffee maker to ding before taking a seat. It kicked off just a minute later and he poured his cup full, breathing in the delicious aroma. Finally comfortable at the table ,he pulled his phone from his pocket to check his messages.

 

Dean had just sucked in a hot sip and then nearly choked on it. He read the message a few times just to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. Dean checked the clock and cursed, twenty minutes he’d wasted when he could have been gone already. He sat his coffee down on the table, toast completely forgotten for the moment. He texted back a quick reply, he rushed into his room and threw some toiletries and a couple outfits into his bag. He changed quicker than he’d thought possible and strapped his dad’s old navy bag over his shoulder.

 

Dean stops in the kitchen long enough to pour his coffee into a to-go thermos. He grabs his not quite warm toast up in his other hand before snagging his keys from the shelf by the door. He locked the door behind him and hurried toward the Impala. He shot Sam a quick text to let him know he was leaving and pulled out of the parking lot. Once he hit the interstate and the roads along with the air were a bit clearer, he slid his phone out and pressed the call button twice.

 

“Hello, Dean.” Cas answered, his voice still a little raspy. Dean suspected Cas was still partially asleep and if it were any other time, he’d feel horribly guilty about that. As it was, he couldn’t be anything other than thrilled at the sound of his soulmate’s voice. Letting the hum of electricity spike through him, he let out a contented sigh.

 

“Hey, sweetheart. I’m headed toward you, should be there in a few hours. How are you?” he asked tentatively, unsure if he should let Cas go back to sleep or not. He’d missed the deep rumble of his boyfriend’s voice and really didn’t wanna give it up so soon.

 

“I’m okay. The doctor’s said that he will be fine and I have to trust their judgement. It’s really good to hear your voice, I’ve missed you, Dean.” He couldn’t help the way his heart began to speed up and the thudding in his ears.

 

“I missed you too, Cas. I’m really glad you asked me to come, even if it took you a couple more days than I would have liked. I - things aren’t the same without you.” He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel in an attempt to ease his nervous anxiety.

 

“I don’t know why I’ve been so stubborn about this, I feel this like... stretch without you and it’s very unpleasant. I won’t make this mistake again in the future, I assure you.” Cas chuckled and Dean couldn’t help but do the same.

 

“Thank God,” Dean said, his voice light and easy. He teased Cas, not wanting to go into the details of the aching desperation and the overwhelming feel of being useless he’d been dealing with during their time apart.

 

“I suppose this means you’ll meet my family, are you… are you sure that’s something you’re okay with this soon?” Dean heard the anxiety in his boyfriend’s voice but he wasn’t really sure why it was there. Cas had already sort of met his parents, and it had gone great.

 

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine with it, are you? I mean you sound a little nervous, man. If you want me to, I can just like grab a hotel or something. We can work it out,” he adds shakily. There had been so much brought out in him during their separation, he wasn’t really sure what he felt anymore. It was suffocating to think that maybe Cas didn’t want to introduce him to his family, but at the same time he guessed in a normal relationship they probably hadn’t been together long enough for Cas to have really considered that before.

 

“No! No, it’s great actually. I just didn’t want to… pressure you, or assume that was something you’d want to do. This situation was kind a forced on us, but I’d be more than proud to introduce you to everyone if you’d like me to.” Castiel responded.

 

His shoulders slumped in relief and he let out a long labored breath. “Yes, that’s... I can’t wait, Cas. I’ll uh, I’ll see you soon okay, sweetheart?”

 

“Okay, Dean. I’ll see you soon.”

 

The call ended and he dropped his phone into the passenger seat. With a huge smile on his face, his fingers twisted the worn knob of his stereo system until the drum beats booming from the speakers caused a small vibration against his leg. He sang along happily. After all, Kansas was classic and he would be able to actually hold Cas in his arms in just a matter of a few hours.

* * *

 

 

Castiel loved waking up to the sound of Dean’s voice, in fact he thought he might just prefer it that way. It usually happened when his boyfriend wanted him to eat breakfast before it got too cold, but when he had to slide the cold metal of his phone against his face to hear it, he remembered all the ways the situation was different. When he found out that Dean was already on his way a flame of hope quickly replaced the lingering feeling of disappointment.

  
  


Castiel woke up to the sound of “Enter Sandman” feeling just as exhausted as he’d been when he got home. He checked the clock and realized that it had been less than an hour since he passed out. His body was still exhausted from the anxious stretching under his skin saddled on top of the overwhelming worry over his father’s health. He snuggled further under the blankets hoping to get at least a few more hours. The comfort he’d gotten from the short, simple conversation with his soulmate was enough to lull him back to a dreamless sleep.

 

Several hours later he woke up slightly disoriented until he realized yet again, he wasn't at in the apartment. Even though he’d only lived there for around a month, it still seemed more like home than the place he’d spent his entire childhood. When he was alert enough to really think about it, he knew it was because of Dean, and even Sam; the way they’d adopted him into their lives made him feel like he finally had a place to belong.

 

With the thoughts of his soulmate floating in his mind, Castiel couldn’t help but physically respond. He ignored it though, knowing Dean was driving and not entirely sure the distance would provide enough of a filter. He really didn’t want to take any chances, not where his boyfriend's safety was concerned. Although, he did consider maybe stepping their relationship up just a little. He wasn’t sure they were ready for the completion of their soulmate bond, but that didn’t mean that everything was off the table...right?

 

He rubbed his hands over his face in frustration and stepped down onto the soft carpet, heading straight toward the bathroom. He needed a shower, with very cold water, quickly. Cas let the cool spray rush over him and his body began to tremble from the chill before he’d finally managed to go soft. He shook his head and then turned the handle until he could feel a small amount of warmth seep back into his skin. After that, he quickly washed himself and hopped out before his body got any more ideas.

 

When he checked his phone his mouth dropped open. He’d slept for almost ten hours, missing two texts and a call from Dean. Quickly, he returned the call, not bothering to check the text because the drive would have taken a normal person nine and a half hours. His boyfriend probably made it in eight and a half. Dean didn’t have his address or anything. God how could he have been so stupid.

 

“Cas!” Dean sounded relieved when he answered.

 

“Dean, I’m so sorry. I am soooo sorry. I fell back to sleep and had no idea that I’d stay that way for so long. Where are you? I’ll text you my address right now.” The words came out rushed and anxious and he was terrified that he’d finally managed to screw things up. No one would want to be kept waiting in a foreign city with nothing to do but worry, twiddle their thumbs, and wait for a response.

 

“I’m actually at a diner grabbing a bite. I was a little worried but it’s not a big deal. As long as you’re okay, that’s what really matters. Just calm down, sweetheart.” Dean’s raspy voice made him groan a little. He had to be exhausted, after a long drive cooped up in even the most magnificent car wouldn’t be very comfortable.

 

“Well, I’ll text you the address and you can put it in your phone. When you figure out how long it will take, text or call me back so I can be out front waiting for you.” Castiel toyed with the drawstring of his pajama bottoms while he tried to ease the panic that was elevating his heart rate.

 

Dean chuckled, and even though the stretch, the panic, and a world of other things hadn't gon away, he couldn’t help but smile.  

 

“Alright, I’ll finish up here and text you as soon as I get out to the car. Okay?” The playful tone swept more of the panic away, as if every second that he could hear the deep, raspy, vibrations chipped away the negativity.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dean sent a text when he was about thirty minutes out, telling Cas he’d be there soon. When he didn’t get an immediate response he figured maybe his boyfriend was just busy getting things in order. He knew if it were him, he’d probably be freaking out a little and trying to make sure everything was perfect. When he crossed into Portland, he stopped at the first Gas ‘n Sip he could find and got himself a steaming cup of coffee. He’d only stopped three times, and then only long enough to fill up and take a piss. His baby was not easy on fuel, and it seemed the tank kept getting smaller and smaller.

 

He checked his phone again, even though he knew there hadn’t been a response. It had been almost forty five minutes and still nothing. Dean tried not to worry. He knew it wouldn’t be too long till he saw his boyfriend. It seemed that the bond was aware of it as well, the electric energy sparking out in him again, maybe slightly weaker than he was used to, but still there.

 

Everything okay Sweetheart? - Dean

 

He waited in the parking lot of the gas station for another twenty minutes before he started to drive around the city a little. Dean turned the radio on and navigated his way through the unfamiliar streets, taking in the pale white lights and bare pavement. He circled around what had to have been a business district, high buildings surrounded him on each side, finally found a side street that led him toward a brighter part of the area. Neon lights, and a lot more people pushing through the crosswalks.

 

Eventually he spotted an all night diner and pulled into the parking space. He tried to call Cas, still no answer. He closed his eyes and sent a small prayer. _I uh.. I’m not good at this but I wanted to say thanks. Thank you for sending me the most amazing guy, for understanding exactly who and what I needed him to be. I’ll never be able to return the favor but I wanted you to know I’m grateful. Right now I’m really worried and I just...I need everything to be okay. I need Cas to be safe. I can’t be with him right now to make sure he’s okay so I’m counting on you. I don’t ask for much, just give me this. Please_. It wasn’t something he did often, but his mom used to tell him that angels were watching over him. Whoever, or whatever had brought Castiel into his life deserved a little recognition, and a little trust.

 

Dean was over halfway through his burger when he his phone went off in his pocket. He pulled it out quickly and was immediately rewarded with Castiel’s voice. Cas was clearly freaking out that he’d fallen asleep, but honestly it sounded like the greatest thing Dean had ever heard. He was just relieved that Cas was okay, that his father was still okay, that nothing terrible had happened.

 

The waitress was on her way to his table with what looked like a mouth watering piece of pecan pie, but he just waved her off. Dropping a stack of bills on the table, he apologized, “Sorry I gotta go, someone’s waitin’ on me.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel paced back and forth, the cotton of his pajama bottoms lifting up with the late night breeze. He checked his phone for the fourth time in half as many minutes, as he waited on the text from Dean. He chewed his lip like a piece of taffy, trying to tamp down his rapidly growing heartbeat.

 

GPS says 13 minutes, I’ll make it in 10. - Dean

 

Castiel replied with a quick, “Be careful,” as he took a seat on the swing. He knew it was probably his imagination, but he would have sworn the stretch beneath his skin loosened just a little. The knowledge of the much shorter distance was enough to calm him down, feeling much more excited than anxious. His boyfriend hadn’t given him any reason to think he was upset about him oversleeping, so his nervousness had switched to an incredible jolt of anticipation.

 

Sure enough, ten minutes later, he smiled as the gorgeous Impala pulled into the driveway. He rocketed himself off the swing and ran toward the driver’s side door. He’d barely managed to let Dean get out before he pulled him close and held on tightly. The stretch finally popped and left him completely. His arms instinctively slid up to wrap around Dean’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss as if his lips held the only drink of water he’d ever get.

 

“I’m so sorry, so...umfh... so sorry.” He apologized during the gasping breaths between their heated kisses. Castiel nipped, licked, and sucked until it seemed like they’d spent hours pressed against the cold black metal frame. Finally, Dean pulled away chuckling and drawing Cas back into the present moment.

 

“Nothin’ to be sorry for, sweetheart,” he answered. Dean’s smile seemed brighter and more intoxicating than it had ever before, maybe that was just because it felt like an eternity since the last time he’d been able to see the real thing, and not just the best his imagination could do to recreate it.

 

“Come on, let’s get your things and I’ll take you up to my old room and we can make out for a little while.” Castiel smirked as he watched Dean shake his head with a fond look in his eyes. He was certain that nothing had ever been so wonderfully amazing, at least not in his lifetime. It was as if their bond had rebuilt itself all over again, and he wasn’t weighed down by the massive amount of guilt he’d carried with him.

 

“Now that sounds like my kinda night.” He let the deep, husky, rasp of Dean’s voice wash over him and the contentment seep into his skin. Castiel pushed through the door and around the corner, pulling his soulmate along behind him quietly. The house was dark, but he guided Dean with tugs on his hand, Cas hoped that he didn’t disturb anyone’s sleep but wouldn’t have cared enough to be sorry if he did. There was nothing he’d ever experienced that made him feel the way Dean did and he wouldn’t apologize for that.

 

They stepped through the threshold of his room and Dean’s bag dropped to the floor. Cas was sure to pull the door shut before speaking again. His mind flitted through a variety of things he wished he was ready for, and exactly how it would look, feel, and taste. Shaking his head to bring himself back, he motioned toward the bathroom and then to the bed. “You can change in there and I’ll be waiting for you here.”

 

One more quick kiss and Dean carried his bag into the small room off his, closing the door behind him. Castiel flipped on the lamp on his bedside table before climbing back under the covers. He normally would have screamed, but given the late hour, he just flailed beneath the blankets, a bolt of adrenaline and anticipation shocked through him. His arms, legs, and even his heart jumped in excitement.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dean collected himself inside the bathroom. He was more than happy to see Cas, but it was a lot to take in when just a few hours earlier there was a gaping void inside him that was now full and brimming with hope. He tried to stifle his ridiculous worry over everything, but it was like a jigsaw puzzle he couldn’t figure out. He dressed himself quickly in a pair of pajamas and his favorite Rush concert tee. Smiling, he took out the newly purchased blue toothbrush and moved toward the bedroom.

 

He was surprised to see the bed in even more disarray than it had been in when he left. He shook his head as he watched Cas lift the comforter up and pat the the sheets invitingly. His tongue slipped out of the side of his mouth, causing Dean to groan internally. He followed every movement with his eyes, not wanting to miss a single second of it. He slid in beside his boyfriend and teased him, pulling the surprise from behind his back and poking him in the side with it.

 

“Is that a toothbrush, or are you just happy to see me,” Cas said laughing louder than his family would appreciate. Dean just chuckled as quietly as he could as he grabbed Castiel and tugged him tight against him.

 

“Both,” he replied, inhaling the familiar scent of his boyfriend’s shampoo. Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever missed something as much as he’d missed the feel of Cas plastered against him, the taste of his lips, or the somewhat awkward sense of humor he had. There was nothing he’d ever experienced that made him any happier than having Cas in his arms.  

 

“I think you’re probably the first boyfriend in the history of boyfriends to drive nine hours to hand over a toothbrush, especially one that wasn’t actually necessary,” Castiel smiled. Dean could feel his body shake with the small bouts of laughter that escaped him.

 

“Maybe, but that just means you hit the boyfriend lottery. I mean I’m not one to brag here, Cas but I paid two dollars for that toothbrush and I didn’t even ask you to repay me or anything,” he said playfully.

 

“Well, if it’s repayment you’re looking for, I’ve got some ideas.” Castiel’s smile widened and Dean couldn’t help the uptick of his heart. He calmed himself down as much as he could but it only lasted until Cas surged forward and slotted their mouths together. The tip of his boyfriend’s tongue slid against the seam of his lips until he willingly let him in. Dean’s head started spinning once Cas licked inside his mouth and he tasted the sweet undertones of butterscotch.

 

“Stress eating Werther’s again?” Dean asked with a smirk. He’d jokingly mocked Cas a few times since he’d found out the nervous habit.

 

“I’m just glad you’re here now. I've missed you so much, Dean.” He heard the sincerity in the words and fought off the urge to smother his boyfriend in kisses.

 

“I missed you too, Cas.” Dean hooked his arm over and switched off the lamp, leaving just a small amount of moonlight bleeding in through the window. He moved until he was back into position and huffed a laugh as his soulmate nearly jumped back on top of him.

 

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Castiel whispered against his chest.

 

When Dean had first thought about it, there was a lot of anxiety and worry that clouded his mind. He wasn’t sure if it was how he really felt, or just how the separation had affected him. He was terrified Cas’ family wouldn’t think he was good enough. Hell, even Dean didn’t think he was good enough, so he could understand why they might have a problem with it. He’d barely graduated high school, he’d not even tried to go to college, and he’d probably end up being a mechanic for the rest of his life.

 

The negative thoughts were overwhelming and made it hard to breathe. It didn’t stop until he looked down and caught a glimpse of those gorgeous turquoise eyes. The panic seemed to fall away entirely, and he decided to trust in whatever deity had brought them together.

 

“Nah, If they can’t take one look at me and see how much I love you, well, they’ll just have to take my word for it.” Dean smiled as Cas’ head jerked up, clearly surprised by the declaration.

 

“You - you really love me?” Castiel asked. Dean couldn’t help but notice that his soulmate’s voice was even more timid than it had been the first day, the first time he realized he didn’t have to be alone ever again.

 

“I really do, sweetheart.” He rubbed circles on Cas’s back, hoping to soothe away any doubts he might have had.

 

“I, don’t know if I know how to love, not the way you do at least. I’ve spent my entire life thinking that no one outside of my family would ever truly care about me. Then I met you, Dean, and it was like a light switch flipped on and there were tons of new sights, new emotions, new possibilities that I’d never imagined before. I feel your love, I knew before you even said the words. I can tell that you love me in nearly every single thing that you do. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do that, but I want to try. You make me want to try, Dean.” Cas tugged him even closer and they shared a slow, sweet, kiss.

 

“You don’t have to love me the same way, you love me however you want to, whenever you want to. I’m not in a hurry, sweetheart. We have our whole lives ahead of us. I don’t need you to love me today, I just needed to make sure you knew where I stood. Now, close those beautiful eyes and don’t worry about it. I’m tired, comfortable, and holding the most precious person in the world. I can’t think of a better way to end my night.” Dean’s eyelids drooped down as he snuggled even closer to his soulmate.

  
“Goodnight, Dean.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, this .. wow. You are amazing thanks for showing such an interest in what I'm doing here. I'm trying to update as often as I can without burning myself out. I wanted you to know that the next chapter is written and I'm pretty damn proud of it. I don't know if it's too much or what, but I hope you like it. It will be beta'd by the lovely @ANobleCompanion soon because she's amazing and super fast, despite being sick. Be sure to leave her lots of love she's soooo wonderful. I dunno what I'd do without her.

Dean woke up to small kisses over his shoulderblade. He honestly didn’t remember taking his shirt off, but his skin was bare and Castiel’s lips left a trail of fire across it. He closed his eyes and leaned back into the comfort, relishing in the fact that he felt like a normal person again. The darkness in his chest and his mind was a constant, while they were separated. The depression he’d sunk into in the matter of a couple days was unbelievable. Breathing had been difficult at times, it’s black void choking him on his own thoughts. He smiled when he sensed a light scraping of teeth against his ear, unable to hide the fact that he was awake any longer.

 

“Mmm, you uh... might wanna slow down there, sweetheart. Not sure I can handle jumping into a very cold shower just yet,” he teased. He was rewarded with a small but fond chuckle. He turned over, enabling him to see the full effects lighting his boyfriend’s face. The soft warmth that flowed through him when they were close enough to touch only grew stronger, his hands roaming just a little, to give Cas a chance to say stop any time he wanted.

 

“I don’t recall asking you to,” Castiel trailed off. Dean’s back involuntarily arched upward when his soulmate sucked around one of his already hardened nipples. He bit his lip to hide the moan that threatened to escape. Sparks of pleasure surged beneath his skin were even more overwhelming than usual. The energized jolts pulled things from him he’d never experienced, more exciting than when he’d first discovered masturbation, and much more erotic.

 

“Caaas, mmpfh, sweetheart, you… you gotta… oh God. I can’t…” Dean wanted to tell him to wait, or slow down at least. They needed to think this through with clear minds. Just a couple days earlier Castiel had said he wasn’t ready for things to go further, and he didn’t want any regrets, certainly not when it was so damn good. Dean knew that any version of himself pre-Cas would have probably kicked his ass for even thinking about putting a stop the downright heavenly ecstasy flowing through his body.

 

“What was that, Dean? Did you say something?” Castiel’s smile was probably the most filthy thing Dean had ever seen, and he knew the asshole was doing it on purpose. He almost couldn’t believe it was the same timid, shy, adorable guy he’d mated with. Dean’s cock had already shown an interest when he’d woken up from a delicious dream, but it began pushing out against the cotton fabric of his pajamas. It had gotten to the point where the loose and comfortable fabric was not remotely capable of hiding his excitement. He admitted right then and there, to himself of course, that Cas on a power trip was definitely on the yes side of his kink list.

 

“Cas, you’re killing me.” The words finally spilled out when he took a deep breath and tried to regain some of his composure. He fought every instinct that was telling him to reach, to take, to give until there was nothing left to exchange. He flipped them over, straddling his boyfriend’s thighs. He pushed Cas’ hands flat against the soft mattress, pinning him to his side of the bed and swallowing the growl he almost made when he experienced the delicious roll of his mate’s hips.

 

“Fuuuck, dammnit, Cas. We need to talk about this first. As much as I want you, and you know I do, you really need to think this through. This isn’t something you can undo, and I’m not going to let you push yourself into things you’re not ready for. I love you, and I know you care about me, but I also know that the fact that we were apart for a bit has made us both restless and lonely. I’d be much happier if you made the decision to move things further when neither of us are this...eager for it.” Dean couldn’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth, but it needed to be said. This wasn’t some one night stand he could walk away from when a bond didn’t form. He wanted more for his soulmate, more for both of them.

 

“Ugh, why do you have to make sense. I was just getting to the fun part,” Castiel groaned and playfully poked Dean’s side. Dean was just about to roll his eyes and comment when Cas pushed him off with a swifter movement than he could have possibly anticipated.

 

“You know, Dean. There was one thing we’d both agreed on before the separation. I’d very much like to know if that meets your standards for thinking it over?” Cas dipped in close, breathing the words against the shell of his ear, causing tremors of want and need to course through his spine.

 

Cas’ brow shot up and he had a devious grin pulling up his lips. Dean wasn’t sure what the hell was happening until he remembered that they’d decided to reach mutual satisfaction without actually touching one another and his entire body began to tremble. The thought alone was more than he’d have imagined they’d be doing, and he was very much on board with the whole thing. Every single thing.

 

“Yes...yes, Cas. Holy shiii,” was all he could get out before his boyfriend pushed off the bed and Dean heard himself whine. Fuck it, he didn’t care if he sounded needy or not. The way Castiel had him revved up was more than enough reason. Dean reached a hand down to apply pressure to his aching dick, the soft material of his pajamas rubbing against his bare erection. He probably should have worn boxers, but he’d been in a hurry and hadn’t bothered to put them on.

 

Cas leaned in giving him a quick kiss before pulling away again. “I’ll just be in the shower; wet, naked, and thinking of my gorgeous boyfriend.”

 

“Fucking tease, go!” Dean huffed out, his tone light and sarcastic. The second the bathroom door shut he jerked at the waistband of his loose pajama pants. They bunched around his knees and he didn’t even bother taking them completely off. He squeezed tightly around the head of his cock and threw his head back hard against his pillow. His body shaking, thrumming with energy he’d never known, not even when Cas had started the friction inside the bond.

 

He heard Castiel grab onto the counter and curse under his breath. Dean couldn’t help but smile at how affected he was, remembering how it had been the first time it happened to him. He bucked up hard into his fist, already leaking from the anticipation alone. Not wanting it to be over too quickly he slowed his strokes, waiting until he heard the sound of water running in the shower before starting up again.

 

He remembered the way Cas had writhed beneath him, the way their hips had rolled together. Dean pulled an arm over his mouth to muffle his sounds when he remembered that they weren’t actually at the apartment. There were other people in the house, probably some of which who were even awake.

 

He had almost convinced himself to stop until the hottest fucking picture he’d ever seen popped into his mind. Castiel’s body just as he’d promised; wet, naked, and water cascading over every single inch. Dean wanted nothing more than to follow each droplet into the divots of Cas’ hipbones with his tongue and suck a mark into his perfectly shaped form. He jerked harder and faster than he’d ever done before and came with a harsh bite into the padded flesh of his arm. Hot white ropes shooting halfway up his torso, which was more than enough to prove it had been the most intense orgasm he’d ever had.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel stepped out of the shower on weakened, shaky legs. He’d teased and tested Dean, but the truth was, even without the hormonal lust running his brain waves, he felt - reassured. So maybe he wasn’t up for; everything, but some things would be nice. His smile widened as he mentally made plans to describe in great detail exactly what he was ready to do. He could still feel the tingle of their connection buzzing inside his skin.

 

Wrapping a towel around his waist, he opened the door. He saw Dean spread out lazily on the bed and he couldn’t help taking a moment to enjoy the picture in front of him. Cas lifted an arm comfortably over his head as he leaned against the entryway. His boyfriend was always attractive, sexy, as close to perfect as he’d ever seen. Castiel would  be the first to admit that, but sometimes, some small private moments, Dean was beautiful.

 

The morning sun streamed through his window, spilling against the perfectly tanned skin. The rays highlighted and embellished the gorgeous freckles that were splattered across his face. In those small moments, he wondered about the bright green irises. The ones he’d seen for that split second before they matched. He thought about what it would have been like to stare into them for hours and not just see the carbon copy of his own staring back at him.

 

He knew he loved Dean. He noticed it more in times of reflection, but it wasn’t something he was ready to admit aloud. He was terrified if he confessed everything, if he finally made it clear that he wanted things, that he wanted Dean, that it would all be taken away from him - the friendship he’d found in Sam, the love he’d found in his soulmate, and the hope of a family of his own he’d begun to dream about. He wasn’t ready to take the chance of losing that, not in that moment. Not even when the words were heavy on the tip of his tongue, burning the edge as though his insistence to remain silent was a fan feeding it’s flame.

 

He shook his head and moved forward into the bedroom, finally alerting Dean to his presence. He’d not taken any clothes with him, so the towel, draped excessively low on his hips, was the only way he had to cover himself. He wasn’t shy about his body, the fact that he worked hard to stay in shape kept him confident in that regard. He’d only ever been self-conscious about his eye color, and mating with Dean had diminished most of his anxiety over that.

 

Castiel bent over to dig out an outfit from his bag and smiled over his shoulder. He watched as Dean’s tongue slipped out to swipe over his top lip, and groaned audibly when he caught the bottom one between his teeth and pulled it into his mouth. The man might as well have been the softcore porn to Cas’s teenage hormones, the heel to his Achilles, the Kryptonite to his Superman. He turned away knowing he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself much longer if he kept staring at Dean with that look in his eyes.

 

“You wanna grab a shower? I’ll go get some cearal or something if my mother isn't cooking.” Castiel asked, pulling his boxers up his thighs beneath the soft white cotton of his towel. He almost missed the feeling, longing for a day when he could lounge around with Dean, wearing nothing but a plush robe. He convinced himself there would be plenty of those days in his future as he tugged his jeans on top of them.

 

“Yeah, uh, I’ll just wait till you’re done.” A faint blush colored Dean’s face and Castiel chest ached in the best way. He dropped the towel, his torso still naked and a little wet as he reached into his bag and took out a faded black shirt. Well, it was probably supposed to be black. A few years had turned the fabric into a shade of dark grey and it was warn out, and soft to the touch.

 

Instead of pulling it on immediately he walked toward the bed. A teasing smile lifted his lips as he moved toward his soulmate. When he was close enough to touch, he instinctively reached out, grabbing Dean’s palm and pulling it forward. He ran the calloused tips of his boyfriend’s hand across his waistline, trailing up slowly until it was situated over his chest.

 

“Yours,” he whispered, leaning down to claim the lips he’d only just finished fantasizing about. He gave Dean a fond grin and backed away. Cas lifted the shirt over his head quickly, and pulled it on, tugging the bottom down until it wasn’t rolled up around the edges anymore. His smile turned to a smirk and he left the room with one last phrase. “You know, neither of us are going to spontaneously combust if you touch my body.”

 

Castiel shook his head as he walked toward the kitchen, the smell of bacon frying hit his nose and he was thankful his mother had already begun cooking. That meant fresh coffee, and he was eager to fill his cup. He stepped through the swinging doors and groaned, his stomach reminding him that he’d not eaten anything since night before, when he’d left the hospital. The loud growl caused his mother to laugh, and he couldn’t help the smile that pushed against his cheeks.

 

“I suppose that lovely black car belongs to your Dean?” she asked, her voice was clear and her tone serious.

 

“Yes, mother. Dean got here late last night, I didn’t see the point in waking you and he was exhausted from the long drive. He’s in the shower now, and I’ll introduce him to everyone over breakfast if you’d like.” He didn’t mean for his tone to have such a bite, but he realized quickly how sharp it had sounded when he took in the quick flicker of hurt in her eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t...I swear I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… I’m not used to sharing him yet. I apologize, Mother. He’s very excited to meet you, to meet everyone.” Castiel gave her his most apologetic smile and leaned against her side to offer a kiss to her cheek.

 

“I understand, it’s not been easy for you, Castiel. You’ve had an unnecessarily difficult life in some respects, but that doesn’t excuse you from hoarding him because he’s precious to you. I promise I won’t break him, and because I love you so much; I’ll even make sure Luke treats him better than he did your army men.” His mother’s smile was brighter than he remembered, her laugh filling the room like a warm hug. How had he not noticed such a beautiful thing?

 

“I knew he was responsible,” Castiel grumbled under his breath, pausing just for a moment when he heard footsteps on the tiled floor. When he raised his head, he saw the familiar lilac hue of his sister’s eyes. Anna came in and sat down right beside him, her arm wrapping around his shoulder. She leaned her entire body against him until he graciously passed his coffee over for her to sip. It never ceased to amaze him how she could manage to get from her bedroom to the kitchen, but couldn’t make the last three steps to the coffee pot. He’d lost countless cups of his favorite drink that way, but she was his little sister and he supposed that was his job. It wasn’t exactly as if Michael and Luke were the best big brothers. He knew that from experience. His army men weren’t the only casualties in their efforts to “bond” with him.

 

“Where are Jeckyll and Hyde?” Anna muttered into his chest , her half lidded eyes speaking volumes of her clear disdain for mornings. Castiel started to laugh at their private nicknames for their older siblings but then realized that was a very good question. His brothers were not the type to miss out on any chance to make his life more stressful, and meeting Dean was a prime opportunity to embarrass him.

 

“Don’t worry, Castiel. They just went to the grocery store and to pick up some fresh flowers for the dining room. I sent them out just before you came in, they will be back soon. Maybe you should fetch your mate before they get back and do it for you.” Cas knew his mother was mostly teasing but she did have a point. Besides, Castiel would never argue against something that put him closer to Dean.

 

“Sister, it’s time for you to support yourself, both literally and metaphorically. You know you’re not getting any younger,” he teased. Anna’s smile brightened but she feigned a look of indignation that was laughable. She pushed against his shoulder roughly almost causing him to fall out of his chair.

 

“Real funny, Castiel. I’m only seventeen.” She crossed her arms across her chest and he realized just how much she’d grown in the time he’d spent away at college. He would admit to himself that he missed Anna most of all. They’d always been closer than any of the others. She’d never teased him about his eyes, and that was one of the many things he loved about her. His brothers never truly meant him harm but they didn’t understand how it had affected him anyway.

 

Without hesitation, Cas sat his hand down on her arm and gave it a squeeze before he left. He slipped through the doorway and headed back toward his room, hoping Dean was out of the shower. He knocked just to be safe and was surprised when his boyfriend answered the door. His mouth dropped open and Castiel was sure his shock was written all over his face.

 

It wasn’t as if Dean ever looked bad, not really. Even though his boyfriend liked to come home and shower before making an appearance, there had been a couple times when Cas had caught a glimpse of him straight from work. The image was admittedly for him, a walking version of a wet daydream. Dean obviously thought it was when he looked his worst, so Castiel hadn’t mentioned it despite the late night fantasies it had inspired.

 

Even with the grease under his nails, and painted across his white tee beneath the jumper sporting the Chevy logo, Dean Winchester was gorgeous. When he first woke up and hadn’t had the chance or energy to fix himself as he liked, he was still beautiful. Yet Cas was not at all prepared for the sight in front of him. Dean was dressed in dark slacks and a pale grey striped dress shirt, a black tie hanging loosely around his neck.

 

“Too much? Oh, God. It’s too much isn’t it?” Castiel could see the nervousness in Dean’s expression. His hand twitched slightly, and he grabbed at the back of his neck which was always a sign. Even without their bond he’d have been able to feel it. Dean shook his head and stepped back into Cas’s bedroom, the vision from the back even more enticing.

 

Unable to form a full sentence he swallowed hard. “No!”

 

Dean turned quickly, and Cas realized much too late that he’d practically screamed. He nearly slammed the door behind him and leapt forward across the room, pulling Dean into a bruising kiss. He’d never seen something so innocently erotic and he couldn’t hold himself back. He enunciated as clearly as possible between smashing their mouths together and sucking on Dean’s plump lip.

 

“Don’t... you… dare take that off,” he growled, not meaning for the words to sound so forceful but didn’t regret it when he saw the flicker of arousal in his soulmate’s eyes. Castiel’s decision was made the moment he’d seen Dean standing in his doorway. He moved as swiftly as he could toward his bag and pulled the outfit he’d planned on saving, in case his parents asked him to go to church.

 

“What are you doing, sweetheart? I can change, really, it’s no problem. It was a little ridiculous...”

 

“Do not open that door for anyone other than my mother, and stay inside this room. I’ll be right back out.” he interrupted. Castiel slipped into his bathroom and disrobed like a madman. His pulse rocketed with the excitement of seeing Dean dressed up. He pushed it down, knowing there was nothing either of them could do about it at the moment.

 

He pulled his clothes on and quickly as he could manage and took a deep breath before he stepped back into his bedroom. Dean was sitting on his bed nervously chewing his lip and rubbing the back of his neck. Castiel heart jumped and his knees were a little shaky, but he kept going. He held out his hand toward Dean, his palm up and open for the taking.

 

“Let’s go introduce you to my family,” he said with the smallest smile he could manage, which he knew wasn’t that tiny. His cheeks were stretched so wide he could have been a chipmunk.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  


Dean’s hands were trembling but, he reached out to grab ahold of Cas’s offered one. When he looked up and saw the bright smile framing his boyfriend’s face, his anxiety and nervousness seemed to melt away. The moment he laced their hands together it was them against the world, and he honestly thought they had a pretty good chance. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Castiel, his family would have to see that. Wouldn’t they?

 

They walked into the kitchen, their hands slipped comfortably down to their sides. Dean could feel Cas’ long slender fingers wrapped so fully around his that they became a cocoon of warmth and love. He stepped into the kitchen behind Cas and was met with the overwhelming delicious smell of fried bacon and coffee. He saw a beautiful woman standing at the stove. Her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, presumably out of the way. When she turned and faced him, his breath caught in his throat. He took in the gorgeous sapphire irises, feeling a little weak when finished. They were slightly less beautiful than Castiel’s original color, and for Dean to admit that was not an easy task.

 

He heard an audible gasp, his heart pounding in his chest so loud he couldn’t hear what direction it came from. He held his nervous smile as Cas rubbed circles into the side of his hand with his nimble thumb.

 

“Mother this is Dean Winchester, my soulmate. Dean this is my mother, Rachel.”

 

Just as he was about to reach out a friendly hand, two men burst through the door. One asking loudly, “Did I miss anything good?”

 

“You always did know how to make an entrance,” Rachel said with a fond smile. “Take your seats, the food will be cold if you just stand there gawking at your brother’s mate all day. “It’s nice to meet you, Dean. Welcome to all of… this,” she said gesturing to the entire room with a loud laugh.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a somewhat vivid description of ... something. I don't want to say panic attack, because I've never actually had one of those so I can't pretend to know what it might be like. It's similar to an asthma attack with the side effect of passing out. If that is a thing that only slightly bothers you, you can skip over it by stopping at the paragraph that begins "The thought of..." and picking back up on the paragraph "He'll be fine." I warn against anyone who has a serious trigger for anything like panick attacks, or anything similar to please skip this. If you can't read this but want a safer version just pop me a message and I can email you a copy of the chapter without that part.

Dean smiled at the room, a little uneasy. He knew he’d overdressed, but he wanted to make an impression, and not the one he thought his normal clothes would leave behind. Dean wanted to fit in immediately as he’d thought Cas had done with Sammy and their parents, but knew that it was a completely different situation. It was ingrained in him to offer to help to carry food to the table but Rachel turned him down and then gave the task to the men who'd just walked through the door. Dean quickly learned that they were Castiel's older brothers, Luke and Michael.

 

He’d felt incredibly useless for a moment before he quickly realized that Mary would have done the same thing, and had several times when they were growing up. Dean had to keep reminding himself he was a guest there, and they’d treat him like one. That it didn’t mean anything to not be able to help, it was just common courtesy.

 

They gathered around the table, and Castiel leaned in comfortably against his side. His closeness brought some relief to Dean’s worried emotions and darker thoughts. A gorgeous young redhead sat at his other side, giggling at Luke’s scowl. He’d headed straight for the chair as soon as he emptied his arms of the food, but she’d thwarted his plan. He heard a sigh of relief escape through Cas’ mouth and wondered just how much of a bullet he’d dodged.

 

“Hi, Dean. I’m Anael, you can call me Anna.” She smiled at him, pearly white teeth showing fully. He tried not to squirm under her gaze as she took him in completely. He’d had dates less thorough.

 

“Jackpot, Castiel.” she’d whispered right in front of him.

 

Dean was shocked into silence until his boyfriend leaned across and respond.

 

“You have no idea, you should see the back.”

 

He couldn’t hide the blush forming on his face. Dean Winchester didn’t blush, well not publicly. He looked over at Castiel, wondering what the hell had gotten into his soul mate until he saw the smug smirk on his face. Even Dean had to admit that was fair, after all Cas had to deal with Jo doing the same thing. He was just about to say something in return when he was interrupted by Rachel clearing her throat.

 

“Meeting the family can be stressful for a mate, Castiel. You should at least attempt to be on Dean’s good side for the duration,” she smiled as she leveled both Cas and Anna with a glare.

 

“I apologize, Dean. It seems my son’s manners have all but vanished. And here I thought Lucas would be the one I’d have to worry about.”

 

“No problem, ma’am. I suppose he’s been through something similar with my family.” Dean tightened the grip on Castiel’s hand to reassure him that everything was okay. He could feel the remorse bleeding through the bond, which was something new, but he didn’t bring it up.

 

“Call me Rachel, please. I wasn’t aware that Castiel had met your family already, but he’s been quite stingy with you, so I understand why he hasn’t told me.” She finished her sentence before taking a small bite of eggs from her plate and pulling it up to her mouth.

 

“No, well yes, ma’am, I mean Rachel. Cas hasn’t physically met my parents, but he’s met my brother Sam and some uh… extended family. Sam was the one who actually introduced us,” Dean offered, hoping it would ease the flicker of disappointment he’d seen when he’d made the comment.

 

“So tell me about yourself, Dean.” Her smile was kinder than a few others had been when that question was asked. More often than not, even smaller smiles turned to disappointment when he mentioned his job.

 

“Well, there’s not much to say really. I uh, I graduated high school, barely. I didn’t think college was for me so I took a job working at my uncle’s garage. Then I decided to move to California with Sammy when he started Stanford. When my uncle found out I was leaving, he called in a favor and got me a job at a Chevrolet dealership. We were looking for a roommate when Sam found Cas, and I guess the, uh, rest is history.” He tried not to let his nerves show, but everyone in the room was staring at him and even for the most well adjusted person, that was a bit intimidating.

 

Dean took a bite of food, hoping it would ease a little of the nausea crawling through his stomach. The bacon was delicious, and the pancakes light and fluffy, almost as good as his own. Luckily, he had the good mind not to mention that little fact aloud.

 

“I did happen to notice that gorgeous black machine in the drive, an Impala, right?” she asked, a fond smile curling her lips. Holy shit, Cas’s mom was a car guy, woman, lady, whatever. She liked them, even if it was just the classics. She tried, fairly successfully, to hide it, but Dean saw the sparkle. The very same one he’d grown up seeing countless times over in the reflection of a mirror.

 

“Yes, ma’am. Restored her myself. Dad bought her right before he married my mom. He said when she’d told him they were having a baby he ran right out and bought a sensible family car. She just laughed at him but he parked Baby at Uncle Bobby’s garage, and it wasn’t really moved again until I was fifteen. I kept asking about it every weekend when he’d let me go help out at the garage, but he kept shooting me down. Finally, I guess I got on his nerves so bad he said, ‘you want the piece of junk so badly, just go on and take it.’ Of course, he said it with a smile and next to meeting Cas I think that was probably the happiest day of my life.” Dean took a deep breath. He hadn’t remembered speaking that much at once in a very long time. Castiel squeezed his hand and when he turned his head, his boyfriend’s smile was bright, gorgeous, and a little dopey.

 

“It’s a very beautiful car, Dean. I imagine it took a lot of work, and a fair amount of patience to restore it. As it still does. You can tell immediately that it’s loved and cared for. I suppose if you give all the aspects of your life that same amount of attention and affection, you’ll make my Castiel a very happy man.

 

“Castiel would probably be content to just stare at him all day. I know I would,” Luke teased, his brow shot up obviously waiting on a reply.

 

“Lucas,” Rachel warned. Even Dean could tell she was not a woman to be messed with, much like his own mother. There as a fierce intensity behind those deceptively beautiful eyes.

 

“While it is true that Dean is aesthetically pleasing, he is so much more than that,” Cas cut in. “I would pity someone who never thought to look deeper. He’s passionate about his family, his friends, me, his car, both his woodwork and his work at the garage, everything… just everything he has. He’s brilliant, and maybe he didn’t do so well on standardized tests, but we can all agree that it’s hardly a measure for actual intelligence. I have no doubt that he would have been a scholar, had he wanted to pursue higher education. Dean will hand out parts of himself to anyone he comes in contact with and doesn’t even notice he’s doing it. Granted I’ve not had much experience with matters of this nature but I’ve never met anyone more open, considerate, or loving and I highly doubt it could be done at all.” Castiel wiped the seam of his lips before taking a drink of his coffee and smiling into his cup. Dean’s mouth dropped open widely beside him, he might have been in shock. It wasn’t that he didn’t know Cas cared about him, sure he did, but hearing it like that, so straightforward and sincerely honest, had certainly surprised him.

 

“Well, I suppose you’ll keep similar comments to yourself from now on, won’t you Lucas?” Rachel scolded her son as Dean tried not to laugh. The guy ducked his head and nodded politely, as if she’d rolled up a newspaper and bopped him on the nose with it.

 

They all ate in quiet company for a few minutes, wanting to actually enjoy the food while it was warm. Dean complimented Rachel on her delicious meal, and Castiel went on to rave about Dean’s own ability in the kitchen which only seemed to further his mother’s smile. Rachel told him it would be nice to have someone around to hopefully help out with some of the bigger holiday meals, and Dean found himself agreeing without any thought to how his own parents would react to him missing a large family dinner. He knew they’d have to work out a schedule. With Dean’s parents in Kansas, Castiel’s in Oregon, and them living in California for at least the next four years, it wasn’t as if things would be easy but he hoped to make it work.

 

“You said your brother Sam introduced the two of you. How long were you seeing one another before the match?" She paused, pushing her fork into her next bite only to smile and continue. "Nathaniel and I had been dating for nearly two months when our colors shifted, but I sensed the connection long before that.” She smiled fondly, twirling the band at the base of her left ring-finger.

 

“Oh no, we didn’t date,” Castiel clarified, leaving Dean to flounder a little like a fish out of water.

 

“What he means, is that when we met about a month ago we, uh... I barely got a chance to see his gorgeous blue eyes before I passed out,” he chuckled, hoping to drown out a bit of of the awkward.

  
“Psycheros,” she gasped the word beneath her breath. “You mean your life forc- your soul bonded instantly, and you’re only telling me this, NOW?” Rachel looked up to Castiel, the confusion clear on her face.

 

“Yes?” Cas answered, as if he hadn’t understood why she was confused, and to be fair, neither had Dean. He kept flicking his eyes around the room hoping not to settle on anyone for too long, but unsure of where to keep them.

 

“Castiel Nathaniel James, this is not something you keep to yourself. How you managed to forget everything I taught you, I’ll never understand. I’m so sorry Dean, had I known, I would have never let him leave you in California. You have no idea what you’ve done to this poor boy do you? Or to yourself for that matter!”

 

Dean blinked repeatedly trying to figure out what she was saying, what it meant, but honestly it was still flying a bit over his head. Castiel just stared at her with a blank look on his face that said she’d just woke up that morning and decided to act crazy. Which meant he probably had no clue what to do or say either.

 

“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, but I’m sure it’s fine,” Dean tried to reassure her, but was cut off quickly.

 

“Out!  Michael, take your siblings out of the house, entirely. I need some time alone with Dean and Castiel. Shoo, you too Anael.” She pushed them all out of the room and waited until she heard the latch click on their front door.

 

Before she sat back down at the table, she stepped into the small room off to the side of the dining room that seemed to be a pantry. Dean heard some small noises and a loud thump. He readied himself to go check on her but the sound of her shoes smacking against the floor kept him still.

 

Rachel reclaimed her seat, and put down a large square in front of her. It was wrapped in a burlap paper with a light brown string tied around it, and looked to be older than time itself. Dean had seen quite a few ancient books. Practically living with his uncle during the summers had made sure of it. When the fabric beneath it was revealed, his initial reaction was validated. Light streaks of gold wove through the brown leather, it’s edges worn from time and soft touches.

 

“I told him bedtime stories, I thought he’d remember them. I should have kept on, but once he began getting teased he absolutely hated talking about soulmates and color shifts. I could see the anxiety, the fear, and the pain it caused him, so I stopped. The stories are shifting legends passed down from my mother, grandmother, and further back than even I can date,” she paused shaking her head. “We need to initiate your binding ceremony as soon as your father recovers. We’ll come to you, of course. Dean, you’ll probably want to make sure your parents are there, and any other immediate friends or family, I...”

 

Rachel looked up, and when she looked at them Dean saw a faint blush climbing her cheeks. Her lightly tanned skin turning pink reminded him so much of the few times he’d seen Cas do the same. “I’m sorry, I should explain this better, I’m doing a horrible job of reassuring you boys. I just, I wasn’t prepared for it to be you Castiel. I should have known.”

 

Cas was clearly put off by how odd his mother was acting, and how upset she’d been with him. Dean laid a concerned hand on his thigh that was instantly scooped up, their fingers intertwined like two puzzle pieces made to fit one another. Dean heard Rachel clear her throat and watched the rise of her chest as she took in a deep breath.

 

“Okay, let me start over. I told Castiel the legends of my people, as I have done with all of my other children. I am the descendant of a child born to both human and a Greek God. It isn’t proven, but it is mine and my ancestor's belief, that ours was the line in which the instantaneous soul bonds began. It doesn’t happen for everyone, it has been known to skip one, sometimes even two generations.” She turned her head to the side, Dean could feel the love she was sending toward Cas who still looked awestruck.

 

“So it’s hereditary, this uh... the kind of bond we have?” Dean asked, his mind flitting through ideas like a hummingbird’s wings shifted mid-air.  

 

“Like I said earlier, Nathaniel and I didn’t bond instantly, although my mother and father did. It is a trait typically passed on to females, but you are not the first man in the Eros line to be chosen Castiel. I know this is a lot to take in, but what I need to say next will probably be even more overwhelming so I can give you a minute to discuss things with your mate if you’d like.”

 

Dean looked over to Cas, it hadn’t really meant much to him where their heritage came from but he wanted to give his boyfriend an out if he needed to take a breather. He searched the turquoise eyes for any sign of discomfort or anxiety and found nothing but confusion. “Naw, we’re good. It’s probably better to just get it all out.”

 

Rachel opened the book, pointing to an image of blinding white paint, swirls of color lining through it in an array of hues. It was cracked through the left side, a clear separation between the two unequal sides. It was as if someone had penned the agonizing void he’d experienced while they’d been so far apart. The dark black split the vibrant colors beautifully, yet left him feeling more vulnerable than he probably ever had. The pages were marked with symbols Dean could only assume were Greek, recognizing certain letters he’d seen before, but nothing that would actually help him read it.  

 

“Typically, each person is born with a soul, a similar, yet different one than their mate. When their color shift occurs, their souls latch onto the other and form a mutual combination of both. Instant bonds are different, you are different in every way.” She paused, Dean saw things hidden in the depths of her eyes, things she’d been longing to share with someone.

 

“You were born with pieces of a soul. What I mean is, instead of having one of your own, you were each embedded with part. Usually one mate has a bigger piece than the other, causing no small amount of discomfort and numbing to the unfortunate person. Not to say that the other party has it any easier in most respects. I’ve heard that it feels akin to a very minor heart attack whenever their mate is in distress. Knowing how incredibly difficult Castiel’s life has been I couldn’t imagine that to be easy for you, Dean. I’m sorry, I keep getting off track… there’s so much to say,” she paused again, rubbing her hands together in front of her.

 

Rachel slid her finger down the page pointing toward the dark pen drawings between the two sides of the colorful image.

 

“When you two finally met one another, your pieces acted as magnets pulling together to become one. What would typically happen at that point would be a binding ceremony, but Castiel didn’t explain and I should not have taken his memory for granted. The ritual would have bound the pieces of your soul together until you courted, fell in love, and the physical bond was forged. Some think of it as a milder version of a wedding ceremony, but it’s not really. It’s more of a precautionary measure to make sure your bond is safe from outside forces. Like a health screening, with a much nicer atmosphere,” she chuckled. Dean was still stunned, unable to join her in the laugh, and not really knowing why she was doing it at all.

 

When Castiel’s shoulder began moving against him. He turned to face him, confusion clearly written on his face. Cas trembled and shook as the loud raucous laughs spilled from his mouth. Dean had never seen him like that. Dean wondered briefly, with a little guilt, if randomly going crazy was a family trait.

 

Once Cas settled down Rachel leaned over and patted his hand with an understanding smile. It was meant to convey reassurance, but Dean only felt like it was saying he’d get the point eventually whether he wanted to or not.

 

“We uh, we didn’t do that, and we haven’t… So what does that mean, are we both like, sick or something?” Dean asked, running through her words once again trying to reshape them into his own like he’d done with Shakespeare, to comprehend what was actually being said.

 

“I imagine you were, but not anymore. Each piece shifted and became whole during the blackout you experienced. With the small amount of distance between you there was no problem, it could happily switch from one to the other if needed, but most likely it just rested as a warmth inside of you both. When Castiel flew here, it could no longer meet your mutual needs, so it made a conscious decision.” She turned the page, skipping ahead. Regretfully, there were a few drawings that he hadn’t been able to check out.

 

“I know it sounds crazy, that souls are living, breathing things that are capable of thought, but they are. It had to choose, and I imagine with the smiles that I’ve seen on my son’s face, it chose him. Leaving you to survive without one, and putting both of you at a higher risk. He didn’t know the ramifications, Dean I assure you.” When he looked down at the image portrayed against the soft paper, a lump grew in his throat.

 

“Once a long long time ago, that method was chosen to break unwanted bonds. The results were disastrous to say the least, but I won’t delve too deeply into that at the moment. Castiel would have ached to have you near, but nothing like you would have experienced. Being emptied of such a beautiful soul could not have been easy.”

 

The thought of their bond being broken made him choke. Dean's lungs tightened up, his vision went hazy, and he couldn’t breathe. He faintly sensed Cas’ hand on him, heard his voice through what sounded like water logged ear drums, and smelled something that reminded him of his mother’s fresh apple pie. Shit! he thought to himself, he was going to pass out in front of Cas and Rachel.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“DEAN,” Castiel screamed as his mate went limp at his side, his heart pounding inside his chest. Anxiety and fear stronger than any he’d ever known before surged through their bond, hitting him so hard that he nearly crumbled under it’s weight. Castiel he did everything he could to pull himself together, knowing he needed to take care of Dean, certainly after all that his mate had done for him. He’d practically forgotten that his mother was even there when a cold gush of water spilled over his hand. He looked up quickly to where she was wringing a towel over Dean’s forehead.

 

“Castiel, is he responding?” she asked, but the overwhelming emotion cracked his voice leaving him completely incapable of answering her fully.

 

“Mom,” he croaked. He held tightly onto Dean’s head, until he heard his mother calling out for him to help her by taking him to the couch. His soulmate was much heavier than he expected, but he was able to get a good enough hold to safely carry him. The living room being only a few feet away meant he wouldn’t have far to go.

 

Rachel positioned Dean’s head to hang off the side of the cushion, and he wrapped blankets around him, unsure of what he was actually supposed to do. His mother dipped her fingers to Dean’s wrist, clearly checking his pulse. She sighed deeply, meaning she had to have felt it.

 

“He’ll be fine, this was probably just a tad overwhelming. He handled it better than your grandfather,” his mother said, a smile played widely against her cheeks. Castiel knew that she was trying to reassure him, and normally he could have laughed, but with Dean still unresponsive he couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than worry.

 

Realizing that Castiel wasn’t going to move from his position at Dean’s side, Rachel patted him on the shoulder and  left the room. He sat there for what seemed like hours, his breath labored and shallow, unable to find relief until he could hear the sweet sound of his mate’s voice. His heart was on fire, his chest tightening at every single thought. He’d just gotten past his father having a heart attack. He couldn’t take something happening to Dean as well.

 

Cas laid a gentle kiss on Dean’s temple, despising that his throat was still too broken. He longed to whisper reassuring thoughts in his boyfriend’s ear. Anything to make sure that his presence was known, and felt, into the depths of Dean’s mind.

 

It seemed like an eternity had passed when Castiel sensed the flutter of eyelashes against his cheek.

 

“Cas,” Dean’s voice raspy, hoarse, and the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.

 

“Shh, it’s okay” He managed to get out, finally finding the strength to speak.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING this has some like... not necessarily non-con or dub-con because nothing awful happens or anything, but there's a small section where neither Dean nor Cas is in complete control of themselves so... I don't want anyone being traumatized... so to be on the safe side, just .. enter at your own risk. ~

Once things became a little less blurry, Dean sat up, his head was still aching but he knew he needed to be upright. If nothing else, maybe it would rid Castiel of the panicked look on his face. He still couldn’t explain it, but whenever he thought about the images depicted on the torn pages of Rachel’s book, the pain behind his eyes throbbed even harder. The first picture was a harsh blackness splitting the two pieces. The second was two well drawn human forms; one filled with blacks and blood reds, while the other was filled with colors except for the giant black circle in it’s chest. It didn’t take understanding ancient Greek for Dean to get the drift of what had happened. The thought of either of those things pulling him and Cas apart had caused his whole being to rebel until he passed out.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Dean whispered, Throwing his arms around his soulmate’s neck, he pulled him closer. When their foreheads were leaned together he stopped there. Leaning into the touch and resting his mind for just a moment. He could feel the warmth of Cas’ breath against his face, and it was a calm reassurance that everything was okay. ‘I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” 

He could still see the tear tracks outlined on his boyfriend’s face and cursed himself internally. Castiel already had enough to deal with, worrying about his father. The last thing he’d meant to do was add to the overwhelming weight placed on Cas’ shoulders. When the room came back into focus completely, a small gust of cool air brushed against his chest, and he began to feel the wet fabric clinging to him. 

“I’m pretty sure you’re mom isn’t going to hold a wet t-shirt contest today, so I should probably go change,” he teased, pulling himself up off the couch.

“Dean I think you should stay still until someone has checked you out,” Castiel argued, changing Dean’s previous cocky grin into a genuine smile. He didn’t sit back down though, Based on the amount of force and will it took to get himself vertical in the first place, he knew it would just be counterproductive. 

“How about I go change, and you come check me out? Two birds, one stone, so to speak,” he asked, eyebrows wiggling playfully. He knew that it was a very serious situation but if he let it get to them both, it would only bring more pain. The concern, misery, and a multitude of other similar undesirable emotions, that neither of them needed. 

“Dean,” Castiel started, but was quickly cut off with a small chaste kiss. 

“Look, I know, okay I do. It wasn’t easy to see you pretty much catatonic after the matching, so I’ve kind of been there. Thing is though, I’m fine. So, you can either stay here alone, or you can come with me, let me get changed, and make out with me for a little while until we both feel better.” He didn’t wait to see what the response was, and, knowing that his footing was shaky at best, he quickly headed toward Cas’ room. 

Once inside, he took a deep breath and pulled on his pajamas from the night before. Dean wanted nothing more than to curl up with his mate, but he’d settle for a short nap. All the warmth they’d left between the sheets had faded and he couldn’t help be a little saddened by it. He knew it had been over an hour and would have been foolish to expect differently, but he missed it all the same. However, Dean noticed that the scent of Cas’ coconut body wash and the sharp hints of his cologne clung to his pillow. He pushed his face into it and took a deep breath, it was a comfort even without his boyfriend being there physically.

It wasn’t long before he heard a creak and smiled at the sound of the door opening. He kept his eyes closed, and waited for a dip in the bed. Instead he heard the sound of shuffling things inside a bag and then the opening and shutting of the bathroom door. Realizing that Cas was probably just going to get changed as well - their dress clothes certainly weren’t comfortable make out clothes - he couldn’t stop his smile from growing.The familiar jolt of excitement spiked through his body, surging through each muscle and sensitive arch. Dean felt the magnetic pull of adrenaline and pleasure pushing into each limb and settling low in his gut.

When Cas emerged from the bathroom, Dean turned his head to face him. His eyes shot open wider when he soaked in the image of tanned skin, lithe muscle, and perfectly chiseled hips. There was only a tight pair of boxer briefs covering him, making it incredibly difficult for Dean not to swallow his own tongue. “Holy shi-” 

Castiel lifted the blanket that was covering him and proceeded to straddle his lap. Dean’s hands instinctively reached to settle on Castiel’s hips, still unsure of what was happening. Leaning forward he was met with a warm, enticing kiss. Soft, chapped lips pulled at his own and he wanted so badly to give, take, something, but he was too scared to actually do so. Any movement might speed things up, and he didn’t want to push against any boundaries.

“Cas,” he said, a breathy moan escaping his mouth unwillingly. The sharp nip of teeth cut against his lip and groaned as it sent a shiver of excitement straight to his dick. It wouldn’t be much longer before he Cas would be able to feel the results of his efforts, whether he wanted to or not. The position left him no way of hiding it, not that he wanted to necessarily, but he’d like to have the option.

A warm breath skated across his earlobe as Castiel whispered against it, “Just because we aren’t ready for everything, doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun,” he answered, as if it were an actual question asked of him. Hell, maybe Dean had asked unknowingly, or maybe his soulmate just felt his worry through the bond. Either way it was nice to have an answer. 

Castiel dropped his knees a little, letting his entire weight press against Dean. The gorgeous curve of his mate’s ass rubbed deliciously against his growing cock. A strangled cry erupted from deep within his throat. Everything was overwhelmingly and utterly perfect. His body arched in pleasure without meaning to. As in it had taken on a mind of it’s own, and he’d not been in control of it. Had he not seen it himself, he wouldn’t have believed it. His restraint was weakening, as if the bond was chipping away at it slowly. 

“Cas. are you... are you sure about this? I mean… I’m not complaining here, sweetheart, but there are things happening that I’m not in complete control of, and I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

His boyfriend just shook his head fondly, giving him the look he saved for when he was being asinine. When Cas’s hips stilled over Dean and lifted himself up a small whine was wrenched from his throat.

“Dean, I trust you, I know that you’d never hurt me. You wouldn’t want to, and the bond wouldn’t let you. But just to sate your mind, what’s the worst that would happen? We’d have sex? I could think of worse ways to spend the afternoon, even if I’m not a hundred percent sure that we should. I think most of that is only because I’m not experienced in these matters, and I don’t want to disappoint you. It’s not because I don’t care about you, or because I don’t love you, because I do, Dean. I love you.” Castiel’s mouth opened in shock, confusion and surprise etched into every facial feature that Dean could see. 

Cas looked at him, his eyes still wide but clearly taking a moment to think about what he’d just confessed. He nodded in agreement with the words as if they hadn’t been his own. 

Something wasn’t right.

“I didn’t realize, all I know is that when you were lying there unconscious in my arms, the only thing I could think of was, if we’d done this sooner, it never would have happened. I put that strain on our bond, granted unknowingly, but I did that. It hurt us both but it hurt you more than I could have ever imagined, Dean, and I’m truly sorry for that. So much pain and disconnection could have been avoided if I’d just done things differently,” Castiel finished, his face drawn in to a small frown. No one but Dean would have noticed, and even then it was just a blip. 

Dean lifted Cas further off him, trying not to see the clear hurt written on his face. “As much as it hurts me to say this, man. You need to get dressed, and we need to have a talk with your mom. You’re saying things, that you clearly didn’t intend to say, and my body is doing things I don’t give it permission to do, something is wrong.” Dean chewed his bottom lip. The mood was effectively ruined but he still needed his lower half to get the message.

Castiel was on the verge of pouting, maybe even crying, and Dean felt like his heart was an anvil that dropped down to his stomach. Thankfully, it seemed to taper off once his boyfriend went back into the bathroom. 

“Dean, I think you’re right. Something is wrong.”

Dean swallowed and pulled himself out of bed. “I’ll hand you some clothes. Get dressed so we can go see if your mom can tell us anything about what’s going on. If that doesn’t work we’ll call my Uncle Bobby. He’s smarter than anyone I know, he’d certainly be my best bet, anyway. 

“Sounds good. Maybe you should just get ready and leave though. I’ll get my own clothes. I think physical contact is a no-no at the moment. Us being in the same room without my mother is probably not a great idea. I’m not even sure being in the same room with her is, but I’m much more willing to try it that way,” he replied, through the two inches of wood separating them. 

“Okay, I can do that. Gimme a couple minutes.” 

Rushing, he poured himself back into reasonable clothes, which for Dean meant loose jeans and a faded tee. He fastened the button of his pants and opened the bedroom door. “Leaving now. See you in the living room when you’re done.” 

 

Castiel gripped the sink, taking long, deep breaths. What the hell had just happened? He was in complete control of his body, but the words coming out of his mouth were foreign, as if he’d been in one of the scary stories he’d read about with some unnatural being taking over it’s host’s voice. The statements he’d made to Dean were unmistakably true, but he’d had no intention of confessing his love that way. He’d have done it in time, he knew he would, probably. 

“Dammit,” he said, pushing his way back into the bedroom and pulling clothes on over his mostly naked body. 

When he got to the living room, Rachel was sitting beside Dean on the couch. Castiel purposely sat in the chair on his mother’s side, not wanting to test the limits too much. He shoved his face into his hands, thinking the last thing he wanted to do was discuss his sex life, or lack there of with his mother, but their bond left him no choice. He supposed this is what he got for causing all the trauma to it in the first place. 

Payback is a bitch, they say. Castiel isn’t sure who they are but he knows that they say things like that. The room is eerily quiet, which he can understand. Neither he, nor Dean want to be the first to bring up the fact that they’d almost just had sex somewhat - unwillingly? No, just...without their own movements, and voice. 

“I think I’ve injured our bond, and now it’s seeking retribution,” Castiel offers toward his mother, hoping she could read between the lines. A man could wish, even if it was a far-fetched wish. 

When his boyfriend spoke up, it was clear that he was sensing his discomfort. Dean Winchester, always willing to slice off a piece of his heart or to offer himself up as the sacrificial lamb if it meant sparing someone he cared about. He’d learned that in the short time they’d been together. He would never be able to understand what he’d done, or what he’d ever do, to deserve someone like Dean.

“Rachel, I know this isn’t a great topic to discuss but right now you’re the most knowledgeable about the situation, so we’re hoping you might have some answers. Castiel was trying to um, comfort me after I woke up, and things were… weird. I wasn’t really in complete control of my body, and he was making confessions of things he’d never said before. I could feel that something was off and I wanted to stop it before it went even further,” he said, realizing that he was in way past being in over his head than he’d originally thought. 

It was clear that she understood what he was saying, but the look on her face said that it wasn’t something she recognized from the book. “Honestly, I’m not sure, Dean. All I can think of is that the bond is working to repair itself, or perhaps it has, and is now trying to prevent any further stress from disrupting the connection. Castiel unintentionally caused it quite a bit of damage, and I think it would want to do everything it could to keep that from happening again. The book doesn’t delve into this, only the destruction caused by actual separation of soulmates.”

Dean got lightheaded at the thought and pushed the sensation down. “Looks like I need to make a phone call.” 

When he tried to move away, he managed to get to the corner of the room before he stopped abruptly, without meaning to. He found out quickly that his body was actively preventing him from doing what he planned. “Uh, Cas? Do me a favor, stand up and take one step in my direction,” he asked, fearing that he was probably right.

Sure enough his posture became less rigid and he was allowed to move almost an entire foot of distance in the opposite direction from his mate. “I think it’s put a leash on me. My guess is that I can’t get more than about ten feet away from you, which I normally wouldn’t mind, but the uh, concern at the moment is that if we’re not allowed to be closer than a couple feet or left alone and not allowed to be further than ten. How the hell are we getting home?” 

Rachel stared in awe, as if she’d never seen anything so magnificent, and Dean, well, he could understand that. He might have too had it been someone else, but it wasn’t anyone else, it was him and Cas and it was both frustrating and terrifying. Shaking his head, Dean pulled out his phone and hit five on his speed dial. Before it rang more than once, he was settled back down into the comfortable cushions of the James’ couch with Rachel still in place between Castiel and himself. 

“Yello,” Bobby called out through the speaker. His voice was always a comfort in times of trouble, even with the gruff attitude thrown into the mix. 

“Heeeey, Bobby.” Dean tried to sound nonchalant, but that was probably the thing that gave him away.

It was.

“Ah hell, kid. What have you gotten yourself into now?” he asked. The raspy reply was frighteningly familiar. Dean had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t still back in high school. 

“I need your brain, and maybe your research skills. Uh… me and Cas are having a little hiccup with our bond.” Dean swallowed hard, hoping that neither his uncle or his mate were picking up on his nerves. It wouldn’t do either of them well to have him adding to their already peaked concern. 

Dean could hear the scratching of his beard against the phone, Bobby was fairly predictable in most cases at least. “What kind of hiccup we talkin bout?” 

“Well you know how we met. The uh bond… well it was instant, and as it turns out, Cas’ mom is like, linked back to a Greek God or something, I dunno. Anyway -” That was as far as Dean got before Bobby cut in.

“Well shit, son. Did your mommy and Daddy drop you on your head as a baby? I wasn’t always around, so I can’t be sure. Dean, I know you like to hide the fact that you’re smart, but this is taking it to extremes. You’ve been sharing your life force for over a month and you kept it to yourself this whole damn time? I thought you were smarter than that,” Bobby said, his tone mostly playful but Dean could tell that he was fairly concerned that he’d only just found out. 

“I told Mom and Dad,” he offered, hoping to climb himself out of the hole Bobby had dug for him. 

It didn’t work. 

“You know I love your parents, Dean. Hell, John might as well be actual blood to me these days, but they don’t know jack shit when it comes to soulmate bonds. Don’t you think you might have wanted to give that little nugget of knowledge to the smart one in the family?” Bobby asked, and while he made a good point, Dean could never give up the perfect opportunity when it was given to him.

“Sammy was there, I didn’t have to tell him,” Dean’s tongue flew out, licking the corner of his mouth as he smiled victoriously. He was incredibly proud of himself, very few could out-snark Bobby, and it wasn’t his first.

“Hardy, har har. You want my help or not? Better get to talkin, kid.”

Dean spent the next twenty minutes giving his uncle the rundown of what happened, slowing down only to hear a few choice curses, aggravated sighs, or the occasional, “idjit.” When he finished he was breathless and exhausted in more ways than one. He’d really wanted that nap he meant to take earlier. The fainting thing wasn’t nearly as easy as they made it look on tv.

“Best I can tell, it’s tryin to fix itself or it’s already fixed, and now it’s itchin’ to keep itself safe. Think of it as takin’ an adspace out on each of you. It’s advertising through Cas’ mouth and your… well, the rest of ya.” Dean knew that was probably what he was going to hear, it was almost exactly what Rachel had said, only more… Bobby-ish.

“Well, do ya know how to fix it? Or at least how we’re supposed to get home? No way we can be alone in a car for nine hours, not without having control over ourselves. I won’t do that to him, Bobby.” Dean bit his lip and tried to keep himself calm. He needed to be close to Cas, but he didn’t want to get too close, it was hell.

“Lemme look into it, but I’d say your life force will just adapt. It’s basically the third wheel in your relationship, only it actually enjoys it and as a bonus it wants to see you boys happily married and adopting cute little chubby cheeked orphans. I don’t want to take any chances though, so let me check into some sources,” Bobby said, his voice sounding more hopeful than Dean, but he trusted the man with his life, he’d figure out something. 

Dean hung up the phone, and shifted nervously on the couch. He rubbed the back of his neck before speaking. “Well I guess now it’s just a wait and see kinda deal.”

“I imagine so, I’ll go call the other children home. It’s nearly time to pick your father up from the hospital. I think it’s best if I leave Annael with you two while we go to the hospital. Unless you’d prefer it be Michael,” she asked, looking over at Cas. He seemed well adjusted but it could easily be just because there wasn’t really another option. Dean had been in that position before and it wasn’t fun. Hell, he was technically in it right now with Cas, and it didn't seem like this time around it would be any better.

“No, Anna is the better choice mother. I’m safe with Dean, you know this.”

At the mention of his name, Dean’s head jerked up. Oh, that’s when it hit him. Rachel had been offering Michael as a sort of stand-in body guard. He could understand, despite the way it made him want to peel his own skin off. He didn’t trust himself with Cas either, not really. 

“Are you sure, I mean, it’s okay with me if you’d rather it be your brother,” he told Cas. It was the truth, so he might as well say it. 

“Dean, I am in complete control of my mouth and I am telling you that I trust you, I love you, and Anna will be a perfectly acceptable barrier.” 

The words rang through Dean’s ears for the second time, and this time, yeah this one was different. He could feel the love coursing its way through their bond, through the connection. It wasn’t just the words it was the meaning behind them. It sent an indescribably pleasurable sensation into his chest. 

“I love you too, Cas.”

“Okay, before I follow through on feeling like I need to say I love both of you boys, I’m going to grab the phone. I can tell that this is going to be nauseating, very soon. I’ll call Anna, she will eat this up,” Rachel teased, before pressing the phone to her ear. She shook her head at both of them and chuckled lightly to herself. Dean could hear the faint giggles from Cas’ sister on the other end of the line too, but he couldn’t be bothered to feel bad about it. Not when he knew that Cas loved him, and had voluntarily said as much. He couldn’t feel bad about anything, when he had that.


	14. Chapter 14

Things weren't exactly comfortable throughout the rest of the day, but with Anna sitting there curled up into Castiel’s side, Dean couldn’t help but think of how much worse it could be. Would he rather it be him? Sure, of course, however he knew the reason he was keeping his distance and it really was what’s best for them both. After a few hours of being achingly distant, yet not far enough away, his phone rang.

 

“Yeah, Bobby. What’cha got?” he asked, not meaning to be so gruff but he really needed any answers his uncle had. Dean fidgeted nervously in his seat, trying not to focus on the floor too much but unable to bring his head up to look Cas in the eye, just in case it wasn’t good news.

 

“‘Well hello to you too, sweet stuff,” Bobby’s playful tone didn’t ease the gnawing feeling in his stomach even a little. Chewing his lip, he drew out a heavy sigh.

 

“Sorry, Bobby. You know… just kinda hoping you’d figured things out.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Well s’far as I can tell the only thing that’s really gonna fix you is the big hooplah. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you that if you’re plannin’ on headin’ back to Palo Alto anytime soon, you’re gonna be needin’ a chaperone. As it is, I think I can load up the Kansas crew and have them meet you there. Your momma and daddy should be there if nothing else, and Sam too of course.” Dean’s heart was pounding in his ears, he figured as much. He was pretty sure the only thing that came easy to him was fallin’ in love with Cas and taking care of Sammy.

 

“Well yeah, uh, Cas’ parents are gonna need to be there too. I’m not sure the ten hour drive is a good idea, maybe everyone could just come to us. I guess the introductions have to happen at some point anyway, right?” Dean laughed, a little. His nerves were showing, he could feel it. The laugh that came out was far from normal, it was strained and even he could hear the tension in his voice.

 

“Sounds good kid, I’ll gather up your folks and we’ll see you boys this weekend?” Bobby asked. Dean was never more grateful that his uncle was the type to take things in an easy stride.

 

“Yeah, I, uh, well I probably need to talk it over with Cas but that sounds good. I’ll give you a call back later if anything changes.”

 

Dean finished his call with a few more words and a quick goodbye. He finally turned his head up to glance into Cas’ eyes and was shocked to see how bright they looked. As if there was a light behind his irises, Dean briefly wondered if his own were doing the same.

 

“Uh, Cas? You okay, sweetheart?”

 

The next thing he knew he had a lapful of gorgeous boyfriend peppering kisses all over his face. Normally, Dean wouldn’t be the one to complain about the very good thing that was happening, but he was scared to death of doing something and unintentionally hurting Cas.

 

“You really want to have the ceremony here?” Cas stopped pecking his face long enough to ask the question. Dean saw the hope and excitement reflected in his features and realized he’d basically just soul-proposed or something over the phone and not even while looking at his soulmate.

 

Even if Castiel seemed okay with that, Dean wasn’t. Cas deserved the best, the most romantic thing Dean could think of, so he smiled his brightest, nodded his head, and bided his time until he could do something better. He knew the options were limited, considering he was in a strange city, with no privacy whatsoever, so surprises would be hard to pull off. Thankfully, he figured he could easily have a partner in crime if he could get Anna alone, and Rachel would be willing to chaperone again.

 

“As happy as it makes me to have you here, you’re gonna need to put some space between my lap and your very, very attractive body,” Dean whispered in Cas’ ear. Once the weight had shifted off of him, he tried not to let it’s absence cause too much of an ache. Sitting up further, he readjusted himself hoping Anna didn’t notice too much. He gave it a while before mentioning anything, trying to be as sneaky as possible.

 

Rachel came into the room, seemingly to relieve Anna of her soulmate watch duties, but it didn’t look like she wasn’t in much of a rush to leave. Dean was pretty sure that Cas' sister was his favorite sibling without even trying.

 

“I, uh, talked to my uncle, and he didn’t have anything new to say. Just that we needed the ceremony to repair what happened. I didn’t think it was a good idea to confine me and Cas to eight square feet of space inside my baby. So, uh... if you don’t mind, I thought maybe we could have it here this weekend. I’ll pay for whatever we need, I’ve got quite a bit stored up in savings -” He knew he was rambling but hadn’t realized how much until Rachel cut him off.

 

“Dean, honey calm down. It’s fine, I promise. Just take a breath.” She smiled at him, and waited to for him to inhale deeply and blow out his nervous energy, or as much of it as he could before she finished. “I’ve actually been planning for this. I mean, I didn’t know when or if it would happen for sure, but I was prepared none the less. You two will certainly be the ones making all the decisions, but I have ideas and suggestions that could be helpful.” She smiled, and despite his anxiety, Dean found it calming.

 

“You have a binder, don’t you?” Castiel asked with a smile, his eyes nearly sparkling from his seat at the other end of the couch. Dean tried to hide his own amusement, but failed miserably.

 

“Oh yes, she’s been shoving it at me for years. I think she thought I’d be the one who did the freaky match thing instead of you,” Anna teased, Rachel looking slightly peeved at the comment, leveled her daughter with a harsh glare.

 

“It’s not freaky, Dean is the reason I know how to love, know what it looks like, and if it weren’t for him, I’d still be living a dulled existence with little or no feeling at all,” Castiel said, the words flew out of his mouth and it hung open even after they were finished, clearly just as shocked as Dean was.

 

Hoping to shortcut the awkwardness, but not wanting to dismiss Cas’ feelings on the matter he smiled shyly and cleared his throat. “I love you too, sweetheart. Now, I remember something about a binder…?”

 

Rachel reassured him with every detail she rattled off about what he should expect and what they’d need. Dean was surprised to find that it didn’t actually sound much like a wedding, well none that he’d ever been to anyway.

 

“Wherever you decide to have it, you’ll need to be sitting down comfortably, because once the words are spoken and the binding is complete it will probably reenact the same things that happened during the original shift. You’ve said you blacked out, so we’ll need to be cautious about that happening again. I wouldn’t want for you to be standing up one minute and falling over the next,” she said with a small laugh. Dean found the more he knew about what to expect, the easier it was for him to accept what was happening.

 

“Okay, okay so what do you need from me?” he asked, picking up a pencil and a notepad from the coffee table where Rachel had laid out all her things. Making a mental note that he’d hold onto it a little longer than necessary to write a letter and make a list of things to give Anna and Rachel. If he wanted to make the rest of their week spectacularly special, he’d need all the help he could get.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel was incredibly excited at the idea of the ceremony for multiple reasons. The way his mother explained it, well, it was clear that it wasn’t an actual wedding or anything, but he couldn’t help but get carried away by that idea. He knew it was far too early in their relationship to really consider marriage and family concepts and things of that nature, but he felt a tingling in his chest that sent out pulsating shocks of energy, and, the more intangible, hope.

 

By testing the limits of their bond he learned that if he decided to get up and leave, that he could manage to get a little further than Dean could. Probably because he was in complete control over his body. However, the more he opened his mouth the more he managed to embarrass himself. He’d originally intended to just comment on the venues his mother suggested. They weren’t churches, or anywhere that would draw a crowd, mostly small garden areas or parks, which were really beautiful.

 

When he’d tried to say, “I think that the bridge at Lakeside Gardens is a really good place.” What came out was “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” which was also true, but not what he’d planned. He knew he didn’t hide the blush very well when he felt the heat flood his cheeks. Dean, gorgeous, amazing, wonderful Dean just smiled back at him as if he knew, and that just made everything even more perfect.

 

“So, Lakeside?” Dean asked with a smirk on his face.

 

The red tint showing on his skin might have gone a shade darker. Castiel nodded to emphasize that was what he’d meant without opening his mouth again, almost afraid of what would come out. He grabbed a pen and a small pad of paper and began writing.

 

_The bridge there looks lovely._

 

His mother smiled at him and shook her head fondly. “You were always a smart young man, Castiel. I see not much has changed since you left home.” She lifted a hand to rub his cheek with her thumb, looking at him as if it would be the last time she saw him. He couldn’t help but drop his head only a little embarrassed by his mother’s affection.

 

“Okay so Lakeside it is, Do you think we can book it so late? It’s really nice. They probably have tons of ceremonies there, or smaller weddings even.” Dean looked at Rachel, practically chewing a crack into his lip. Castiel wasn’t prepared to see what that much hope in his soulmate’s eyes.

 

“Yes, they are usually booked but I know the owner. If nothing else I know he’ll let us have it after closing hours and we can do it then. It’s even more beautiful lit up at night, with the lanterns reflected in the lake. It’s breath-taking. I didn’t want to influence your decision, so I didn’t mention it, but this was where Nathaniel and I got married. It wasn’t a binding ritual, just a standard ol’ small wedding, but it was beautiful and I knew it was the perfect start for us. I’ll admit that it makes me more than a little happy that you’ve thought the same for yourselves.” A small smile splayed on her lips. Castiel saw a small tear rolling down her cheek and reached out to swipe it away.

 

“Sorry, I know it’s silly, but a mother only gets so many of these moments in her children’s lives and I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed.” She smiled a little wider and wiped at her own eyes, “Gah, sorry, sorry, I’m done now. I promise.” She sniffed just a little and turned the page in her binder.

 

“Well you don’t have to worry about some things that you’d have for a wedding like invitations, tuxedos, or rings. But some things are similar, I’d like to get a few small flower arrangements to tie onto the railing. You’ll both need to have someone at your side, similar to a best man or bridesmaid. Anyone you care about would work, but typically it’s a familial relationship. Oh, and I don’t want to worry you, but you boys will have to venture out into the world. Both Anna, and I will come along to the ribbon store, but we can’t pick them out for you,” Dean looked as if he was about to question but she just continued, “I’ll explain it more before we leave, but right now Nathaniel needs his medicine, and you two need to talk, well talk and write about what you want. I’ll send Michael in to keep an eye on you. Annael needs to get some actual school work done instead of fawning all over her brother, no matter how adorable all of you are right now.” Rachel pointedly stared at his sister during the last statement. She’d been cooing and awing over everything. Castiel wasn’t going to lie, her presence was much more comforting than he figured Michael’s would be, but he let go of her and sent her on her way.

 

“Thank you, so much...for uh... for everything.”

 

Castiel looked at his boyfriend with a newfound fondness. He loved seeing new facets of Dean. He knew that he was always polite, sweet, kind, giving, and so many more things, but seeing the sincerity in his gaze as he spoke to his mother made his heart beat just a little faster for a minute.

 

“You’re so welcome, Dean. I can see that you’ve already been good for him. You’re going to be so great someday, I just know it. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure that you two spend the rest of your lives happy, healthy, and together.” She laid a hand on his shoulder and gave it a pat before she left the room.

 

Anna regretfully left once his brother came in the room, the warm comfort of her at his side disappeared, and he longed to be closer to Dean immediately.

 

“So, let’s plan our soul wedding, huh?” Dean smiled, and Castiel shook his head laughing at his boyfriend.  He scribbled down on the paper, sticking his tongue slightly out through the crease of his lips.

 

_If our shoes got married would it be a ...sole wedding?_

 

When Dean barked out in raucous laughter, he knew it was worth being corny. That sound, the sound of happiness floating through his ears, was what he’d missed most during their separation. His boyfriend bowled over, his shoulders shaking harshly as the gasps of joy slipped from his mouth. Causing that reaction might have been his best accomplishment to date, and he’d been the top of his class at Stanford University. Somehow it just didn’t seem to measure up.

 

“I’m gonna go call Sammy and reaffirm the plans with Uncle Bobby, Mom, and Dad. I’ll be right back, sweetheart.” Dean leaned in and left a small kiss on his forehead but it wasn’t nearly enough and he wanted to say so but clamped his mouth shut harshly. Once again feeling unsure about what would actually spill out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dean pressed the screen where his thumb hovered over Sammy’s number. He hoped he was far enough away to maintain a small amount of secrecy. Some of what he wanted to say didn’t need to be kept from Cas, but he would like there to be a few small surprises. It wouldn’t work if his boyfriend heard every word he said. Thankfully, his brother picked up after the second ring.

 

“Hello,” Sam answered, which meant he hadn’t actually taken the time to check his phone to see who was calling.

 

“Hey, Sammy. You busy?” Dean asked, nervously picking at the hem of his shirt. He paced a little at the corner of the room, just inside his ten feet margin.

 

“I got about twenty minutes until Econ, but I’m good. What’s up, man? Is Cas okay?” he asked, his voice full of concern. Dean couldn’t help the proud grin that grew on his face as he thought about how accepting his brother had been of what would have normally been a bit of a weird situation. He’d been expecting to move a halfway decent guy into their off-campus bachelor pad only to find out he was his brother’s soulmate and he’d be the inevitable third wheel for the duration of his college years, or until he moved out at least.

 

“Cas is fine. We just... we’re having some minor issues with our bond. Basically, we have to have a binding ceremony this weekend. I was hoping you could grab a one way plane ticket and hitch a ride back with us. Mom and Dad are gonna fly out with Uncle Bobby, so that’s already covered. Cas’ family are already here so it’s just you guys.” He took in a deep gasp of air, realizing that he’d almost stopped breathing entirely.

 

“I could probably just ride up with Ellen and Jo, you know they’ll want to shut the Roadhouse down and come too.” Dean officially knew that he didn’t have his wits about him when he realized that he’d left them out in the first place. It had also taken him far too long to realize he could just text Sam and tell him what he needed.

 

Shaking his head in disbelief of his own stupidity, Dean walked closer toward the couch. Once he figured out the fact that he didn’t need to keep quiet he couldn’t stop himself from moving toward Cas. The itch under his skin only settled a little, but it was better nonetheless.

 

“Oh God, don’t tell Ellen I forgot her, she’ll never forgive me. To be honest, this has been quite a bit of information to process in the last couple days so she should probably cut me some slack. She wouldn’t, but she should, so you can keep that little fact to yourself.” He wiped his hand over his forehead, unconsciously rubbing his temple.

 

Sam laughed on the other end of the phone and Dean couldn’t help but think his brother was a bit of a dick sometimes. “I’ll be sure to let her know,” he teased. Refusing to rise to the bait, he continued on to a different topic.

 

“You guys will definitely drive up then. Ellen likes planes about as much as I do, so I know you won’t be flying. I need you to bring some stuff from the apartment. Like my suit, and a couple other things I didn’t think I’d need… I’ll text you a list in a bit. Hold on a minute Cas is trying to talk to me, well… sort of,” he laughed. His boyfriend rolled his eyes and wore an unimpressed glare, but he continued to write on the paper before handing it across the full length of the couch to Dean.

 

_Do you think they would possibly have room for one more?_

 

“Yeah, man. Who you want them to bring up?” Dean said, giving him more time to write out what he wanted.

 

“Is that, Cas? How come I don’t hear him?” Sam asked, Dean let a small laugh slip out.

 

“He has to write things down, when he tries to say something it usually comes out a little differently than he planned.” Dean might have teased Cas, but he was absolutely going to keep from telling Sam that the words usually involved rainbows and glitter sprinkled all over them. Okay, well maybe he’d just text it. Dean snickered at himself, and Castiel wasn’t looking impressed.

 

_Charlie_

 

“Who’s Charlie, and why do you want him at our sort of wedding, thing?” Dean asked, okay not so smooth but he was genuinely curious. The look he got from Cas was shocking. He stared Dean down almost angrily, despite the lack of heat behind it. Huffing and rolling his eyes, Castiel passed the message over.

 

_SHE is my friend, and I’d like her to be there. Plus, she’s wanted to meet you since the beginning, and I’ve been keeping you to myself for far too long._

 

“Ellen’s awesome, and I’m sure if your friend, if uh.. Charlie wants to go that they won't mind bringing her up with them. Right, Sammy? Dean asked, gesturing a thumbs up to Cas.

 

“Yeah sure, man. No problem. Just have her text me or something and I’ll let her know when we’re leaving and she can meet us at the Roadhouse.

 

_I can do that. Thank Sam for me, please._

 

“Sammy, Cas says thanks, and I say make sure all your professors know you’ll be missing Friday classes. I’m gonna need you here as early as you can get here Friday morning. I need to check and see if my suit still fits and if it doesn’t I’ll need time to find something else.”

 

Dean wasn’t really worried about his clothes, he knew that he’d been the same size since he’d grown into his skin as a teenager. But having to have Sam there early wasn’t a lie, he needed time to finish what he wanted to do, and he was pushing a deadline as it was. It was hard to plan a super secret romantic event in less than two days, which was almost exactly the amount of time he had to do it.

 

He eventually hung up with Sam, and then called his parents. Mary screamed excitedly in his ear, and apologized for not telling Bobby for him. Dean said he didn’t blame her, and then she spent the next thirty minutes gushing over how proud she was, and how excited she was to meet Castiel. By the time he’d finished with them, Bobby, and then Ellen, well...his phone was burning and his ear was sore.

 

But he had a huge smile on his face. Dean Winchester was pretty damn sure he’d never been so happy in all his life. Even if it wasn’t a technical wedding ceremony, he’d be binding himself to Castiel in just three short days. He couldn’t think of a damn thing that could be any better than that.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I'm not usually one for major cliff-hangers, but this chapter leaves off on a very... unsatisfying note. It's not bad, life or death, or anything like that... but it is very.. unfinished. Don't hate me this is your warning. If you'd like to wait until the next chapter is finished I'll totally understand. I'll try to get it out sometime before next week but no promises. I'm really behind on my other stuff so I wanna work on it too <3

Castiel chewed his lip. Dean was acting suspicious. He’d been texting for almost an hour straight, his gaze only lifted from his phone for a few seconds at a time. Cas probably wouldn’t have noticed if Michael was any help at all in keeping him interested. Instead of actually having a conversation, his brother sat there with his nose stuck in paperwork, completely oblivious to his presence. He really missed Anna.

 

Suddenly, Dean lifted his eyes up from his phone wearing a concerned look. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

 

Of course then his brother decided to chime in. “Is something wrong, Castiel?” Leave it to Michael to only notice him if he thought there was a problem.

 

He momentarily cursed the bond and the fact that it meant he could literally hide nothing. His loneliness and miniscule despair had apparently bled into their connection, alerting Dean to his less than stellar thoughts. “I want you to pay attention to me instead of constantly being on your phone and ignoring my existence,” he huffed quickly before screaming his apology with his eyes.

 

 _I’m sorry, I’m just bored, that’s all. Sitting here staring at the wall doesn’t exactly scream excitement_.

 

Dean instantly put his phone away and looked at him, guilt written all over his features. “No, no, it’s not your fault. I wasn’t even thinking, I was just trying to make sure everything was set for this weekend. I’m sorry, I’m all yours now. Promise. What do you wanna do? Watch a movie, or maybe play a game of some kind? I’m sure we can find something to keep ourselves occupied.”

 

Castiel breathed a sigh of relief that Dean didn’t hesitate to focus his attention back on him. He knew what he’d said made him a little clingy, but with their bond so...tentative he sensed things differently than he normally would have, and he had no control of what actually came out of his mouth. So, he couldn’t be blamed for the harshness of his statement.

 

He thought about Dean’s question. Watching a movie would probably be the safest course of action, but he didn’t like the idea of not being able to curl up with his boyfriend while it played. He’d gotten so used to having Dean against him while lounging around the apartment, that watching tv or movies without him always left Castiel feeling cold and alone. He imagined it would be the same, in the current situation.

 

_No tv or movies, I’m pretty sure the only game I can play without completely embarrassing myself is Quiet Mouse._

 

“Don’t say that, I’m sure we can figure out something. Ooh I know!” Dean exclaimed, pulling the notepad closer to himself and reaching for the pen in Cas’ hand.

 

Just a couple minutes later, Dean handed it back to him. He smiled when he recognized the familiar setup. There were Tic-Tac-Toe boards scribbled all over the page. He looked up at his soulmate before closing his eyes and pushing every good emotion he could through their connection. It only took a second before he Dean’s hand was on his arm, even that small contact was like the spark that started a raging inferno.

 

Everything in him was screaming to move closer, push further, tease Dean until his body gave him what he wanted. He was craving more in ways he’d never imagined possible, the steady thrum sent vibrations out to every square inch of the skin under his soulmate’s touch.

 

Michael cleared his throat, the sound was faint to his ears. It was as if he were hearing it underwater, or most likely it was just hidden beneath the loud pounding of his heart. “Okay, I think that’s enough.”

 

His brother stood and sat down between them. An icy cold spread throughout Castiel's entire body the moment Michael pulled Dean’s hand from his arm. He tried his damndest to not whine, but it seemed his vocal chords made the noise regardless of whether his mouth was open or not.

 

He growled out his frustration and picked up the paper again.

 

_Two days of this will be torture, we should just have sex and get it over with._

_“Castiel!”_ Michael squawked at him. It seemed once his brother actually started paying attention there was no way to get him to stop.

 

He instantly regretted the note when Dean’s face soured after reading it. Dean’s fingers shook as he moved to pick up the pen, and Castiel wanted to reach out, to comfort him, but he knew it would be a mistake.

 

Dean kept the pad for quite a bit, he tried not to let his anxiety get the better of him. He hadn’t meant to be so brash or nonchalant about it, he knew that it was an important thing. But he genuinely felt as if he were being punished unfairly for not knowing what would happen when he put distance between the two of them. Now he had Dean there, which was amazing, but not being able to speak, touch, or even kiss him was just too hard. He didn’t like the separation when it started, but now he was being taunted constantly with Dean’s presence and a giant hands-off policy.

 

When he got the note back, he was shocked. Dean’s scratchy handwriting filled almost the entire page. The guilt felt heavy in his stomach as began to read over the words. Each sentence brought him a little more comfort, but it was nothing like being held in Dean’s arms. Castiel had to realize that it was as good as he was going to get.

 

* * *

 

 

_**Cas,** _

__

_**I’m sorry, I know this isn’t easy. It’s not for me either, I promise. You have to realize that this isn’t the answer though, that despite how badly I’d love to drag you off to bed and make love to you for hours, that it’s not the solution. Even if it were something you were actually ready for, I’m not. I ~~want~~ need to be able to choose what I do, to be in control of myself when we’re together. I know that the bond wouldn’t let me hurt you, but if we were to be together right now, you’d practically be making love to someone else. Yes, it’s my body, it’s … it’s our soul that would be doing it, but each individual movement, it wouldn’t be mine.** _

__

_**When we get there, when we’re ready for that… I want to break you down myself. I want each touch to be calculated and issued with my motives behind it. I don’t want it to be rushed, with a goal in mind. I wanna take my time, to tease you mercilessly until you’re begging for me. I want to fall in love with every inch of your body, to explore, cherish, worship you until neither of us can take it anymore. Moving things too quickly, certainly now, would take that away from me, and from you too.** _

__

_**I don’t want that for either of us. I know, deep down, you don’t either. We will make it through this, and we’ll get soul-married or whatever this weekend, and then we’ll climb in my baby. You’ll scoot close to me, just because you can. I’ll put my arm around your shoulders because I’ll have missed it so damn much, and because you belong there, pushed against my side. And then we’ll go home, where we can hold and kiss one another as often as we want, and when the times comes… I’ll make love to you exactly how I’ve imagined, for as long as you could possibly want.** _

__

_**Dean.** _

 

He knew Cas hadn’t meant it, but it didn’t stop the disappointed ache that had settled in his chest since he’d read the words printed neatly against the stark white background. He was relieved when his response had caused a small flush to Castiel’s cheeks and a grin to spread out his lips. Dean tried to convey the sincerity as best he could, but honestly he longed for their touch just as much as his soulmate did.

 

Castiel was in the middle of writing a reply when Rachel entered the room with a huge smile on her face.

 

“I have an idea. Feel free to shoot it down, but I want you to hear me out first. The book my mother left to me has a … potion of sorts. I’m fairly sure it doesn’t have any magical properties or anything but I don’t really have another name for what it is. A mixture maybe? Anyway it seems to be a sort of numbing agent to the bond, I’m thinking it might ease the anxiousness, and if you’re really lucky it could allow you boys to get some sleep tonight.”

 

Castiel face split open in a smile, but Dean was reluctant. They’d already done so much to alter their bond on accident, the idea of adding to that purposefully was a little hard to take in. “Does it say if there are side effects, or explain in detail what it’s actually supposed to do? I’m not sure that it’s a good idea, not with everything already so... on edge.”

 

When he finished talking he turned to see a huge amount of confusion and a little betrayal in his boyfriend’s eyes. As if Castiel couldn’t understand why in the world Dean would be worried about taking some sort of magic potion that was going to mess with their already sensitive bond. Like he should have just said, _Sure, down the hatch_ , and gone on with it.

 

“He’s right Castiel, this isn’t a decision to be made lightly. I know you’re excited to be back to normal, but there is very little information about it, and its best to think of all possible outcomes. I was only hoping to offer it up as an option,” Rachel said, pushing her way further into the room to lay hand on each of their arms.

 

He could see the disappointment flooding Cas’ features. It hurt Dean on a level he couldn’t even name, but it had to be done. The last thing either of them needed was to pour a possibly volatile mixture on top of their already fairly large pile of soul problems. With permission, he took Rachel’s hand in his and moved it to cover Cas’ arm, hoping the appearance of comfort would settle his worry, even if just a little. “Look, sweetheart. I’m not saying no, I just think maybe we should do as much research as possible before we add anything else onto whatever is going on with us. If we don’t find anything , then we don’t, but we’ll never know unless we look.”

 

Castiel looked down at the floor before fixing his gaze back onto Dean’s eyes and nodding. They needed information, so Dean called the two best researchers he knew. He gave them all the information that Rachel had, before begging for their help. Sam promised to chase down anything he could find online, while Bobby looked through his ancient books and possibly illegal artifacts.

 

“Sure thing, son. It ain’t like I just put back everything back on the shelf, or like I have anything better to do than sneeze over dusty old books all night for you. Oh, and, Dean… you’ll be buying my beer for the foreseeable future. You’re welcome,” Bobby’s voice clipped off after that, Dean knew his uncle was teasing him by the playful tone of his voice, but it didn’t wash away the nervousness at the end of the call.

 

“Just give it a few hours at least, and then we’ll try to figure out what to do before it’s time to get some sleep,” he offered, Cas nodded in agreement, even if the beautiful light behind his eyes had grown dimmer.

 

Rachel left to prepare the mixture, just in case they decided to use it. She said it wouldn’t hurt anything, and Dean figured she was probably right.

 

The waiting was some of the hardest stuff that they’d ever had to do. Their bond reaching out to each of them tugging hard in different ways. Dean inched closer and Cas had begun mumbling things through his closed mouth. Both of them were frustrated, exhausted, and ten kinds of over it. If it weren’t for Michael’s physical presence between them Dean was fairly sure he’d have already jumped Castiel, willingly or not.

 

Thankfully, only a couple hours later Bobby called him back with Sam on the line at the same time. He laid the phone down on the table and clicked the speaker button, wanting to make sure Cas was included.

 

“Figured we might as well get this over with, quick and easy like.” Bobby started, but was cut off in Sam’s rush of information.

 

“So get this. From what I’ve gathered, the thing that Rachel mentioned works like an old-school anesthetic. It has the same properties and even some of the same ingredients as Valerian. Basically, it would be like sticking a needle of novocain directly into your bond and numbing it,” Sam paused long enough for Dean’s heartbeat to skyrocket with worry. “I mean, it doesn’t say anything about side effects, but I would imagine there’s at least the general stuff, and possibly more considering you’re numbing something so temperamental, and well...alive.”

 

_Great, just what he needed._

 

“Okay, I guess that’s what I expected. How about you, Bobby, what did you come up with?” Dean’s hands wrung tighter in his lap.

 

“Well for starters, I came up with the fact that you idjits should always let me go first. Wisdom before Age, should be the new tradition,” he said. His gruff voice oddly more comforting than Sam’s, probably because he could hear his brother’s worry through the phone.

 

“Bobby,” Dean said. His voice a little strained from the amount of energy they were expending on not jumping one another.

 

“Yeah, yeah I know. Get on with it, right? Well looks like it’s the best shot you boys have, and doesn’t _that_ sound reassuring. But, Dean. The truth is we won’t know exactly what will happen until it does. If it makes you feel better, you don’t have any other options. If you don’t try it, my sources say the audience card only works for so long. Eventually, neither of you will be able to control it.”

 

Castiel passed him a note that just said one word.

 

_Please_

 

“Okay, I guess it looks like we’re gonna try it then. I mean, it’s better than letting it go, right?” He chewed at his lip some more and rubbed his hands against the rough denim of his jeans. _Having things go the way I wanted would have been too much of a shock_ , he told himself.

 

“Oh, and, Dean, one more thing before I go. You should know that the uh… the kind of bond you have is something. I don’t mean, ‘ooh isn’t that a shiny rock,’ as much as, say, it’s only happened a handful of recorded times. That’s why information was so difficult to find. Not because there hasn’t been any research done on bonds, but that this particular situation is unprecedented,” Bobby coughed a little, and cleared his throat. “The only ones I could find that had this kind of, intensity were people like Justinian and Theodora, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, and the more commonly known Cleopatra and Marc Antony.”

 

“What?” Dean asked, his head jerking back in disbelief. His eyes instantly flicked toward his mate to find Castiel was just a surprised as he’d been.

 

“Yeah, I mean, it does look like it follows a family line, meaning they’re in-part related to your, to Castiel. I just thought you should know. This doesn’t happen every day. Do what you need to preserve the bond. I know you’re worried, son, but if nothing else take comfort in the fact that yours should at some point become one of the most celebrated bonds ever formed.”

 

“Thanks, Bobby. You too, Sammy. I’m gonna get off here and let Rachel know we’re ready to try whatever she put together. I’ll text or call when we figure out what happens.” Dean rubbed his neck nervously as they finished the rest of their goodbye.

 

Dean really didn’t want to try anything that would screw with their bond even further, but it would be better than him losing the battle with his own damn body and basically forcing himself on Cas. So, like Bobby said, he really didn’t have any options.

 

* * *

 

Rachel came back into the room with the mixture in-hand, before politely sending Michael away and taking his place. All his hope was apparently contained in a clear glass vial, plugged with a cork lid. Castiel wanted to try it purely for the relief of not having to fight against himself, he knew it was a losing battle. He could easily see how Dean had it worse than he did, but it wasn’t easy for either of them.

 

“Okay, from what I’ve read, you need to split this between the two of you, and then, well then you have to kiss. The effects should last around twelve hours.” Rachel said giving an understanding look to both of them.

 

“Wait, so you’re telling me this requires physical contact. You do realize if it doesn’t work, it will be hard as hell to stop the kiss, probably impossible.” Dean’s eyes flicked between Cas and his mother before focusing his gaze intently on Castiel.

 

“I do,” his mother replied as he picked up the pen and began writing again.

 

_We won’t be able to hold out forever, Dean. This is the only chance we have to control it. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work and the bond will do what it needs to protect itself. If it does work, we can get some sleep and then talk it out tomorrow._

 

Every single thing I have said has been true, whether I meant to say it or not. But just, If it doesn’t work and we… bond, I want you to know that it's okay. I’m okay with it. I’d rather this happen and solidify my bond with you, than for there to be any more damage because we weren’t emotionally ready. I want you to promise me you won’t have a problem with it, and that you won’t blame yourself if your body does things you didn’t intend for it to do.

 

They might not have been together too long, but Castiel knew that Dean would take responsibility for it all and blame himself if anything went wrong. He wanted to make sure that it wasn’t going to cause more problems than they could handle if it didn’t work.

 

Rachel cleared her throat, trying to get their attention after Dean read his note. “You are welcome to umm… test this in Castiel’s room, but if you’d like I could have Michael take you to a really nice hotel just a few minutes away. I’ve uh… bond mating can be pretty intense, and if nothing else it would be a good idea to be prepared.

 

_Hotel_

 

Castiel slips the paper quickly over to Dean. Not having control over his vocal chords could turn out to be mortifying in several different ways. Dean agreed and then suggested they pack a small bag for both of them. His mother called out for Michael and he returned to escort them to Cas’ room where they could grab a couple things before leaving.

 

Once he’s in the front seat of Michael’s SUV, he feels a little anxiety bleeding through the bond. It isn’t as if he doesn’t have enough of his own, but there is something different about it. Castiel turns around to see Dean’s cheeks redden a little. He gives a questioning look, hoping to convey his concern.

 

Dean cleared his throat awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, Michael. I’m just gonna apologize in advance but it really needs to be said. Do you think you could stop somewhere for supplies.”

 

It took a couple seconds for his brother to understand, and a couple more for Castiel to be clued in, but eventually they’d worked it out.

 

“Yes, I’ll go inside the pharmacy, but you’ll have to put as much distance between yourselves as possible. I suggest that Castiel steps outside and I’ll be sure to hurry.”

 

Cas nodded, wanting to say thank you to Michael but not being courageous enough to open his mouth. Instead he patted his brother’s shoulder gently and figured that would have to do.

 

They managed to make it through through the awkwardness of Michael buying him a variety of condoms, lube, and apparently snacks. He’d have never thought of food or drinks, because his mind was far too focused on the other things. Castiel knew he should be more than a little grateful that his brother had thought it out, even if it made him shiver.

 

What seemed like an eternity, which was in all actuality only twenty minutes, of being pent up inside the car, they pulled into the hotel parking lot. Dean grabbed their overnight bag and the mixture, Castiel carried the rest. Michael walked in ahead of them, just by a little. He got to the front desk first and booked the room despite Dean’s small but disgruntled arguments.

 

“Dean, I know you want to take care of him and you will, but let me do this one last thing before he’s completely yours,” Michael said, handing over his debit card to the teller.

 

Castiel was a little shocked, he knew that his brother was supposed to loved him, but tthis was something new. For Michael to do this for him, not out of obligation, but because he wanted to made him smile. If he could have talked he would have told him that, while he would rather not be referred to as property, it was a very nice gesture and that he appreciated it.

 

That had apparently stopped Dean’s rejection, and he resigned himself to the situation. Michael walked them both to their room and opened the door. It was a gorgeous suite and Castiel could almost hear the argumentative words resurfacing on Dean’s lips, but his brother didn’t give him much time to say anything before stepping back out into the hall.

 

Dean backed away immediately, the door closing must have made him realize just how close they’d been standing.

 

“Okay, this is what we’re gonna do. Well, if we can at least. You should go into the bathroom with the uh.. stuff. I’d love to be able to help you in there but I think that would be counter productive. I’m not sure what my body will uh… allow for. So I’m going to have to talk you through what to do, and you’re going to have to do it yourself, Cas. I’m so sorry,” He could hear the remorse already filling Dean’s voice and he hated it. He hoped the stupid stuff worked, if not he wasn’t sure his boyfriend would be able to forgive himself.

 

Cas tried to convey as much certainty and as little anxiety as he could in a simple nod of his head.

 

“I’m going to uh.. I’m going to get mostly undressed out here and climb into bed. Once you’re done, we’ll drink this shit, kiss, and see what happens, I guess.” Dean’s voice shook and Castiel could feel a wave of anxiety pushing through their connection.

 

“Is that okay?” Dean asked.

 

Castiel nodded again and took the time to give his boyfriend a quick, playful wink and a smirk. He could do this. Only one of them could freak out at a time and it was Dean’s turn. He dropped the snack bag onto the table and fished out a tube of lubricant and pushed his way toward the bathroom.

 

“First rule, lock the door. Second rule, if it hurts at all… just stop. I don’t want you suffering through the pain to get to the pleasure. Third rule, you don’t come out of that room until you feel safe and ready. I know you can’t talk right now so we’re going on the knock system. One for yes two for no, Understand?”Dean asked, even through the door Castiel could hear him pacing outside.

 

He smacked once against the countertop.

 

“Okay, are you ready to start?”

 

 _It’s now or never_ , he thinks to himself as he hits the marble one more time.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pure unadulterated smut, there is like absolutely no reason whatsoever that you couldn't skip over this if you wanted... but I suggest you not, I mean... I did kinda write it just for you guys.
> 
> A special thank you to @ANobleCompanion who never ceases to surprise me, and is constantly making me a better writer <3 Love you!!

 

“Are you ready now, sweetheart?” Dean asked, relieved that he could feel most of what Cas went through in their bond. He’d been able to pick up the slight twinge of pain that happened just two times. Thankfully, neither of which had lasted too long. The overwhelming pleasure had also leaked through and made his knees go weak. It was then that he crawled into bed and slid beneath the comforter.

 

He heard the loud kick against the ceramic jacuzzi tub, which Cas had taken to abusing with his feet once his hands had become more occupied. Dean's heart ticked faster, knowing it would just be a few seconds before he’d need to exhibit more restraint than he’d actually had access to recently. He pulled the mixture from the nightstand, as he heard the door creaking open.

 

“I’ll try to close my eyes, just walk around the bed and climb in,” he said, wanting to give his boyfriend as much privacy as he could. He threw his arm over his face, luckily it stayed there and let him keep the image of a very naked Castiel out of his mind.

 

The dip in the mattress made him sigh in relief, the cover stretching tighter around his side and a small snap of fingers. His eyes flicked open instantly, taking in the sight of Cas’ wide smile. It was reassuring, to know that no matter what happened his boyfriend wouldn’t blame him. It was more than Dean could say for himself, but it was good to know that at the very least it seemed Cas would still love him.

 

Without saying anything, Dean downed half the mixture and passed it over to Cas who silently did the same. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever tasted, but it sure as hell wasn’t the best either.

 

Waiting, would only have put him more on edge, so he threw caution to the wind. Letting out a sigh, Dean latched onto Cas’ lips and pulled. Deepening their kiss quickly, just in case there were any kind of specifications that needed to be met.

 

“God, I’ve missed that,” was the first thing out of his mouth when he’d broke the kiss. His body was tingling, as if it were just a limb falling asleep. Dean pushed against his throat, it too was numb. “Well it seems like I’ve got at least some control. I’m not sure how much though.”

 

Cas opened his mouth, nothing came out. Dean’s eyes went wide with panic. “Oh, God. Are you okay?” He was freaking out. What if whatever they’d done made it impossible for Cas to talk, what if it lasted - what if it lasted longer than twelve hours? Dean was just about to throw himself into a full blown attack when he heard the deep rumble of his boyfriend’s voice.

 

“NO, it’s fine. I was just thankful to not be forced to say anything with my mouth opened. I’m so sorry, Dean. I should have said something first,” his voice slurred just a little over the first few words. Castiel’s eyes pleaded with him, but the relief that flooded through him was enough to distract him from being even remotely angry.

 

“Holy, crap. You scared me to death,” he said, chuckling. Testing each limb, and finding they all moved, just at a slower rate than normal. He realized that if he got up to leave he’d probably look like an old-school zombie or something.

 

“I have missed you, I’ve missed this,” Cas replied, before crashing their mouths together again. The familiar hum beneath his skin as his boyfriend tugged at his lower lip and sucked it in. He let out a harsh moan because it was fucking fantastic to have Castiel that close to him and not be freaking out thinking he might do something he didn’t want.

 

Dean tried not to swallow his tongue when Cas’ lean, naked hips straddled him. “Baby, not that I’m really complaining here, but what are you doing?” he asked, his brows drawing up his forehead until he could feel the wrinkles.

 

“I know that we’re not, you know.. prepared for everything but I thought there might be something that we could be ready to do. I, uh, that note you wrote me back, it made a lot of sense. It was also very, enticing. I just… “ Cas broke off, he could tell that he was thinking over his words. Dean also felt the nervousness subside, but he wasn’t sure if that was Cas being more confident or their bond still in the process of numbing. “I think that we should discuss maybe a mutually satisfactory experience whatever that might be. If you want, I can go back to the bathroom and we can do what we’d planned at home before all this mess started.

 

Dean took his time thinking it over. It wasn’t a smart choice, not really. It was just as likely to restart the actions of their bond as it was to ease it’s pull. He bit at his lip and realized he was being completely ridiculous. Was it possible that something would end up fucking him over if he went for it? YES. Did that mean that he should reject his very perfect, loving, amazing boyfriend who was not only willing but eager to further their relationship, and by his own choice? NO.

 

He knew Cas, and that he’d thought it through too. That he’d weighed the possible outcomes and still wanted more to happen between them.

 

“Stay right where you are, but I should warn you that I’m not as coordinated as I normally would be, so if I fumble a bit it’s probably because I feel numb everywhere.” Dean laughed, moving his hands slowly up to Cas’ hips, and clutching onto them tightly.

 

“That’s okay, I’ve never done anything like this before, so it seems like we’ll both be fumbling a little.” Cas took a quick breath before looking up at Dean with that perfect smile on his face. The small one, the private one, reserved for only him. “What would you like, what are you ready for?”

 

Dean nearly choked on air as Castiel rolled his hips, grinding down on his already filled dick. Everything was magnified with only the thin layer of his cotton boxers between them as the plush, full cheeks of his boyfriend’s ass split open against the hard outline of his cock.

 

“Fuck, Cas. Keep doing that and I won’t have time to make a decision,” he smiled, canting his hips upward. The fact that they moved a little slower than he’d planned worked out even better. The delicious drag of his dick into the cleft of Cas’ ass lasted even longer, drawing out a loud, obscene moan from both of their mouths.

 

The tremor that spasmed in Castiel’s body was so intense that he could feel it splitting through his boyfriend’s body. The vibrations caused Dean’s head to fall slack against the bed, and his mouth open wide. “Fuck, I wanted to be better for you, I… shhhhit… I spent so much time thinking about exactly how I would take you apart that I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have time for it all if we never left this room.”

 

Castiel let out a small, but playful huff as he continued to grind their bodies together. Dean tried to control himself as Cas’ hips had gotten progressively more uncoordinated as he searched for more. The inexperienced movements weren’t enough to distract him from the fact that his very gorgeous boyfriend was naked and writhing on top of him.

 

Okay, I uhh... I can’t do much to change our position but, I think I can help give you what you’re looking for. C’mere,” he said, trying hard not to mimic Cas’ whine when his hips stopped moving and he began to crawl up the bed. He reminded himself that he would have to make sure that it happened again, and very soon. The image of his soulmate coming toward him, naked, wanting, and wearing a predatory grin was enough to cause the tip of Dean’s cock to slip out from under the waistband of his boxers.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel was pretty sure he knew what Dean wanted, and a familiar twitch of his dick showed his enthusiasm at the thought of it. He’d never done anything before so he was mostly fumbling his way through it, but he knew that his soulmate felt just as good as he did. Dean’s cock rubbing between his cheeks was the most erotic thing he’d ever experienced. Even with the layer of cotton between them he’d been able to feel how long, thick, and hard it was for him. That was enough to make his body quiver with pride and another wave of ecstasy to ripple through him.

 

When he crawled forward until he was straddling Dean’s face instead, his breath hitched. He had to swallow hard to keep from saying something. Castiel wasn’t scared that he was going to make any kind of embarrassing declarations of love or anything, he’d just never done anything and wasn’t sure what to say. Dirty talk was something he’d just have to pick up from Dean, God knows his mouth was sinful enough on any given day.

 

Dean’s fingers clenched around his thighs before he slowly scooted himself up enough for his head to be securely pressed against the headboard of the bed. That was enough to draw out a sound from his throat, he had no idea what it was but Dean looked pleased with it. Cas braced his arms on the top of the headboard as he prepared for whatever his soulmate was about to say or do.

 

“My throat is still a little numb, so this will be interesting. Just let my hands guide your hips until I’m ready to take all of you. I’ll gently tap you when it’s okay to start thrusting. You ready?” he asked, making Castiel take a minute to think about it. He was more than a little excited, so he nodded quickly.

 

“I’m gonna need an actual verbal confirmation, sweetheart. I don’t want to do anything you aren’t ready for. This can wait if you’d like, I won’t mind, promise.” The sincerity pouring out of Dean’s eyes nearly made him gasp. Instead he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“I’m ready, if it’s okay.. if this is something you want too, I can think of nothing better than feeling your mouth on me.” The pure joy that sparked through him when he realize that the words coming out of his mouth were the same as he’d intended them to be, would never get old. At least, not for a while.

 

Dean smiled up at him and for a moment Castiel thought his eyes were glowing. The small black pupils grew wider as his soulmate licked his lips. He didn’t have a mirror but he didn’t realize that he didn’t need one to know that his would look the same. Mimicking the gesture, he swiped his tongue across his lower lip and sucked it into his mouth.

 

Unwilling to draw his eyes away Cas watched as Dean flicked his tongue against the leaking tip. That might have been a mistake, because he knew he was edging dangerously close to an orgasm. Calloused fingers wrapped around him and he couldn’t help but thrust into the tight grip. He moaned at how good it was to have someone else’s hand on his dick for the first time, the knowledge that it was Dean only made it even more electrifying.

 

He could feel a light sheen of sweat building on his skin as his hips became more frantic. The hand Dean had on his hip clenched a little harder, stilling him. That was when the first delicious drag of a hot wet tongue up the entire length of his throbbing cock sent a shattering pulse of excitement through him. Castiel swallowed hard, his chest heaved faster as his breath came out in heated pants.

 

He bit his lip to keep from calling out for Dean, when the hot wet suck of Dean’s lips drew him in. Testing himself by glancing down to take in the image was the best and worst thing he could have done. His cock slipping past the puffed out seam of his soulmates lips for the first time was a picutre that he would not soon forget. His fingers curled tighter, nearly clawing at the wooden ledge of the headboard.

 

Castiel's hips began to shudder as Dean pushed himself further. The hot wet saliva dripped down his aching dick, coating it generously. Some of the excess had even drizzled further toward his tightened sac. An audible plea tore its way out of his throat as his cock dipped into Dean’s throat. The tight squeeze was just what he needed. His heart was pounding so loudly in his ear that he nearly missed the tap that his soulmate landed on the back of his thigh.

 

He tried to hard to push down his nervousness and focus his attention to the beautiful sight of Dean’s mouth stretched wide around him. Experimentally he shifted his hips into the tight, wet, heat. Feeling a small drag of the roughest part of his soulmate’s tongue sliding against him, he growled out his appreciation.

 

A harsh Dean, came out strained and raspy as he delved deeper. He could barely keep enough control not to piston his hips harshly toward the glorious ecstasy that was his boyfriend’s mouth. Castiel briefly entertained the idea of grabbing onto Dean’s hair and pulling on it as he plunged inside, but was afraid of how rough he would possibly be in a moment so heated, he’d lost functional thought.

 

Feeling like his entire body was on fire and his mind almost numb from the pleasure alone, he moved at a faster pace. His muscles were tensing up and he could feel his orgasm quickly approaching.

 

“Can’t last, gonna...Deaaaan.” Castiel prepared himself for Dean to pull off and finish him with a hand or something, but instead his boyfriend just speared his throat down and swallowed around him. The clenching squeeze was all it took for him to spill harshly into his soulmate’s mouth. He’d nearly passed out from the intensity, the potential embarrassment only an afterthought.

 

Unable to form actual words Castiel found himself mumbling curses he’d never spoken aloud.

* * *

 

 

Dean’s smile was impossibly wide, and he was completely unapologetic about it. He loved the raw, electric energy that had rocketed through his veins when the hot strings shot into his throat. His cock was hard and begging for attention, but he found himself perfectly content without it, which had never happened before. Dean didn’t even bother to attempt movement, happily holding onto the flesh of Cas’ thighs as the tremors continued to pulse through his legs, even after the orgasm.

 

Eventually, he eased his grip and let Castiel slide down a little until his weight was shifted onto Dean’s abdomen instead of holding himself up by his knees. Relishing the opportunity to take in all the smaller details of his boyfriend’s body, Dean’s fingertips map out trails along every available inch of skin.

 

Which made it easy for Cas to take him completely by surprise when he’d arched his back and reached behind himself to push his hand into Dean’s boxers. He gasped loudly, feeling the shocking pulses begin to pick back up immediately. Castiel’s hand on him was a magnet drawing them in, his cock twitching wildly under the heavy assault on his senses.

 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck,” was the only word Dean could manage to form with limited brain power. He canted his hips up toward Cas’ grip, but they didn’t move. The weight of his soulmate on top of him and his already slow responses left him wanting for more. “I, I need.”

 

“What do you need, Dean? Tell me what you want.” Castiel’s voice rang low and breathy against his ear causing a shiver to spiral down his spine.

 

“More,” he begged, his hands winding the sheets tightly around them securing his harsh grip. He was close, much closer than Castiel had been after so little attention. Dean couldn’t help but remind himself just how wound up he’d gotten taking Cas in his mouth and feeling the heavy weight against his tongue. Pleasing his soulmate was one of the sexiest things he’d ever be able to do. Witnessing the sheer ecstasy he’d pulled out of his boyfriend had led to his own arousal peaking dramatically at the edge of orgasm.

 

Thinking about the sounds his soulmate had let out, however few, nearly had him at the edge of orgasm again. When he felt the harsh scrape of Cas’ nails against his thigh, a loud scream punched out of his mouth and his vision went white with pleasure. “Caaaas.”

 

It took a few minutes for Dean to right himself, the air in his lungs was thin and fleeting. The hot gasps he’d taken didn’t do much to ease it down. It wasn’t until Castiel had pushed up, laid down beside him, and pulled him into a tight embrace, that he’d been able to catch a full breath.

 

Dean could think of nothing better than kissing his boyfriend silly while he had the chance, before they both fell asleep. He leaned in, tentatively, unsure of what Cas would actually want. But he was met with pliant lips and a huge, almost blinding smile. The emotions of their entire day had overwhelmed them both and he knew Castiel would be tired too. So he didn’t linger, but he did whisper “I love you,” against the chapped pink lips.

 

He heard a soft hum of contentment before an even quieter “I love you too, Dean.”

  
Digging himself further into the bedding and the feel of Cas’ body against his own, he let his eyelids fall shut. The darkness and the sound of his soulmate breathing lulled him to sleep. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, just wanna say real quick that there are a couple things toward the end that have not yet been beta'd because my lovely angel went through it and reminded me of something so I had to change it last minute. Any mistakes down there are totally mine and she's a lovely human being who puts up with my craziness so... you should thank @ANobleCompanion for making this readable!! xoxox

They’d each woken up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and put some of their clothes back on. Dean was grateful that his body wasn’t as numb or slow as it had been, and he was still in control. He knew it wouldn’t last forever, but the chances of them surviving at least somewhat comfortably, until they could have their binding ceremony looked better.

 

When morning came they both were a little dizzy, but were curled up together in mutual bliss. Castiel snuggled closer and Dean couldn’t help it when the smile on his face widened. His soulmate was practically purring in his arms. He was completely unable to remember a time when he’d been more content. “Mornin’, sweetheart.”

 

“Nooo. Sleep,” Cas replied, inching his face closer, burrowing his nose into the side of Dean’s neck.

 

Dean’s chest rumbled with laughter, which didn’t seem to phase his boyfriend at all. If anything, it only added to his grumpiness. “As much as I’d love to stay here with you, we need to call your mom, and have her make some more bond mojo.”

 

Castiel grumbled but finally blinked himself awake, even if it seemed like he wanted to curse the sun shining into the room. He wiped at the corner of his open lids and sat up just a little. Dean couldn’t help the fact that his chest tightened just a little when he took in just how gorgeous his soulmate was. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, reveling in the pure contented happiness they shared.

 

“Just think, two more days and we’ll be bound to one another. You’ll never get rid of me then,” he teased. The thought of having Cas to himself only enhanced the buzzing excitement under his skin. Dean was a little more daring, his finger trailing lines down his soulmate’s torso, dipping into the divots sculpted onto Castiel’s perfect hips.

 

“Are you...nervous?” his boyfriend asked, dragging his lower lip between his teeth as sign of uneasiness.

 

“Not really, but it’s okay if you are. I mean I’d understand, it’s not exactly like we’ve been dating for very long. I just, I just think it feels right,” Dean paused, cutting himself off to stop the embarrassment he knew would happen if he continued to rave about how good it was to have found his soulmate, his love, his reason. “Sorry, I’m not really good with the...uh,” he finished, adding a gesture to encompass the general vicinity between them.

 

“I know that’s not true, but I think I know what you mean. It feels really good to have full control over my words, so I’ll take this time to exercise it in a way I’ve not yet,” Cas began, breathing out a small puff of air against his chest. “Dean, do you remember the first time we skyped with your parents, and how I asked for a minute alone with them?”

 

Dean took in the words, nodding happily. If he were honest with himself, he’d found it just a little weird considering they hadn’t known one another very long, but not enough for it to have really bothered him.

 

“The reason...I just...I needed to thank them. You have no idea what kind of an impact both you and Sam had on me, even in those few short days. The truth is, I’ve been dreading this for so many years, it’s almost compulsively negative in my mind.”

 

Dean’s heart rate skyrocketed and he began to feel his lungs closing, until Castiel’s mouth surged against his and brought him back to the moment.

 

“Nooo, no,” he mumbled against Dean’s lips. “I love you, and that isn’t going to change. What I’m trying to say is… I’ve been told all my life, that only the worst kind of person would get saddled with me. That even if by some magical coincidence I ended up with someone decent, that they’d only be disappointed by having the shade of their eyes mixed with my dark blue.” Castiel curled tighter into his chest until Dean couldn’t see his face anymore. His arms curled tighter around his soulmate instinctively, trying to let the touch comfort him.

 

“It became a sore spot for me, and I put it as far back in my mind as I could manage. It wasn’t easy but things seemed to get a little better when I started college. I kept my head down, didn’t really speak to anyone or anything, and for the most part, people left me alone,” he said, making a small sniff before he continued. “Charlie, she was the first person who ever spoke to me without a reason, and even then I was suspicious. I only responded to what she said, never speaking first or asking my own questions. Sometimes I still wonder why she didn’t give up on me.”

 

Not really sure about what he should say or do, Dean just carded his fingers through Castiel’s hair, leaving a few small kisses against his temple. “You deserved to have a friend, sweetheart. Honestly, you should have anything you want. You’re worth a helluva lot more than that,” he said, making sure to leave the _more than me_ , off the end of his statement.

 

“Did you know, I was incredibly anxious about trying to find different housing? I mean, looking back on it, I was kind of that way with everything, but more so with the idea of living with strangers, or even interviewing with them. I’m pretty sure if it hadn’t been for the surprising amount of courage I found to speak to Sam that day, I’d have been stuck with the pot-smoking lunatic all year.”

 

Dean let himself chuckle with the the shake in Cas’ shoulders spurring him on. It wasn’t until they shared that laugh that his boyfriend finally sat up, staring deeply into his eyes.

 

“There’s so much I had to thank them for. Your parents have raised two of the most influential people in my life and I needed to tell them what it meant to me. How having Sam, and then you accept me unconditionally changed my life completely,” Cas finished, ghosting his fingers in random patterns against the naked flesh of Dean’s chest.

 

Unable to reign in his emotions, Dean leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend. He knew that if he’d attempted to share his thoughts or feelings,  it would have been a disaster. Everything was swirling in his mind, so it wasn’t exactly clear to him anyway. Instead, deepening the kiss, he tried to convey everything he’d felt for his soulmate since the moment they’d met.

 

* * *

 

 

Their bond surged, flooding with an euphoric heat and nearly sparking out of his chest. Castiel groaned against Dean’s lips as the shock waves followed the currents beneath his skin. The feeling was overwhelming enough to cause his limbs to tremble. He wasn’t sure he could ever feel more appreciated, wanted, or loved.

 

Regretfully, they actually had things that needed to be done. So, he reluctantly pulled away and fought the smile when Dean automatically chased his lips. “I’m hungry, and we need to call mother before the potion wears off.”

 

It seemed his admission was mostly unnecessary when he heard the loud growl of Dean’s stomach. Castiel laughed a little before pushing himself out of the bed and grabbing the snacks Michael had bought for them. It wasn’t exactly a fine dining experience, but it would sate his appetite until he could get his hands on something a little more substantial.

 

Cas called Rachel, and explained in as little detail as possible that it had worked and that they needed a ride back to the house soon as well as few more mixtures. Gathering up his things and putting them back into the bag there was a small tingle that spread through his shoulders. He shrugged, thinking it was probably nothing and continued on. “Hey, Dean. Have you seen my..?”

 

“Toothbrush?” he asked, holding up the missing object. If he’d not been distracted by the most adorable cocky smirk, he’d have rolled his eyes.

 

“Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of our lives? You hiding my toiletries so you can give them back to me with unattractive amounts of ego?” he asked, raising his brow until his lips drew out and betrayed him with a wide smile.

 

“Why, you reconsidering? Maybe wanna try your luck at a “just say no to bonds” rally?” He teased, until his body moved forward automatically and pushed their lips together. He could feel Dean trying to pull away but apparently for a _super intelligent life-force_ , their bond had absolutely no sense of humor.

 

Castiel chuckled against his mate’s mouth before deepening the kiss briefly, hoping to satisfy their link. Thankfully, it seemed to work long enough for them to loosen the grip and back away from one another.

 

“Remind me not to make any more jokes until after the ceremony.” Castiel could see the almost painful turn in his boyfriend’s gaze and it made him sick.

 

He’d had enough.

 

“Dean, for the last time. Let me make this clear, if it wasn’t already. I love you, kissing you is never an inconvenience, even if it isn’t technically your mind that initiates it. If something were to happen, completely out of your control, and we bind ourselves together before the ceremony, then I won’t be upset,” he paused, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes before continuing. “To be honest, I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. I mean I would like for it to be you, and not something controlling you. I also wouldn’t mind if we waited, the romantic side of dating you has been wonderful and I’m sure when it happens the physical side will be just as great.”

 

“But, Cas…” He put his fingers up to his boyfriend’s lips, not wanting to hear any more negatives about what he’d think of himself if it were to happen.

 

Instead he leaned closer, pushed their foreheads together. He bit his lip before looking up and locking their eyes. “I guess what I’m saying is, that no matter what I’m okay with our bond doing what it needs to keep itself safe because I can’t imagine living the rest of my life without you. So if that means that one side of our relationship progresses a little faster than I’d imagined, well, that just means we get a headstart.”

 

Relief settled into Castiel's shoulders, Dean’s emotions were clear as day through the connection they shared and for that he was grateful. Not everyone got a metaphorical mood ring for their partner. It was a pain in the ass sometimes, but being able to be physically empathic for your mate was an amazing gift.

 

Before long they’d finished their packing and cleaned up what little mess they’d made. He was just about to pick up the phone again before a loud knock cracked against the door. Castiel rushed to answer expecting his mother, when instead he was met with a much different sight.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hello, come in. Dean’s still packing.”

 

Dean couldn’t help from chuckling at the way his boyfriend said things sometimes. It was as if there were two different sides to him. One, refined, sophisticated, and never failed to sound like he’d just graduated the school of proper etiquette. The other, loosened up, relaxed, and much more casual. To be honest, Dean wasn’t sure which one he liked better.

 

After he finished packing everything from the bathroom back into their overnight bag he stepped back into the main room. It was then, that he remembered he’d taken his boyfriend’s toothbrush and didn’t want to leave it behind.

 

“Cas, I got the bag did you get your toot- Sammy?” Dean’s face felt like it was breaking in half due to the wide grin filling out his cheeks.

 

“Hey, man.” His brother smiled, moving further into the room.

 

“You’re here early, how’d you get out of classes? Where’s Ellen, Jo, and uh... Charlie?” He asked, slipping effortlessly into big brother mode. Wanting to make sure he’d not given up too much just to be there in advance.

 

“Dude, you didn’t think I was gonna miss your wedding, right?” Sam teased, pulling him into a tight hug.

 

“It’s not a wedding, Sasquatch.” Dean’s arm reached up to rub harshly against the far too long hairs on his brother’s head. He fought down the heat that was climbing up the back of his neck, he didn’t want to blush in front of Castiel, certainly not over something as stupid as their binding being called a wedding.

 

“Same thing. Anyway, yeah we all decided to come up early. Ellen and the girls are reserving rooms for everyone. Mom, Dad, and Bobby will be here tomorrow. We didn’t want to miss any of it, Charlie included.” An overwhelming sense of joy rushed through him; he couldn’t tell exactly how much of it was his own, but he wasn’t complaining. If Castiel was happy, he was happy.

 

“Ah man, you guys didn’t have to do that,” he said, playfully pushing his shoulder against Sam’s side which caused him to sway just a little.

 

“Well I wasn’t sure we’d be able to. I didn’t want to ask Charlie to give up an extra day of classes, but when she said that her schedule was clear on Thursday’s I thought, why not? So we started driving last night and here we are.”

 

“Charlie has three classes on Thursday…” Cas said, looking confused toward Sam. Dean was pretty sure he liked the girl already and he hadn’t even met her.

 

His brother just smiled and shrugged, as if he couldn’t possibly figure out the mystery of Charlie wanting to give up her schedule in the same way he had. There were some things that Castiel would have to just figure out on his own.

 

There was a small pang of sadness in Dean's chest at the thought that his boyfriend didn’t automatically draw the same conclusion that they had. It was almost like he just couldn’t imagine someone caring about him. No matter how much the guy valued education, putting himself lower on the scale than two days of missed classes was just unbelievable. Dean had never wanted to change someone, never wanted to be the kind of person who dated, or mated with someone he thought he needed to change, but he hoped with all his might that Cas would eventually learn his worth and therefore change his automatic response to self-loathing. Hell, he kind of even hoped for a little less of his own someday.

 

“You ready to go? We’re all going out for a late breakfast if you think you can keep your hands to yourself,” his brother said with a smirk, drawing him back into the moment.

 

“I make no promises,” Dean answered, wrapping his arms around Cas’ waist and leaning in. The show was mostly just to make Sam’s smug face twist into an uncomfortable _too far_ gesture, but it was right to have his soulmate in his arms.

 

Dean carried their bag down the stairs and checked his watch. Their bond mojo was supposed to work for twelve hours, once he did the math he realized they didn’t have long enough left on the very hypothetical timer. They didn’t know enough about it to be sure that it would last the entire expected time.

 

“We’re not going to be able to go to breakfast,” he blurted aloud, in a very manly and not at all whiney voice, no matter what Sam said.

 

Cas looked at him, confused until he realized what Dean had already figured out. He watched the small frown of disappointment slip onto the lips of his soulmate. He couldn’t help the jolt of excitement that flooded through him and the smirk that earned it’s place on his face. Just one more sign that they were literally made for one another. He knew immediately that Cas’ sadness was solely caused by the missed meal.

 

“I’ll make sure we grab something on the way back. I’m not being trapped and unable to move normally without stocking up on food first.” Dean pulled Cas close, now that they were wearing matching smiles, and kissed against his temple. Chuckling, he stepped back and gave his boyfriend a cocky wink. “See, nothin’ to worry about. I’ll take care of you, sweetheart.”

 

Castiel just rolled his eyes and followed them toward the lobby of the hotel.

 

* * *

 

 

When they got to the parking lot Rachel was waiting for them, which pleased him beyond belief. Not that he didn’t love Michael, but his mother was always a better choice. He was even more happy to see Anna hopping out of car and bounding toward him. Castiel’s arms instinctively wrapped around her as she collided into his chest.

 

He should have been skeptical, but he was thrown off guard by her enthusiastic affection.

 

“Castiel, I’m so happy for you. What was it like? You can tell me all the details later,” she whispered against his ear.

 

“Anna!” he shouted, his face heating in horror and embarrassment.

 

“What?” she asked defensively, leaving him speechless.

 

Castiel just shook his head and smiled at his mother, trying to ignore Anna’s previous comments. Once Dean had their bags in the trunk, he moved to his soulmate’s side. Putting as much distance as he could between them and his weirdly curious sister.

 

The ride to his childhood home was fairly quiet. He was content to just be pressed against Dean’s side in the comfortable silence. Castiel spent the time thinking over the fact that he’d be bound to another person in less than forty-eight hours. Knowing Dean was better than he’d ever imagined someone who would bond with him to be was a relief, but it didn’t magically heal years of apprehension.

 

He caught Dean’s look of confusion before giving a bright smile. He knew his mate was feeling his own personal brand of doubt and self loathing, but he shoved it back down as far as he could to keep it from affecting Dean. Castiel reminded himself of all the great things about their relationship; the way they fit together perfectly, how Dean looked like his teenage wet dream come to life in the small workshop behind Ellen’s restaurant, and that no one could possibly have given more of themselves to him so quickly. These details kept him grounded and made sure he didn’t forget just how lucky he truly was.

 

Rachel pulled into the drive-through and Dean ordered for them both, sometimes he was just so grateful that he didn’t need to say anything. A younger, more stubborn version of himself would have probably hated it. He would have thought it was too much like someone trying to silence him, but it wasn’t anything like that now and he knew it.

 

Castiel stared at Dean. He couldn’t help himself, taking in the gorgeous features of his boyfriend felt like it shouldn’t be a rushed process, even if it was just a secondary look and not the first time he’d seen them. Unfortunately before he could finish counting the small beautiful dots freckling the left cheek of Dean’s face, they pulled up to the driveway.

 

“I left you boys some mixtures on the kitchen table, you should have enough to get you through the ceremony. We’re still going out to breakfast, I’d really like to get to know your family, Dean, even if you aren’t there to make the introductions. We will be back soon and when you’re feeling up to it we’ll go pick out your ribbons.” His mother’s smile was brighter than he’d seen it in quite some time, it worried him a little more than it should have.

 

“That’s okay, my people aren’t really the formal type so I think they’ll survive. Just make sure you tell everyone that we would have been there if it were possible and that we’ll see them later,” Dean answered.

 

“Thank you for everything, Mother. Try not to embarrass me too much, please. These people will be my new family. I’d like to have some of my dignity in tact when that happens,” he smiled playfully toward the front seat. She just returned his grin and shoo’ed them out of the car.

 

“Looks like it’s almost just you and me,” Dean grinned wide, his tongue dipping out of his mouth for a quick second to swipe across his lips. Castiel’s eyes tracked the movement instantly and there was a flutter in his chest. That’s all it took, apparently. One small gesture of his mate’s tongue and he wanted to roll over and beg.

 

“Yes, Dean. Now is a great time to mention my father,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. Thankfully, the reminder stopped some of the blood flowing down through his veins. Although, the look he was getting from his soulmate wasn’t helping.

 

“Sorry,” Dean said, not looking even remotely apologetic.

 

“Get inside the house before I decide to become less than decent, in front of the neighbors,” he growled, aiming for playful but it came out a little more heated and desperate than he’d planned.

 

“Yes, sir.” Dean smirked.

 

_His boyfriend was going to be the death of him._

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Hours later, when the others made it back to the house, Dean’s body was already working normally. It seemed the second time around it was a much quicker process which was a relief. He’d been worried that he’d be stumbling down the walkway during their ceremony if the timing was wrong. Thankfully, he was breathing a little easier.

 

When he heard Ellen’s booming voice, and sweet southern accent, he groaned a little. He loved the woman and was happy to see her, but it also meant climbing out of bed with Castiel, and he was quite comfortable. Not to mention the fact that his boyfriend was snoozing happily against his chest and he wasn’t looking forward to waking him up.

 

 _Well maybe it won’t be so bad_ , he thought to himself as a happy smile climbed his cheeks. Dean’s fingers carded through the thick dark locks as he gently tilted his mate’s head back just a little. He leaned in, pressing his lips solidly against Castiel’s slightly cracked ones.

 

A huff of warm air came out when he felt the twitch of the long slender nose against his. Wanting to push it a little further, his hand slid down Cas’ back as he pulled him in just a bit closer. He opened his lips enough to tug on his boyfriend’s mouth, leaving it damp with his tongue.

 

Before he realized what was happening Castiel’s hands were wrapped tightly around his shoulders and he was pushed harshly against the soft mattress with the heavy weight of his mate sitting deliciously on top of him. He didn’t even realize the whine was being drawn out of him. “Caaas.”

 

Remembering the voices that were outside the door made Dean try his best to get a grip on the situation, it wasn’t easy. Castiel’s eyes were still closed, it didn’t seem to stop him though. The man was grinding hard against him, his body perfectly rolling on top of Dean causing some parts of his brain to shut down. He placed his hands instinctively on his soulmate’s hips, fingers dipping into the beautiful curve of his abdomen. Dean let himself be pulled into the purely aesthetic appeal of the man he loved.

 

He’d been lectured on how important it was to find the “right kind” of person to mate with. His parent’s weren’t nearly as bad as some of the teachers in school, and they were nothing compared to his classmates and colleagues. How someone with such bright eyes should never be saddled with less than perfection, and how with his looks and almost iridescent irises he should only have the most handsome or most beautiful of suitors.   
  
Dean thought for the longest time that all those people were bat crap crazy and that he needed more than a pretty face and bright eyes. The thing was though, he’d found it. He’d found the perfection they’d led him to believe that he deserved. In his heart, Dean knew that this wasn’t what they’d meant, and they certainly would not see it the same way. However, he couldn’t help but realize that it was the perfection he’d dreamed about, it was exactly what he’d always wanted for himself. There was no settling for him, there was no second best, this was it for Dean. Cas was it.

 

Despite all the sparks and signals of pleasure going off throughout his body, he’d managed to successfully distract himself enough to let out a loud sigh. His boyfriend stilled immediately.

 

“Am I doing something wrong?” Castiel asked, his eyes open for the first time since he’d awakened.

 

“Oh, God, no! Cas no, you’re great. I’m sorry, I was just thinking about how much I love you, how perfect you are, and I got a little carried away. I promise, you’re amazing, gorgeous like this, and everything feels so damn good.” To emphasize his interest, Dean rolled his hips upward, pushing the hard outline of his cock against the thin fabric of Castiel’s pajama bottoms.

 

He watched as the gorgeous turquoise rolled back in pleasure and disappeared behind his soulmates’ hooded lids.

 

“Dean,” he gasped. Cas’ hands reached out to clutch into the soft sheets on each side of his head. It gave Dean better access to beautiful skin of his boyfriend’s naked torso. He took the welcome opportunity to suck a mark into the skin of his clavicle. The well defined curve appealed to him in a new and borderline destructive way. He thought momentarily, that he could spend eternity leaving a trail from one side to the other.

 

* * *

 

 

The harsh bite made his knees quiver, a jolt struck out causing the rest of his body to shake in pleasure. The ecstasy poured through his veins as Dean pulled the freshly bitten skin into his mouth and sucked against it. A loud, obscene moan curled from his lips as tremors of euphoric bliss stretched into every crevice of his being.

 

He knew his orgasmw was climbing unbelievable heights, as if he were still a young teen unable to control himself even a small amount.

 

“Dean, I...” he said, almost unable to recognize his own voice. The words came out in a heated pant and a cry of desperation. The feeble attempt to warn his mate was as far as he managed to get before the white pleasure poured out of him.

 

The strong arms of his boyfriend held him even tighter as he spasmed through the final jolts of his climax. As soon as he could see properly again he pushed his hand beneath the restraining cotton of Dean’s boxers. and gripped tightly onto the pulsating thick erection.

 

He squeezed and swiped his thumb over the leaking tip, stroking from the warm base all the way up to the wet head. Dean shuddered beneath his touch and he could feel the anticipation building. Leaning in, he decided that he wanted to break down his mate the same way Dean had managed to do to him. Unsure of what else to do, he began to speak. Soft fluid words to tell his boyfriend exactly how he felt, while bringing him over the pinacle of orgasm.

 

“Do you know what I love most about your body?” he asked, teasing his breath against the shell of his soulmate’s ear. “I love that it’s thickly chiseled in muscle, as if every movement that lead you here to me was sculpting the flawless shape that I would see. I love that your hands are strong, calloused, and able to make me speechless,” the last line came breathily, pulling out the last bit of air left in his lungs.

 

Castiel began to move his hand faster, drawing long shaking moans from his lover. Smiling at the quaking tremors beneath his fingertips and licking his lips at the sound of his efforts successfully pulling Dean apart.

 

“I love that your thighs are bowed, it feels like an invitation every time I see enough space for me to fit between them. Have you ever thought of that Dean? In all these scenarios you’ve imagined, has it ever occured to you that I might want to experience the feeling of being  inside you?” When his soulmate’s hips jerked up into his slicked up hand he took it as a good sign. Castiel had always imagined Dean filling him. He wouldn’t have complained if that was all his boyfriend wanted, but clearly it wasn’t such a bad idea.

 

Dean was frantically thrusting, the words brushing against his ear appeared to have the desired effect. “As much as I love all of these things and so much more about your body, Dean, I want you to know something, something very important,” he paused, taking in a deep breath. Unsure if this was really the right time to say it, but knowing he needed to regardless, so he continued. “The thing that I love most about this, is that it’s just a beautiful wrapping paper. The true gift, is the person it holds.”

 

Dean grabbed at him roughly until they were kissing, mouths clashing together. Heated pants escaping between their lips the moment they pulled apart, only to be swallowed back down when they collided once again. A few breathless mentions of his name and hot ropes of fluid shot over his fingers. He kept stroking until Dean began to shiver and whine from his touch.

 

He was curious about the taste, wanted to know what it was like. When he pulled away from their kiss and lifted his finger to his lips he heard the click of his boyfriend’s mouth dropping. He hesitantly licked a long strand from the side of his hand. The taste was salty and a little bitter but mostly it just made him feel dizzy with want. This was Dean, this was the man he loved, there was nothing better than knowing he’d just satisfied his lover with the flick of his wrist and honest words. Of course, that didn’t mean he didn’t want to try everything else too.

 

* * *

 

 

It took several minutes for Dean’s mind to refocus and for the crashing reality to hit. The entire reason he’d woken Cas up was because his family was there. _Goddammit!_ he said to himself, trying to hide a cringe.

 

He must have pushed some of his shame into the bond accidentally, because he couldn’t believe how quickly the smirk faded from Castiel’s lips. Dean could almost see the thoughts flickering behind his eyes.

 

“I just remembered that the reason I was waking you up was because everyone is here… including my family.” Dean’s face drew up in an apologetic expression, as he waited for Cas’ response.

 

He was pretty sure Castiel had been impressed with himself for being able to throw Dean Winchester off his game. Which to be fair, was quite the accomplishment but his entire face just dropped when he realized that they’d spent at least half an hour fooling around while everyone and their cousin were inside the house..

 

“Oh, God. What are they going to think of me? Dean get up now! We have to shower and get dressed as quickly as possible. We’ll tell them all that you didn’t want to wake me and that, that, I was knocked out by the potion or something... just get up. Stop laughing at me Dean and go turn the shower on!” Castiel said, the gorgeous face looking so earnest that it nearly broke Dean’s heart.

 

“Sweetheart, it’s fine. It’s just Sammy, Ellen, and Jo. You know they love you already, this isn’t anything new. Well I guess Charlie is probably out there too, so I’m the one who needs to be nervous here. Meeting the best friend can be a little touch and go.” Dean shook his head, hoping to focus his attention on what was actually important, which was settling Cas’ nerves. “Okay, Sweetheart. I’ll go start the shower, but you’re going to have to calm down a little. You go in there looking that pale and they’ll think I’ve split you open with a knife or something.”

 

He gave his mate one last kiss before sliding out of bed and heading toward the bathroom.

 

Dean showered and dressed in record time, even for him which was originally, just under seven minutes. When they stepped out into the hall they found it empty, fortunately. _At least nobody was close enough to hear anything_ , he told himself.

 

Dean’s hand slipped down to curl into Cas’ as he led the way toward the booming sounds from the kitchen. When they opened the door there was a table full of laughter, and he wasn’t sure if he should panic or join in.

 

Surprisingly, the first actual words he heard were “Holy cow, Batman!”

 

Dean turned his head toward an adorable redhead who was staring at him, eyes wide, and a looking eerily similar to a deer in headlights. He held out his hand quickly, offering it to her as she just gaped blankly at him.

 

“Charlie, stop ogling my boyfriend and shake his hand. You’re not even attracted to guys.” Castiel said, his tone was teasing but there was an unexpected amount of heat behind the words. Dean shrugged to himself, he could get used to a little possessiveness. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t made his own clear, when he sucked a mark into Castiel’s skin.

 

“Hey, Charlie. I’m Dean. It’s really nice to meet you,” he said, his hand still floating awkwardly out into the air until she inevitably came back to herself.

 

Cas crossed his arms, and cleared his throat pointedly which seemed to snap her out of the daze. She closed her mouth immediately which blindsided Dean just a little, the girl was practically glowing when the smile spread into her cheeks. After she dropped his hand, she pulled Castiel into a hug, whispering something that sounded like lottery and Ken dolls.

 

His attention was snapped away when Rachel’s hand settled on his shoulder, surprising him. She had a warm smile, one of the brightest he’d seen since they’d met. “You have a lovely family, Dean. I look forward to meeting your parents. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check on my husband.”

 

Dean watched as she wove politely through the smaller space and slipped out into the dining room. A lump built slowly in his throat as he remembered there was still one member of Castiel’s family that he hadn’t met.

 

Cas pushed him onto one of the small stools pushed in against the island counter and sat down right beside him. There was a hard swipe of knuckle against the back of his hand briefly before his boyfriend laced their fingers together, relief flooded his system. Castiel just had this way of making Dean feel like less of a loser.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel sat quietly, snuggled tightly against his soulmate’s side. The slightly familiar tingling spread between his shoulders again. Each flutter striking out beneath his skin, spreading across the full width of the highest part of his torso. Pulses blended together and merged near the center circle at the small of his back.

 

Instinctively, his hand flew around to touch the now impressive amount of pressure pooled under his shirt. His fingertips skidded to a stop before he could hit skin, feeling a soft silky barrier. Confused, he pushed against it until a rocketing sensation punched through him and he made contact with the natural feeling of his skin. A second later it was gone, leaving him curious and bewildered.

 

Realizing that not speaking up was what started the problems he and Dean were currently experiencing, he made a mental note to discuss it with his mother as soon as they had a moment of privacy. There was no need to worry Dean unnecessarily.

 

Castiel couldn’t help the smile that brightened his face when he saw his father entering the room. Even with the paleness in his cheeks and his mother’s arm appearing to be the only thing that was keeping him upright, it was a blessed sight. Instantly he pushed closer wanting to reach out and help in any way he could, but found out quickly that the entire room had the same thought and they all ended up knocking into one another in a big cluster.

 

“I’ve made it this far. Somehow, I doubt the last three feet between myself and that chair is going to stump me,” his father said, speaking to the mess they’d made of themselves. Castiel quickly reclaimed his seat, instantly feeling the movement of Dean’s shoulders bouncing against him. When he turned to look, his boyfriend was laughing almost hysterically.

 

“I see where you get it now,” Dean said, almost wheezing out the words his breath was so forced. A warmth curled inside him at the sound. The moments in which he’d heard the precious sound of his soulmate’s laughter had been too few and far between recently.

 

Instinctively his mouth turned up and he began to mimic the heartfelt gesture. The feeling of Dean’s happiness was contagious as well as addictive. Before he knew what was happening they were both chuckling loudly and everyone was staring at them with a mixture of fondness and confusion written in their expressions.

 

Rachel pushed through the room, politely ushering everyone that wasn’t Dean or himself out the door.

* * *

 

 

Once everyone had left, his smile quickly faded into a serious look of anxiousness. Dean could feel the nerves pulling at him in ways he’d never known before. Thankfully the calming grip of Cas’ hand in his kept him steady and strong. He could do this for his soulmate. Hell, he knew Cas would be in the same situation in less than twenty four hours. Only then, there would be three new Winchesters counting his uncle Bobby, who would probably end up being the hardest one to win over.

 

“Well you sure do make an impression, don’t you, Dean.” The man crossed his arms and raised his brows in a somewhat terrifying manner. Nathaniel was a good sized man, intimidating to say the least. Had the man not rightfully looked like he’d just gotten out of the hospital, Dean was sure the tremble in his legs would have probably been noticeable.

 

Still, the guy had nothing on John Winchester as far as scare tactics.

 

“Well, I do try, sir.” He said, the biggest smile he could manage on his face. He tried his hardest to not have it seem cheesy or fake so he just flicked his gaze over to Castiel and that was all the inspiration he needed.

 

Settling his eyes back on Cas’ father, he realized that the man was eyeing him in the same way his own dad used to when he was a teen and John was trying to imagine all the trouble he could get himself into. Dean didn’t, of course. Well not that they’d known about anyway. _Everybody has a rebellious phase, right?_

 

Immediately, he cut his thoughts off. Oddly afraid that Nathaniel James could read his mind.

 

“Well I must admit seeing Castiel so brightly animated is a rare treat. I’ve been told it’s much more common now than it’s been in over a decade. Is this true, Castiel?”

 

Relaxing a little when the question wasn’t directed at him, Dean began to rub small circles on his boyfriend’s thumb. It seemed to ease a little of the tension that had made crawled up Castiel’s shoulders since his insecurities came to surface. It was easy to see the moment his mate’s  posture had changed, and he’d hated himself for it.

 

“Although he’s not the only source of my happiness, Dean makes it very easy to smile,” Cas answered, his cheeks flushed and gorgeous.

 

A little surprised by the words, he cocked his head before even noticing it.

 

“This surprises you, Dean?” Nathaniel asked, catching him entirely off guard.

 

“Wh...No, I mean, a little I guess. He just, he says things in ways I’ve never heard before and it just takes me by surprise sometimes. Sorry,” he answered, unsure of just what kind of impression he’d leave in the end, despite Nathaniel’s previously implied compliment.

 

“The truth is, Dean has brought me an unbelievable amount of happiness in our short time together, but that isn’t the only reason I smile,” Cas bit his lip, clearly nervous to bring up whatever he was about to say.

 

Dean tried to reassure him the best he could with a comforting squeeze of their hands and pushing himself just a little closer, becoming a solid weight against Cas’ side.

 

Dean’s theory that his mate was just concerned about his father’s opinion was shot all to hell when Cas turned to him and said, “It all started with Sam. Even with Charlie, who I’d known for over a year, I just... I was of out of place. I never felt right, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault it just was. Then Sam offered me a place to live, without judgement, without treating me any different than he would have anyone else,” he paused again, Dean could feel an overwhelming amount of emotion flooding through his bond.

He pulled Casl against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around his boyfriend. “Shh... it’s okay, sweetheart,” he whispered, leaving a small kiss beneath the tousled spikes of dark hair. The push against his hold was quick and he dropped his arms so that Castiel could sit back up, this time turning to his father.

 

“I know that my family loves me, and I love you all very much. Dean is amazing, and so more than I ever thought possible. I’ll do everything I can to make sure he never doubts that, but Sam Winchester did not just bring me, my soulmate. He made me feel like I had a family in a way that I’d never known before.”

 

Dean looked toward Nathaniel, and clearly he wasn’t the only one who got a little surprise from his soulmate’s words.

 

“Castiel, what do you mean?”

 

“Exactly as I said, father. I’d told myself for years that you, mother, that everyone only loved me because you had to and because it was expected. I know how wrong that was now, but I don’t think I ever could have changed that belief alone.” he paused, looking up to meet Nathaniel’s gaze. “Even if I could have told myself that Dean was just with me because we’d mated, his brother...Sam cared for me when he had no reason to, no obligation, and I can’t tell you how much that small act changed everything for me.”

 

Watching his boyfriend wipe at the sides of his eyes. Dean wished Sam would have been in there with them, he’d have known what to say, known how to handle the whole thing.

 

“Well, then I say it’s about time I meet this incredible brother of yours, Dean. I imagine that he will have plenty of stories to tell on you as well,” Nathaniel said with a devious grin, making him regret ever thinking that the moment would have been better with Sammy around.

 

 _Okay, well that adds onto the freaky mind-reading superpower panic_ , he thought, refocusing his attention back on his boyfriend in hopes of calming himself down. The last thing his boyfriend needed was more anxiety.

 

Once Cas was feeling better the first thing Dean did was text his giant of a brother and threaten him with every single piece of dirt he could think of in an effort to escape with at least a small amount of his dignity intact.

 

Dean heard the beep and felt the vibration of his phone, quickly opening the message.

 

Sure, Dean. Just tell me one thing. Were you five or six when you decided to run down the street in a pair of Jo’s panties screaming I’m a pretty princess? -Sam

 

_**THAT NEVER HAPPENED! -Dean** _

 

_**SAM? -Dean** _

_**  
DAMMIT, SAMMY! -Dean** _


	19. Chapter 19

Thankfully, his brother hadn’t completely mortified him in front of Castiel’s family and soon they would all be sharing dinner. Dean offered to grill burgers and steaks, and, with his boyfriend’s enthusiastic support, Rachel conceded to giving up the kitchen area.

 

He conned Cas into peeling and cutting up the potatoes as he worked quickly to get the meat in a marinade of garlic, onions, spices, and a variety of sweet and savory sauces. Once it was safely tucked away in the fridge, he decided to figure out some sort of a desert.

 

Dean began counting his fingers trying to lock down the number of mouths he’d have to feed, but it just kept growing. There were at least eight people in Castiel’s family that would be there, and another five on his part, counting Charlie. He looked over just as he was about to get the sum and his mate was smiling goofily at him.

 

“Thirteen, Dean,” he said with a cocky smile on his face. If he wasn’t so damn adorable, he’d probably want to punch him right on his smug little nose. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the wide grin spread across Castiel’s cheeks, though. Dean knew he’d never do anything to intentionally hurt him, maybe just tickle him until he begged for mercy.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I made it there, smartass,” he answered, pulling out two cookie sheets from beneath the stove. Dean would rather have made an apple or peach pie, but he didn’t see any fresh fruit lying around and he absolutely refused to use store bought filling. Instead, he quickly began measuring ingredients for his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

 

Dean stirred it all together by hand, grinning as he remembered the age old disagreement he still had with his mother. He argued constantly that it tasted better when you didn’t use an electric mixer and she replied that it didn’t really make a difference. Dean may or may not have an outlined essay stating exactly why he knows he’s right; he still hasn’t had the nerve to give her.

 

He smiled even wider when he found a few hershey bars in one of the drawers and cut them up turning half his regular recipe into chocolate chunk cookies. Dean was momentarily distracted when Castiel pressed up against his back; a warmth curled tightly in his chest.

 

“I’m not sure which is better, seeing you working in your woodshop, or at ease in a kitchen,” Cas whispered against his ear, causing a thrill of excitement to race down his spine. With so much happiness spilling through their bond, Dean couldn’t help the playful mood he’d found himself in.

 

“I think I’ll ask Rufus for a _bring-your-soulmate-to-work-day_ so you can watch me at the garage too, wanna make sure you hit the trifecta.” Dean turned around, wiping his hands off on the thin dish towel hanging through the belt loop of his jeans.

 

“Mmm,” was all he heard before Cas pulled him into a heated kiss. Their bodies slowly moving together until they were both panting and out of breath. Dean stepped away, smiling when his mate chased after his mouth but only giving into another small peck.

 

“We need to get back to work. You aren’t the only one I want to impress with my kitchen skills,” he said, shooing his boyfriend back toward the table. If they’d been at home in their apartment Castiel would have ended up with a faceful of flour, but Dean really didn’t want that to be the picture he left for Nathaniel and Rachel.

 

It wasn’t long until the potatoes were baking in the cast-iron skillet, the meat and vegetables were sizzling on the grill and he had a large basket filled with cookies and brownies. When they finished, Dean hussled Sam and Jo into helping carry all the food through the back door where everyone was gathered.

 

Compliments on the meal were given freely and often from each and every member of the James family, but Dean’s side joked about it; claiming they didn’t want him to get a big head. At the end of the night he knew that his clan enjoyed their food, and that was what mattered.

 

The sun went down as they finished off the remainder of their meal and made their way back inside. With a few hugs goodbye; Sammy, Ellen, Jo, and Charlie left for the hotel. Luke and Michael weren’t far behind them, not wanting to get stuck with cleanup duty. Dean didn’t mind doing it himself, it was easy with the thrum of satisfaction and contentment cycling through their bond.

 

Curled up together in Cas’ bed that night. They just talked; warm, comfortable, and excitedly discussing the next day. John, Mary, and Bobby were scheduled to be in Portland by noon; and they had tons of plans. Not to mention the dozens of preparations that still needed to be figured out before the ceremony.

 

Cas reminded him that they would to go to The Ribbon Store as well. To say he was a little freaked out about it was an understatement. The pressure to go to this place where he’d have to pick the single supposed strand that would signify what he brought to their bond. Somehow he doubted that an inanimate object would call out to him in a way he could understand it, instead of some believed cryptic instinct he was expected to have.

 

Grateful that his mom and Rachel would willingly take care of the smaller details, Dean pushed the anxiousness to the back of his mind and focused on what truly mattered. Cas snuggled into his arms, the smile spreading across his face, and that soon they’d be bonded. With those fuzzy warm thoughts, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

 

Castiel woke up fairly early, blinking in the filtered sunlight through his blinds. He checked his phone and nearly groaned at the time. His mood improved when he realized that he didn’t have any classes, or work to do. He could simply reclaim his spot between Dean’s arms and go back to sleep. Just as he was about to do that, a thought struck him. His mate was always eager to surprise him, to do kind things. Without even thinking about it, Dean had began taking care of him. Nervously biting his lip Castiel thought maybe it was his turn to do the same.

 

He slipped out from under the covers and crept his way into the kitchen. Surprised that he wasn’t alone, Castiel let a small smile cross his lips. “Good morning, father,” he said, grateful there was a fresh pot of coffee on. It would help him wake up enough to attempt to make Dean breakfast.

 

“Indeed, it is,” Nathaniel replied, giving a curious glance to his son before turning back to his newspaper. Castiel shook his head fondly. _Some things will never change_ , he thought to himself. He added a little cream and squirted quite a bit of honey into the cup, breathing in the delicious smell of their freshly ground beans.

 

“Do you mind if I make a small breakfast for Dean and I?” he asked, assured his father wouldn’t really care, but not wanting to commandeer such a vital place in the house he didn’t live in anymore.

 

“You are going to cook… for your mate?” his father asked, his eyes narrowing and a brow arched high on his forehead.

 

All of the sudden, Castiel’s hands were clammy and he was genuinely worried his father would deny him this chance or impart some kind of wisdom on him that he really didn’t need to hear at the moment. “Yes,” he said, swallowing hard around the lump that formed in his throat.

 

Nathaniel sat his newspaper down with a very serious look on his face before continuing on. “Castiel, I thought you liked this man. I’ve eaten your food and trust me when I say, it would be better if Dean cooked for himself,” he said, a playful but loud laugh followed behind it.

 

Cas buried his face in his hands and shook his head, completely embarrassed by a parent and he’d not even properly woken up yet. “Very funny, father. Dean will like whatever I make, he understands that it’s the thought that counts,” Castiel defended, as he pulled out a small skillet.

 

He could make an omelet, he was sure of it. Basically it was just four ingredients. How difficult could it possibly be? Castiel cracked an egg and poured the contents into a bowl, careful not to get the hard white shell in it. When he didn’t see any small pieces, he went on to bust the second one open. Proudly, he smiled to himself and added a little milk and mixed it together with a fork.

 

Castiel took a sip of his coffee before sprinkling salt and pepper over the bowl and mixing again. Feeling inspired, he began to add other things that he’d seen Dean put in his own omelets. He chopped small pieces of ham and diced a mushroom, and a few other small things before turning the stove on and pouring it into a skillet.

 

When it came time to flip the mixture Castiel pushed the spatula under it and noticed that it didn’t want to move willingly. He poked and prodded at it and eventually it lifted up but it was all scrambled, unlike the perfect toss that his mate always managed.

 

He tried not to be disheartened by the fact that his attempt stuck to the bottom of the pan and didn’t look nearly as appealing as Dean’s. Imagining the way his boyfriend would smile at him and thank him for the kind gesture. The affirmation that he was doing his best was good enough for him to not throw it away and go back to bed.

 

Eventually, when he was assured that it was thoroughly cooked, he lifted the skillet from the heat and raked it’s contents onto a plate. He popped four slices of bread into their toaster and poured some juice and another cup of coffee before sliding it all onto a platter and heading back toward his room.

 

Taking a deep breath before he entered, Cas held the tray with one hand and opened the door with the other. Dean’s body was draped across the bed. The covers were pulled down as if they’d been kicked off. Castiel bit his lip and tried to refrain from just casting the tray aside and licking his way down the gorgeously displayed form of his mate. Again, he inhaled deeply, and let the air swish through his mouth in a gust. _Now or never_ , he told himself as he neared the bed.

 

Cas steadied the meal on the nightstand before crawling back between the sheets and trailing his fingers down the wide expanse of tanned flesh. Smiling, he stopped and poked softly at the small freckled dots across his boyfriend’s cheeks. He couldn’t help the chuckle that fought it’s way out when Dean scrunched up his nose like a rabbit.

 

He leaned in and  pushed his lips against Dean’s temple. Slowly the turquoise irises were revealed as his boyfriend’s eyes fluttered open. “Mmm I’mustbe dreamin’,” he said, pushing himself up on his elbows to get closer. When Castiel saw the perfect pink mouth pucker in his direction, it was hardly an offer he could refuse, so he dipped closer and left a small chaste peck there.

 

“I made you breakfast,” Castiel said, smiling brightly as Dean’s eyebrows shot up in curiosity. Even though they’d lived together for a while, he’d never really bothered to do much more than throwing leftovers into the microwave or the occasional bowl of cereal on mornings he had to leave early.

 

Dean’s own grin widened and he sat up in bed, rubbing his hands together anxiously awaiting his meal. Cas excitedly pushed himself off the bed and reached for the food he prepared, draping it gently onto his soulmate’s lap. Dean’s eyes dropped to the tray and he squinted, almost immediately his gaze flicked back up to boyfriend and he smiled.

 

The nervousness filtered through on both sides of the bond, but Dean quickly took a bite. Chewing loudly before chasing the taste with almost half a glass of juice. “Y’know, sweetheart. I’m not really that hungry,” Dean at least had the good sense to look sheepish as the foreign words tumbled out of his mouth.

 

A heat began to boil beneath his skin but he was unsure if it was more anger or embarrassment overwhelming him. “You’re always hungry, Dean. If it’s really that horrible I will just throw it away. No need to trouble yourself eating it,” he replied, a tear threatening to slip past the lip of his lid.

 

“Cas,” Dean said, his voice still full of the sleep rough sexiness that made it hard for Castiel not to swoon. He twisted himself back around to stare at his boyfriend, hoping that his insecurities weren’t shooting through the bond.

 

“Cas, sweetheart. You know...I mean, I get it. I do, really. I know you were trying to do something awesome here.” Dean said, pausing long enough to worry his bottom lip with his teeth. “It’s just… well, you can’t cook, man. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore.”

 

Castiel’s eyes widened, he couldn’t believe that Dean just said that so openly, so freely. Well, okay maybe he could, the bond wouldn’t allow too much secrecy between them. His mate was kind of brash at the best of times but honest to a fault. His shoulders dropped as he took in the information, clearly he’d not done a very good job preparing the meal.

 

It crossed his mind that Dean might just be a picky eater, maybe his food was perfectly acceptable but his boyfriend was just used to his own exquisite cooking. Castiel reached over and took a bite himself, chewing slowly and then reaching for the trashcan immediately. So, not just Dean then…

 

After he’d rinsed his mouth out with the remainder of his coffee, Dean pulled him into his side. Chuckling, and prodding at Castiel’s lips until they pushed up into a smile. “See what I mean? It’s okay, sweetheart. I don’t mind doin’ all the cookin’.”

 

“I just… I wanted to do something wonderful for you, like you do for me all the time,” he muttered, as he pushed the still full tray back to the bedside table. He knew he looked as if he were pouting but it bothered him that he couldn’t reciprocate at least one of the generous gestures that Dean had made for him almost every day.

 

“Hey, this is just one thing. I’m sure there are plenty of things you can do for me.” Dean replied, wiggling his eyebrows, making Castiel blow out a breath in a huff of laughter. He tightened his grip around his boyfriend’s hips and snuggled in deeper. Laying his head on the muscled warmth of his mate’s chest.

 

“I’m serious, Dean. I really need to know that there is at least a semblance of equal ground in our relationship. It can’t always be this unbalanced, I want to do more…” Interrupted by the full force of his boyfriend’s mouth, Cas briefly forgot what he was trying to say. It wasn’t until Dean backed off leaving him panting and breathless once again that he even attempted to remember.

 

“I don’t feel cheated or anything, but if you think it’s really that unfair I promise there will be plenty of chances to fix that. You will find your own things to do for me, just promise me you’ll figure out something you’re good at, y’know?” he asked, a smile pulling up his face until it reached all the way to his eyes. He knew Dean was teasing him sure, but he could also feel the happiness and contentment surging through the bond.

 

‘Okay, I..I can do that,” he said, answering with his own smile in return. He reached for his soulmate but fell flat against the plush mattress instead. Dean crawled out of bed quickly, pulling on a pair of pajama pants and a faded black metallica shirt over his head.

 

“Well come on, I’ll go make us some breakfast,” Dean said with a smirk playing on his lips. He ducked out of the doorway leaving Castiel to carry in the tray of inedible scraps. Cas chased after his boyfriend until he realized that both his parents were in the kitchen and maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea to catch Dean, so he backed off just a little.

 

Instead, he opted to hold the offending meal up. Perching it just under his boyfriend’s chin.“What do you want me to do with this, though?” he said, enthusiastically waving it beneath Dean’s nose.

 

“Cas, get that out of my face or so help me, you will be wearing it,” Dean replied, his tone serious but a glint danced in his eye that gave him away. An image of them wrestling together on the floor, the messy egg mixture smeared across both their faces flashed through his mind. Castiel ached for the privacy to have such a moment.  However the fact that they were not alone meant he backed away, brushing the plates clean into the trash.

 

He poured himself another cup of coffee as Dean started mixing up some kind of batter and moving around in the kitchen happily. Castiel brushed past his mate, just long enough to hook his chin over the broad shoulder and leave a kiss against his cheek. Mumbling a soft “I love you,” before he backed away.

 

“Trust me, I know. If I wasn’t sure you loved me I wouldda thought you were trying to kill me this morning,” he answered, a broad grin on his face. Chuckling as he continued to whip the mixture, “Death by mystery omelet is not the way I want to go, sweetheart.”

 

Cas glared at his parents, both of which were dirty rotten traitors. They’d began laughing loudly as soon as Dean made his comment. Thankful that if nothing else, his mother at least had the dignity to act like she was trying to hold back.

 

“I told him as much, myself. If it makes you feel any better, Dean.” Nathaniel obviously trying to wipe the small flash of guilt that Castiel almost didn’t notice on his mate’s face.

 

Breathing a deep sigh, Cas rolled his eyes and spoke,”Okay, so it wasn’t great.. can we move on?” A smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. He took a seat at the table and waited, the smell of bacon sizzling was enough to keep him firmly planted in his chair.

 

Nathaniel handed him a section of the paper and before he knew it the table was brimming with delicious aromas and plates holding three different types of crepes and a bacon filled platter in the middle. They ate, all groaning at the wonderful tastes spilling onto their tongues. Dean just kept a small pleased smile on his lips as if he was proud of himself and Cas followed, because he could only agree with the feeling.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Picking his parents up from the airport was almost as fun as a root canal. Most people knew of Dean’s severe dislike for airplanes, but the truth was; he wasn’t a fan of airplane housing areas either. It wasn’t like he thought someone was gonna come pick him out in the crowd and force him to commandeer a plane or anything, but you know...Dean was a strategist, he thought through all possible outcomes.  

 

Dean’s pulse settled a bit when he saw a familiar blue trucker cap. Bobby was pushing through the crowd, damn near pulling John and Mary behind him. Relief flooded through him and his shoulders dropped as he took in the sight. His uncle was the first to break through the hordes of people and fling himself at Dean.

 

“Good to see ya, boy,” Bobby said in his ear, clapping hard against his back, nearly crushing him. Holding on almost as tightly as when him and Sammy left Kansas.

 

“You too, old man,” he answered, his face splitting wide open with a smile. There was a tug on his shoulder as his father’s gruff voice told Bobby to let go. Shortly after that, his uncle’s grip went slack, and he stepped away.

 

Seizing the opportunity his parents corralled him into their arms and squeezed so tightly he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have a couple cracked ribs to show for it. “Okay, okay. I get it, I missed you guys too. Come on, get movin. We gotta pick up the keys to your rental and meet Cas at The Ribbon Store by one.”

 

They all kind of laughed at him, but nonetheless made hurried movements toward the Hertz desk. Dean checked his phone at least ten times per minute as they waited in line for what seemed like an eternity.

 

He sent out multiple texts out making sure everyone knew that they’d  made it in safely, and that they were trying their best to get out of there; Cas especially. This was the first time they’d truly tested the bond numbing potion, having mostly been side by side since he’d arrived in Portland. They were technically still only a few miles from one another but it felt like a damn miracle that neither of them were clawing to get back to their mate. Well, not literally at least.

 

When they got outside Mary told John and Bobby to take the rental, that she wanted to ride in the Impala with Dean. He couldn’t help the small laugh at his father’s disgruntled expression, but with her quick kiss to his cheek he softened up considerably. Finally they were ready to leave and head toward Castiel.

 

“So tell me, about your mate. I do remember that he’s quite gorgeous, but other than that I don’t really know much about the boy, or his family. I don’t like being uninformed, Dean,” she said primly, her gaze heavily trained on him.

 

Dean shrugged, he didn’t think he was all that good with words but, he supposed he had to try. Cas deserved a good representation. “I, I can’t describe him mom, not really, but he’s awesome. I mean, I know that some people, well they wouldn’t have picked him... ya know? I mean I think they’re insane for thinkin’ that way, but he had these gorgeous dark blue eyes. I only caught a glimpse of them but sometimes I kinda miss it y’know.”

 

Dean squeezed the back of his neck nervously, but he soldiered on. “Anyway, he’s a nerdy little guy but he makes me feel like I can do anything; just don't ever let him around a stove,” he said chuckling and letting the warmth from the memory of their morning together flow through him.

 

When he could safely catch a glimpse of his passenger side seat, he saw his mother’s smile beaming in his direction. “Sounds lovely, I look forward to meeting him. What about his family, have they all been okay?” she asked, clearly hesitant to make any assumptions.

 

“Yeah, they’re great. Rachel really helped out with the bond, we had no idea what was going on and would have ended up in pretty rough shape without her. I didn’t like feelin’ out of control like that and I’m pretty sure Cas would say the same,” he paused, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Ah, his dad is okay too. I haven’t spent much time with the guy but I think that’s where Cas get’s his sense of humor. Not that it’s, y’know, great or anything. Honestly, I’m probably the only person in the world who thinks he’s hilarious, but I do.”

 

Dean finished his thought completely caught off guard by how bright and wide his smile was when he looked in the rear-view mirror. He knew that he loved Cas but it was the first time he’d seen it on his own face. Apparently his mother witnessed it too, because she gasped and her eyes bulged and she began to tear up. He bit back the _Dammit, Mom,_ knowing she’d scold him for the language. Normally he would never have said it, but the last thing he needed right now was to start bawlin like some kinda baby, and Dean was a sympathetic crier.

 

As if she sensed his building anger in her direction, she apologized quickly. “Oh, I’m sorry, Dean. Look at me, I’m a mess. I used to be so much stronger than this,” she said with a glint in her eye. Slipping his overshirt off, he passed it toward her. It wasn’t like he really kept tissues lying around. Well, not outside of his bedroom, but his mother really didn’t need to know about that.

 

“It’s fine, mom. I gotta say though, you’re still pretty badass,” he said pausing to look over at her before he finished the rest. “The waterworks ain’t nothin but your brain’s way of relieving all that stress you were holdin’ onto about not findin’ someone to take my sorry butt,” he teased, playfully swatting at her arm with his hand and wearing the biggest grin he could.

 

“Pssht,” she said, a heavy breath leaving her mouth that almost sounded like a laugh. “I wasn’t worried about you, Dean. Knew they had to be holdin’ onto somethin special for my boy. Wouldn’t have taken it any other way.”

 

He knew he shouldn’t. Really he did, but Dean was never good at fighting his curiosity. Sure enough the second he looked over and saw her glossy eyes shining back at him, he began to feel his mouth go slack and the corners of his own lids begin to dampen.

 

Finally, he allowed himself to say it. Or it tumbled out without his permission. Either way the words spilled from his lips.

 

“Dammit, Mom,” he said, pulling his shirt back over to his side of the cab and wiping at his eyes with it. Dean looked up into the mirror and his lids were rimmed-red and his face was splotchy. They were only a few miles away from their destination and he looked like a freakin’ clown.

 

Mary didn’t seem like she had anything to say to that so he flipped the radio on. So, maybe it was a little louder than necessary but he wanted to drown out his thoughts. It was his only chance at being back to normal when he made it to Cas. Fuck only knew what John or Bobby would say if they found him all red-faced from a twenty minute drive with his mommy. They’d have a field day with it.

 

Dean took deep breaths and let the perfect hum of the bass guitar fill his mind. When he pulled into the parking lot, relief settled in his shoulders. He could feel that Cas was close, the bond was more content than it had been during their separation. It wasn’t detrimental like before, but there was a faint feeling of wrongness to the whole thing.

 

Stepping out onto the pavement, he already felt his mood lightening. He rushed to the other side, opening the door for his mom as he’d been doing since he’d learned how to work the handles. “Ya know, your daddy and I did good with you,” she said, pinching his cheek.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I know,” he answered, waving his hand toward her fingers hoping it would make her let go, it didn’t. It was the same spiel he’d heard since he was a teenager. “Mom, seriously. We gotta get in ther-” he stopped, when he heard her gasp loudly.

 

“Oh, Dean.”

 

He turned his head to follow her gaze and was met with the gorgeous face of his mate. Slipping his arm in her’s, Dean pulled them closer to the sidewalk where Cas was waiting, shyly.

 

When they stepped onto the curb and nobody made a move, Dean just rolled his eyes and pulled his boyfriend beneath his arm, fitting him comfortably against his side. “Mom, this is Castiel James,” he paused, “Cas, this is my mom. Mary Winchester.”

 

Neither of them stepped closer or said anything, the only thing that Dean could really tell was happening was his mother’s eyes began to tear up again. _GodFuckinDammit_.

 

Not being a particularly big fan of silence, Dean continued. “Officially and stuff, you guys already met on Skype but y’know I guess this is different or whatever…” he trailed off. Still, no one really made any kind of movements, or words, or hell anything. He was just getting ready to start waving a hand in front of their eyes until the sound of a car pulling in caught his attention.

 

Dean was never so grateful to see his Dad and Bobby. They scrambled out of the small sedan, which, was mildly hilarious to Dean, and stepped up onto the sidewalk shortly after that.

 

“You must be this Castiel, fella we keep hearin’ so much about,” said Bobby, pulling Cas’ eyes from Mary.

 

“You can call me Cas if you like, Dean does,” he answered, sliding his hand into Bobby’s tight grip. He moved onto John, shaking hands with him only to be pulled in for a hug. The shock was clear on Dean’s face as he took in the sight. Still though, his mom hadn’t moved or said anything, just kept staring at Castiel like he was going to disappear before her very eyes.

 

Dean was just about to drag them all inside when his mother vaulted into Cas. Squeezing so tightly, that his mate might have been struggling to breathe if he wasn’t pressing just as hard into her arms. Not liking the unease of the situation or the feeling of being left out, he spoke up. “You two need a minute alone?”

* * *

 

 

Hugging Mary Winchester might as well have been a religious experience. She held him in the same way Dean did, surrounding them both with all love and warmth she could manage. After an impossibly long time had passed he began to hear her whisper in his ear. “You’re such a beautiful, Angel,”

 

“Angel,” she said, over and over again like a mantra against his cheek.

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE END IS NIGH PEOPLE!!! Only one more chapter to go! Again, thanks to the beautiful and talented @ANobleCompanion for all her hard work and helping me fix the VERYYYYYY big issues I had in this chapter and now it's something we're both kinda proud of. I hope at least. 
> 
> Also this chapter is dedicated to Dani aka @TheSadisticMunchkin!! I love you girl, you're amazing and I think you'll like a surprise I wrote in just for you!

Castiel was in no hurry to leave Mary’s arms, but eventually Dean pulled him away when John had cleared his throat, pointedly. His boyfriend tried to ask him what was going on, but as soon as they stepped in the store they were separated. It was outlawed for your mate to see the ribbon you chose before the ceremony, similar to a bride’s dress pre-wedding. The one difference being ribbon sharing was actually illegal and not just ill-advised.

 

It was rumored that in the 19th century, when Napoleon Bonaparte bound his soul with Josephine de Beauharnais, he had flaunted their ribbons in an attempt to solidify his growing power as general. Not only did the man and his wife suffer through a cursed, unhappy marriage, but as the legend was passed on, they’d implied the couple’s problems and misfortunes were caused by the public sharing of their ribbons. After Napoleon’s exile to Elba, the leaders of Europe were quick to ban the display of soul bonding ribbons before the ceremony. It wasn’t long before America did the same. Thanks to this long held taboo, Castiel had to choose the strand that would bind them together without Dean’s support. .

 

He was guided over to another section of the shop where his mother waited for him. Castiel roped her into a tight hug, still feeling the overwhelming emotions surging through both his and Dean’s side of their bond. The ribbon attendant shuffled anxiously beside him until he backed away. When he turned toward her he was pleased to see a dazzling smile and what was sure to be an upbeat attitude.

 

“Right this way, sir. I’m sure we’ll have the perfect ribbon for you and your mate. Just be sure to let me know when you feel a connection to any strand, and we’ll cut it for you,” she said politely, brushing her dark hair over her shoulder.

 

He nodded, carefully taking in each spool, not willing to pass up anything that could potentially be the one. Unsurprisingly the shelves were filled with countless colors, patterns, and styles. How was he supposed to choose just one? Castiel found all of them beautiful, even inspiring, but there wasn’t any inherent feeling toward any particular kind he was passing.

 

Castiel was anxious and mildly frustrated when they reached the end of his side and he came out empty handed. The ribbon attendant with Dani stamped across her chest offered him a small smile, but even he could see that she was shocked.

 

“Come, lets go through again, these things can’t be rushed,” she offered, her tan skin shimmering under the iridescent glow of the store lighting.

 

His mother kept whispering encouragement as she rubbed a hand across his lower back, but even she began to feel worried the closer they got to the end of the line and he still hadn’t made a choice. Logically, he knew that all Ribbon stores housed the same rolls, but the thought that he might have found something back in Palo Alto briefly crossed his mind.

 

By the time they finished their third walkthrough Castiel had just stopped trying. He knew he wouldn’t find anything. He’d already tried multiple times slowly, thoughtfully, assessing each and every damn row and he’d felt nothing. He held his head high as Rachel escorted him outside, insisting he needed some fresh air.

 

When he stepped through the door, he nearly ran straight into Dean. His whole body just collapsed in the arms of his boyfriend as he began to sob. Not having any idea whatsoever about what was happening the beautiful man still wrapped him up tightly and just pressed soothing kisses to his forehead.

* * *

 

 

Dean found his ribbon toward the end of the last row and he’d known immediately which one he wanted. The dude who’d been tagging along, remained cool and withdrawn the whole time. At least until he pointed toward the spool of dark blue. Then, the guy narrowed his eyes at him as if he was some kind of judge and had the audacity to say, “Are you sure?”

 

Dean scoffed. What the hell was this guy’s problem? “Yeah, man. I’m pretty damn sure,” he said, reaching closer to the strand, pulling it for emphasis. The guy nodded, not even bothering to apologize for his previous attitude. This whole thing was a farce and Dean was seven kinds of done with it by the time he stepped outside.

 

Mary and John both tried to calm him down but he was seething mad about the whole damn situation. His frustration was only enhanced when he'd felt serious amounts of anxiety, sadness, and every other bad thing he could put a name to, flooding their bond. He knew that Cas must have been having trouble and so he tried to send reassurance through their connection, but it was an exercise in futility with all the other emotions drowning him.

 

When his boyfriend tumbled through the door Dean turned immediately to catch him. His knees nearly buckled under the weight of Castiel’s insecurities. He didn’t know how the man managed to hold so much inside himself for so long. He focused everything he had toward making Cas feel better.

 

Dean staggered back a little, leading them over to the Impala where he had a more steady support and could hold Cas even tighter.

 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Just think of it this way, we never have to go back in that damn place.” Something about what he’d said had obviously not been right. The next thing he knew he felt the heave in his boyfriend’s shoulders deepen and heard his sobs coming faster.

 

“I-I have to,” he said, his voice muffled against the cotton of Dean’s tee shirt. “I n-need a ribbon. I can’t... we can’t… if I don’t,” he choked out, his breath shaky under the weight of his tears.

 

Immediately, it hit him like a ton of bricks. Cas didn’t find anything.

 

“Now, you listen here. We are getting soul married tomorrow come hell or high water, Castiel James. I don’t care if I gotta tie my ribbon around your damn neck, you hear me?” He paused, just for a moment. “You’re stuck with me, sweetheart,” he whispered against his mate’s ear.

 

Dean tightened his grip, before letting it go completely slack and dipping his head down to lay a small kiss against Cas’ mouth. He felt his boyfriend’s arms wrap around his neck and pull him in tighter, seemingly unaware or uncaring of the audience they had. He heard himself gasp against Cas’ lips only giving his mate the opportunity to deepen their playful teasing of teeth and tongue.

 

Dean decided with little deliberation that if this was what Cas needed to feel better about the whole damn thing; well, who was he to refuse? He smiled into the kiss, figuring anyone who was watching at that point had their own issues. He held on tight for what felt like forever as time seemed to stand still around them.

 

He licked, sucked, and nibbled against the chapped pink lips as shocks of electric want spread through them both. Dean could feel their bodies sparking together, he pulled back not wanting to start a raging inferno in public. He muttered a small, “Shhh,” against his mate’s lips hoping to calm Cas and himself down just a little.

 

“I’m not letting you go. We can talk about our options or whatever that’s fine, but, Cas, whatever you’re thinking; it’s just not gonna happen, man. I know you’re worried, sweetheart.” Dean hesitated, not sure if his words were really helping all that much. “Just, if nothing else… trust in whatever put us together and made the match. It’s not an oversight, a glitch, or a mistake.”

 

Dean quickly left another kiss on Cas’ forehead and wiped at the side of his eye, clearing away the wet trail. “Not to steal Jewel’s line but, you were meant for me and I was meant for you.”

 

With that, Castiel let a loud chuckle fall out and Dean couldn’t help the pride that coursed through him.

 

“You are so cheesy, Dean Winchester.”

 

“Maybe, but I made you laugh and that’s a win in my book.” Dean smiled brightly as he felt Cas’ head shake back and forth against his chest.

 

“Let’s leave. I don’t wanna go back in there right now. I’ll have my mother bring me back in the morning,” Castiel said pulling Dean back toward the sidewalk where their families were chatting, acting completely oblivious to what had gone on between them. He knew they were worrying. It was their go-to response to anything, but they didn’t make them feel as if it was a strain to wait and for that Dean could kiss each and every one of them.

 

* * *

 

 

The inadequacy and unease that settled in Castiel when he’d left the store empty handed didn’t go away, but he could push it to the back of his mind and focus on other things. Dean was good at taking care of him. Once again he’d cried against the shoulder of his soul mate and he'd been met with unbelievable comfort and reassurance.

 

Castiel was grateful that when they all divvied up into vehicles, he could steal shotgun in the Impala. It was one of the few places he truly felt at home. He loved their apartment back in Palo Alto, but it didn’t even remotely seem permanent. He knew eventually that they’d share a room, a bed, a home, but for now the compilation of black steel and leather seats was just right.

 

They met up with everyone at the hotel later that night. Thankfully, someone had thought ahead and rented out the conference room, because their party of nearly twenty wasn’t going to fit into any one of the previously booked rooms.

 

They ordered pizza and spent hours getting to know each other. Castiel noticed that Mary would sometimes just glance over at him and smile, as if she knew something he didn’t. It was both very confusing and a little flattering.

 

When Dean made a move toward Bobby in hopes of getting him to stop telling a story from his teen years, Castiel used the moment to corner Rachel.

 

“Mother, I have a question,” he said, worrying his lip a little as his nerves began to take hold.

 

Concern flashed through her features and he instantly regretted the decision. It was probably nothing, but he’d made a promise to himself. He would not endanger his bond with Dean again, just because he was uninformed. Castiel swallowed hard, pushing down the growing lump in his throat.

 

“Mom,” he said, his voice sounded almost wrecked around the unfamiliar word. “There have been a couple… incidents, that I’m hoping you can either tell me what they mean or just classify me mentally unstable. Either way, really.”

 

Rachel’s face dropped. She pursed her lips, clearly not pleased with his attempt at humor. “Castiel, I can’t help if you don't explain the problem.”

 

“How do you know it’s a problem?” he asked, a knee-jerk attempt to shift the conversation.

 

“A mother knows, Castiel. Now, please… I’m really starting to worry,” she answered, pulling him in closer.

 

He supposed anyone would have noticed his anxiousness if they were looking at his face. “At first it was just a small tingle, like when your arm falls asleep only it shot back and forth across my shoulders, I thought it was nothing,” he hesitated, not really wanting to continue but realizing he had to anyway.

 

“The next time though, it was much stronger, heightened in every way and when I reached around to my back I felt like there was something there, but just as quickly as it came...it was gone.”

 

Rachel stared back at him, confusion written on her face for a brief moment.

 

“I’m crazy and it’s nothing right?” Castiel began chewing harder against his lip, it wasn’t until he tasted a metallic sting that he’d realized it split open under the pressure.

 

“Castiel, have you told Dean?” Rachel asked, it was a fair question but not really what he wanted to hear. It was obvious his mother would be disappointed he hadn’t.

 

“I didn’t want to worry him,” he started, he was going to explain it away but the look on Rachel’s face was enough to make him stop. She practically dragged him over to where Dean was standing, uncertainty and concern pouring off him in waves.

* * *

 

 

“Cas?” Dean choked out, his voice shaky as he was flooded with anger followed by an impressive amount of nervousness.

 

Castiel huffed out in protest, but it was immediately followed by a defeated sigh. “I didn’t want to worry you but mother insisted I say something,” he paused, making Dean want to reach out and pull him close again. The frustration radiating off his mate was the only thing that stopped him.

 

“What’s up, sweetheart? Whatever it is, we’ll get through it,” he offered, willing to try anything to ease Cas’ mind.

 

Suddenly there was a red flash of anger pushing through their connection, the heat overwhelming, feeling as if his entire body was burning from the inside out.

 

“I don’t want to get through it! I want for things to go as planned for once in my goddamn life.”

 

Dean reached behind him to grab at a chair before he fell to the floor. The words hit him hard in the chest, even though he knew Cas didn’t mean it the way it sounded, it nearly broke him to hear the phrase. I don’t want to get through it, he could barely breathe with the weight pushing against his heart.

* * *

 

 

Castiel instantly regretted the words when he saw Dean clutch at his chest and watched the color drain from his cheeks. He wanted to reach out, to apologize, to tell him of course nothing in the world was more important than their bond, but he couldn’t.  

 

He felt like he was suffocating. Gasping for air, he fell back. He must have hit the floor because there was sharp pain shooting through his head before everything went black.

 

* * *

 

_**The next thing he saw was unrealistically green grass beneath him and blue flowers swaying in the distance. He smelled something that reminded him of purified oxygen and tasted it less than a second later.** _

__

_**“Hello, Castiel.”** _

__

_**Immediately he jerked up, wanting to be vertical but finding it hard to focus.** _

__

_**“Wh-who are you?” he asked. It was meant to be a demand, but the fear and confusion made that nearly impossible. The man before him was gorgeous, unlike anything he’d ever seen outside of Dean’s handsome features. It wasn’t until his vision cleared that Castiel realized the man before him was completely nude.** _

__

_**“I don’t mean to frighten you, my boy.” he said, the soothing tone worked to calm his fears without any instruction of his own involved, which was just as well, he assumed. It wasn’t as if his mind was fully functional anyway.** _

__

_**Castiel swallowed, averting his eyes as quickly as possible. Sure the man was attractive, but nothing would draw him away from Dean. The stranger just let out a small chuckle and took a seat beside him.** _

__

_**“I admire your loyalty, Castiel. You and Dean have something very unique, I know this. However, it is still a very rare practice that someone can be in my presence and not even contemplate swaying.”** _

__

_**At this, Castiel felt heat flush his cheeks and then he lifted his brow in wonderment.** _

__

_**“I will save you the trouble of listing all the ‘great-great’s’ to explain my relation to you, and just say that I’m your ancestor, Castiel. I am Eros the God of desire and love.” The man, no the God, leaned against him gently in a playful manner. “Please be kind to my ego and at least pretend you’ve heard of me?”** _

__

_**“Of course,” he answered, stuttering a little. Castiel knew his eyes must be the largest they’d ever been. He could feel his lids pushing up at his forehead. He must have been dreaming, there was no possible explanation otherwise.** _

__

_**“Well you are, dreaming.. in a sense at least.”** _

__

_**Had he said that aloud? Castiel didn’t think so. Eros’ seemingly chipper attitude only confused him further. He wanted nothing more than to get back to Dean.** _

__

_**“No, Castiel. You did not speak the words verbally but I can hear your thoughts because you are thinking them very, very loudly,” he answered with a wide smirk. The familiar expression reminded Castiel of his mate and he nearly began sobbing.** _

__

_**“I’ve been waiting a long time for you. my child.” He said, letting out another small laugh.** _

__

_**“W-why?”he asked, figuring that if he continued through whatever this dream was, it would eventually end.** _

__

_**“You are here because we needed to talk, Castiel. I apologize for the mild concussion you’ll feel later but it really was necessary. Humans aren’t normally allowed in the homes of the Gods. Of course, it isn’t common practice for them to be summoned there either, I imagine.”** _

__

_**Castiel gasped and looked around him, no wonder everything seemed so different. The concept was unimaginable, but at the same time made sense. He took a glance around, reverently trying to capture the images in his mind. Maybe once he woke up he could paint them, or perhaps he’d need a computer design instead. He wasn’t sure the colors surrounding him could be found or mixed with his current pallet.** _

__

_**“Don’t worry, child. I think you’ll find yourself here more often than you imagine.” Eros tugged him in for a side hug and Castiel tried not to think about the fact that he felt skin against his own, meaning he too was unclothed.** _

__

_**“What did you need to speak with me about? Your… Godliness?” He questioned, unsure of how to address a God, it wasn’t common practice like it would be for a royal family.** _

__

_**Instead of scolding him, the man just laughed, his hand slapping gently against the back of Castiel’s shoulder. “No need in formality, Castiel. After all, we are family. You can call me Eros if you like, or perhaps one of your earthly words for father. It’s not exactly accurate but I don’t think anyone will throw us to the wolves for taking liberties, do you?”** _

__

_**Castiel stared at the man in confusion, he really had no idea what Grecian Gods would find punishable. He didn’t respond to the question, feeling as if it were completely unnecessary. Eros knew his ignorance of their traditions and he didn’t want to waste time. Dean was still waiting for him, probably worried sick.** _

__

_**“Why have you brought me here?”** _

__

_**“Because you are special, Castiel. Only one of your kind in the entire time that humans have roamed that dirty little planet. You are meant for a greater purpose than humanity, my son. You and your mate will do unimaginable things, and I’m going to be there to help as often as I can.”** _

__

_**Castiel swallowed, there had to be a mistake. “I’m not… I mean… ”** _

__

_**The man gave him a look that reminded him far too much of his mother. It sent chills down his spine and when he turned his head further to the side he nearly fell over. Large black feathers were fluttering behind him, arched outward and when his eyes traced back he noticed they pulled to a stop at his shoulder blade. “Wh-Why…”** _

__

_**“I told you that you were different, Castiel. You are unique in a way that no other human has been, and it is unlikely that another will ever be.” Castiel still seemed skeptical despite the fact that large black wings were literally coming out of his back.** _

__

_**“Fine,” Eros answered, sounding fondly exasperated. “If it makes it any more believable; it could have easily been any one of your siblings. But you must realize Castiel, it’s very obviously not any of them. It’s you.”** _

__

_**Castiel took a deep breath and nodded, not really wanting to delve into it but he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave until they’d finished so he pushed forward. “Okay, it’s me… Now may I ask what I need to do to get back to my mate?”** _

__

_**“I need you to be patient, my son. I assure you, Dean is fine.” Eros replied, intertwining their fingers and lifting them both off the ground.** _

__

_**Immediately, Castiel grabbed at the other hand. His human mind telling him that he’d fall to his death if he didn’t but from the look of complete relaxation on etched into the features of Eros’ face, he wasn’t concerned.** _

__

_**“I know this is both cliche and a little soon, but Castiel… Do you trust me?”** _

__

_**Unable to keep the skeptical look from his face, it seemed he caused the God to laugh again.** _

__

_**“I- I don’t know.”** _

__

_**“Let go.”** _

__

_**His eyes went wide and he was sure if he’d had a pulse that he could feel, it would be skyrocketing at the thoughts of losing his safety net.** _

__

_**Castiel contemplated making a choice and eventually decided to face his fears. Rationalizing that if it was a dream, what’s the worst that could happen? He’d wake up? Which was precisely what he’d been waiting to do since they started.** _

__

_**With one deep inhale, Castiel loosened his grip. Instead of plummeting to his dream death, he stayed airborne. He looked over his shoulder to see the large black appendages flapping inherently. “How?”** _

__

_**Eros just smiled back at him, the white of his teeth more ethereal than he’d even imagined, as if they were somehow brighter now than they’d been just a moment ago. Actually, looking at the form of the man who was floating  beside him, he could say the same about the rest of him as well. Eros was practically glowing.** _

__

_**“It’s innate. Well, once you needed it to be,” he said with a fond chuckle. “However there are some things you need to learn. I’ll show you how to hide them, for when you return to earth. Also, how to come back here, of course.”** _

__

_**Castiel tried to rush through the lessons but not only did it backfire, but once he relaxed he found himself enjoying it quite a bit. They zipped around the fields and he couldn’t deny the view was amazing. It all felt remarkably unreal, but at the same time, the ideas, the experiences, were clinging to him like reality would bow to them and respect its place inside the most human part of himself.** _

__

_**They flew like that for what seemed like days. He was both surprised and proud that his speed and control were enhanced tenfold compared to his first start. He turned and truly expected Dean to be there, ready to tell him all about his progress and that’s when he felt the pang of loneliness seep into him. Instantly, he fluttered toward the ground.** _

__

_**“Can I leave now?” he asked carefully, not wanting to upset Eros.** _

__

_**“Yes, Castiel. Whenever you like, but please do come back soon. I have much more to teach you.” he answered, a sad grin on his face.** _

__

_**“I would like that very much.” Castiel pulled the naked man into a quick hug and stepped back. “Before I go, If I find this to be real and not just a dream. How should I explain this? My wings I mean, and the uh… other stuff?”** _

__

_**The unusually small smile on his face immediately widened. “I think what you really meant to ask, was how are you supposed to explain it to, Dean. Am I correct?” he teased, a light chuckle slipping past his mouth once more.** _

__

_**Castiel wrang his hands together nervously and nodded.** _

__

_**“Just tell him you’re an Angel, Castiel. I’m quite sure he's guessed anyway. Neither the Winchesters nor the Campbells were known for a lack of intelligence, and the company they keep is wise beyond even them. Which is a feat in itself for a human.”** _

__

_**“But is that possible… I mean, am I an Angel?” Castiel stared at him, he knew his eyes were wide.** _

__

_**“Well, not exactly. Had you mated with anyone other than Dean or Sam Winchester you’d have been considered a Demigod here at home. However, your chosen comes with his own, let’s call it a niche’. Perhaps I can go more in-depth on it for you both when you bring him back for a visit?” Eros answered, raising a brow in curiosity.** _

__

_**“I won’t have to knock him unconscious will I? If so it might need to wait till the honeymoon phase is over,” Castiel laughed at himself for the first time he could remember without Dean’s own sounds of happiness and joy spurring him on.** _

__

_**“You laugh now, but I’m sure there will be moments when you at least consider it,” he chuckled back.** _

__

_**The God's face fell just a fraction before he continued. “This is important though, Castiel. So listen closely. The invitation goes for Sam as well, but ONLY the Winchester boys are able to travel with you.”** _

__

_**Castiel nodded, his face serious. He didn’t understand the reasoning but he really didn’t want to waste his time questioning it. It wasn’t as if he had a long list of people he’d been considering as possible flight candidates.** _

__

_**“I understand,” he answered, taking his place back on the field where he’d woken up. Before he left, there was a loud laugh and Eros’ rough, but fond voice.** _

__

_**“Oh, and tell them no sharp objects allowed, okay?”** _

__

_**Castiel could feel the smile pushing against his cheeks. He felt like he was flying again, but this time he knew he was going back to his mate. That made all the difference in the world.** _

* * *

 

When he came to, his body nearly jumped forward as he remembered what Eros had taught him about putting away his wings.

 

“DEAN!” he shouted, his voice raw and ragged as he called out for his soulmate.

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT! THE FINAL CHAPTER! I'm so excited for you guys to read the ending! <3 Hope you enjoy... once again I could not have done it without the wonderfully amazing ANobleCompanion!!

They’d called an ambulance immediately, rushing him to the emergency room. The EMT’s said that everything seemed fine, but he’d just fucking fallen down and now he’s unconscious. Obviously, they needed to up their training programs in Portland if they actually thought people slipped into comas all willy-nilly.

 

Dean scrubbed his hands down his face, _he was in hell_.

 

The next seven hours were torture. Nearly everyone had cleared the area, not wanting to be anywhere near the festering blister that was Dean Winchester. His emotions were all over the place, one minute he’d be furious, the next he’d break down and, well his allergies were in overdrive okay?

 

The only person left was Sammy, sitting in the corner. Dean knew he was probably researching something in hopes of figuring out what was going on with Cas. His brother; the giant nerd, doing anything and everything he could to make Dean happy again. He’d verbally decapitated him ten times over, but Sam refused to leave.

 

“I care about him too, Dean. I know he’s not my soulmate, but next to you, he’s my best friend. I will not leave this room,” he'd said, and that had been that.

 

There wasn’t anything left for Dean to do but try to focus on Cas. He watched the in and outs of his breathing and prayed to anyone that would listen to bring his boyfriend back to him. He was just about to send Sam on a coffee run when someone opened the door.

 

Immediately, Dean glared in their direction assuming it was one of the nearly twenty people from the waiting room. Instead it was a stranger, dressed in scrubs with a labcoat nestled on their shoulders. He had short, dark blonde hair and a wide grin. A silver necklace glinted in the light and Dean’s eyes were drawn to a small arrow laid out against the guy’s chest. Dude seriously needed a different job if he couldn’t stop smiling when there was someone who was fucking unconscious laying right beside him.

 

“Can I help you?” Dean asked sarcastically, he’d been casually polite to the staff but there was something about seeing the guy smile that made his skin crawl. He looked evil, smelled like ozone and radiated power..

 

“Oh, sorry. How rude of me, I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m Dr. Bo Archer, and I specialize in bond illnesses.”

 

Dean looked him over skeptically, there was something off about the guy. Not to mention his name was Bo Archer. The dude might as well have screamed “I have an alias.” He was just about to start his interrogation, when he noticed that Sam was already clambering onto his feet shaking the asshole’s hand. _Damn traitor_.

 

“What do you want?” Dean barked, not wanting  to extend the visit any longer than necessary.

 

“Well aren’t you... fiery, he said, flipping open the chart from beside the bed. “I’ll skip the pleasantries then, shall I?” He instantly dropped the smile and finally had a normal damn expression on, considering the circumstances.

 

Dean watched his features closely as he read over the forms. It was a barely there movement but he’d caught the glimpse of surprise, confusion, and then resignation before the man looked up.

 

“This says, the patient’s name is Castiel Winchester?’ he asked, no sign of a teasing voice but Dean felt his entire body flush.

 

‘No, no it’s James. Castiel James. I was just... our bond ceremony was scheduled for tomorrow and I wasn’t thinking,” he said, scratching the back of his head. Dean prepared himself for the smirk his brother would give him, but when his gaze darted over to Sam; there was pain etched into his eyes and on his face. Honestly, Dean would have prefered the smirk.

 

“I see. It also says that you were part of an instant bond, is that correct?” he asked. Dean nodded in reply, opting to keep his mouth shut while the doctor was standing so close to his soulmate.

 

“Well, before I give you any kind of hope, I want to make sure you realize something. Your bond is very sick. It’s one of the reasons he’s lying unconscious in that bed right now,” he said, his voice was hard and stern.

 

If Dean closed his eyes he would have sworn John Winchester was in the room, albeit with a much lower pitched voice, but the severity was the same.

 

“We tri-” Dean’s own voice gave out as despair climbed into his heart.

 

“I know, I've been informed that you were doing the best you could with the information available to you, but I’m afraid it wasn’t enough,“ he paused sliding a hand through his hair with a twinge of frustration.

 

“When a bond is damaged like this, its capacity to accommodate your emotions; good and bad, is also weakened. If too much is pushed through, there can be consequences. Usually, for the person bearing the smaller half of the soul.”

 

“So, what can we do now?” Sam asked, Dean wasn’t really in any shape to form questions, so he guessed that was fair. The Winchester brothers were so close that they were practically clairvoyant to each other’s thoughts. He was grateful, knowing if nothing else, at least Sammy would get all the answers he wanted.

 

“Well no guarantees, but I think he’ll make a full recovery. I’ve administered a treatment that should temporarily heal the damage and as long as they aren’t going to do something foolish and separate themselves, it should be fine,” he said, causing visible relief of both Dean and Sam. He felt his own heart slow down and watched the stiff rigidness of Sam’s shoulders begin to slump.

 

“You are getting bound together tomorrow, right?” the doctor asked, after turning his gaze over to Dean.

 

“As soon as he wakes up,” Dean answered, half wanting to pick Cas up bridal style and carry him to an overnight place. _Screw consciousness, screw it sideways. Nothing was gonna stop him from marrying Cas._

Dr Archer nodded in agreement and turned toward the door. Just before he slipped out, he pivoted back in Dean’s direction, catching his eye.

 

“Out of curiosity, given the choice, would you switch places with him?” the doctor asked, causing Sam’s head to jerk back and a bitchface to pull at his mouth.

 

Dean thought about it, imagined what it would be like if the roles were reversed. He hoped things were peaceful for Cas, hoped that he wasn’t struggling in any way. It probably wasn’t that bad being him at the moment, Dean’s the one freaking out, his soulmate is practically asleep.

 

‘He’s not feeling any kind of pain or distress in any way, right?” he asked, because… well, because he had to know. Dean could feel his hands shaking, unsure and uncertain without Cas’s comforting grip on his hand.

 

The physician’s mouth instantly turned down but he still answered. “No, he’s just sleeping,” he said, inching further into the room.

 

“Then, the answer is no. I wouldn’t. I would never want him to have to be the one sitting in here staring at me feeling like his whole world is about to fall apart. Not when the other option is a takin’ a friggin’ nap,” he said, not realizing that he was moving closer and closer toward the man. “Don’t get me wrong, man. It sucks balls on this side, but if it had to happen and there was no changing it, well, I’m glad it went down like it did.

 

When he was just a foot away from the doctor he saw his lips split into a wide grin. “Good answer, Dean.” he said, before backing away and strolling out the door.

 

It didn’t occur to him that he hadn’t given his name until nearly a full minute later. _Huh, that’s weird._ He remembered the guy said he’d already talked to his family or whatever, one of them probably said something. Otherwise it was just too friggin creepy and Dean didn’t have it in him to deal with any more shit hitting the fan.

 

Less than five minutes after the good doctor left the room, Castiel jackknifed in the bed and called out for him. “DEAN!”

 

“Cas? Sweetheart?” he choked out, barely able to believe that his mate was actually awake. Dean leapt toward the bed moving as close as he could possibly get without crawling under the covers with Cas.

 

When he started muttering his apologies over and over again, Dean’s heart was simultaneously flipping at the sound of his voice, and the memory of when their bond was formed, while shattering into a million pieces because Castiel still felt like he needed to apologize in the first place.

 

Feeling a waterfall of emotions pouring into him Dean did the same thing as before. He ducked his head in and kissed the perfect, chapped lips of his mate. Again, a thousand shocks of electric fire sparked beneath his skin making him feel as if it was their first. The biggest difference being that Castiel was kissing him back. His mouth pliant and willing under the force of Dean’s passionate gratitude.

 

The longer they held the kiss, the hotter it burned. There was an underlying desire for more pushing at the seams of their connection. The original curiosity and nervousness when they’d first met was replaced by an unbelievable amount of love and warmth flooding in their bond.

 

Castiel pulled away, Dean was gasping for breath but he would have drowned in his mate’s kiss if he’d been allowed. When oxygen finally made it back into his brain, he turned to see that the chair where Sam had been sitting was empty. He’d probably gone to tell everyone Cas was awake. They’d all pile in soon enough.

 

“Dean, I, I don’t know how to say this but there’s something you should know,” Castiel said, biting his lip causing every hair on Dean’s body to stand at attention.

 

“What is it, Cas?” he asked, not really sure if he wanted to know by the panicked expression bore into the features of his boyfriend’s face. He had a sinking feeling moving into the pit of his stomach and it didn’t seem to be willing to relocate anytime soon.

* * *

 

 

Castiel felt an extreme amount of anxiousness swoop over him, but it didn’t sway his decision. He would not stand for a dishonest start to his journey with his mate. He took a deep breath, and relaxed the best he could before he continued.

 

“Dean, I’m not human or...well,  not fully.” he paused, letting out a loud sigh.

 

“I’m an Angel.” he said. Truthful and to the point; he was minutely pleased with himself as he awaited his response.

 

“I know you are, sweetheart.”

 

Castiel’s head tipped sideways and he stared into Dean’s eyes waiting for some kind of sign, he wasn’t sure what but he expected a larger reaction, at least a little surprise. Maybe he didn’t understand him properly.

 

“No, Dean. I meant to say that I am now an Angel, with wings...  An actual Angel, not just an endearment suggestion and not just because I’m coincidentally named after one.”

 

“Yeah, Cas, I know. Wings, mojo, halo, and all that jazz. Mom always told me that Angels were watching over me. I guess now it’ll be a little more hands-on, huh?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows playfully. “Was that what you wanted to tell me?”

 

Castiel blinked owlishly at his boyfriend. Maybe he was still dreaming, maybe Eros decided instead of sending him straight back to Dean, he’d setup an elaborate ploy first. Castiel pinched into his the flesh of his own arm, _ouch_. So, not asleep then.

 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I promise I’ve had this theory that there was something different about you since the moment we met. It didn’t hurt that when I called you Angel the first time, something inside me started doing somersaults and it just… felt right,” Dean answered, grinning in his direction. He shrugged his shoulders and his mouth pulled up into a smirk. “It also helped that Rachel and Mom were talking about heritages and blah blah blah, but I happened to catch the gist of it once they’d figured everything out.”

 

He sat up in his bed to once again try to explain to Dean what he’d been talking about when a long black feather fell off of his pillow. Floating gently onto the floor beside the dark brown heel of Dean’s boot.  

 

Immediately, his boyfriend reached over to pick it up. Gently gripping the hard stem and lifting it off the ground. Castiel could see the care with which Dean was handling it and it made him smile. Was it really so far fetched that his mate had figured it out? Eros had even mentioned that he believed an explanation wasn’t necessary for that precise reason.

 

“It’s mine, probably a parting gift.”

 

“It felt like yours. Could we, I mean, do you think it would be okay if we used it… for the ceremony?” Dean asked, a pink tinge warming his cheeks.

 

“Yes, I think that would be lovely, Dean.”

 

“You, you still wanna get mar- I mean soul married right?”

 

Castiel couldn’t help himself from shaking his head fondly at his boyfriend. It was a surprising amount of doubt housed within one man.Of course he knew better than to bring it up given his own issues.

 

“I would marry you an infinite number of times on an infinite number of days if I could.”

 

With that said, Dean’s face cracked open in a wide grin, making Castiel’s heart pump a little faster. “I love you, sweetheart.”

 

“I love you too, Dean.”

 

They kind of got lost in the moment, staring at one another until they were jerked harshly back to reality by a loud knock against the door.

 

Castiel looked around the room, silently cursing himself having just noticed he was in a hospital. What Dean must have gone through while he was unconcious. It probably felt like a nightmare. Immediately, he felt guilty, but it wasn’t as if he’d chosen to take the coma journey himself. That was all on Eros, and if his instincts were to be trusted, someone else might have had a hand in it as well.

 

Before he knew it everyone was piling into his small room. First it was his parents, and then Charlie managed to squeeze in alongside John and Mary, leaving the rest of them to push in afterward. When Nathaniel pulled him into a hug, Castiel realized that his father looked much more healthy. Suspiciously so, in fact.

 

“Why aren’t you sick anymore?” he asked, everyone seemed to stare at him like it was the least important thing in the world, but Castiel wouldn’t be deterred.

 

Eventually, his father realized he wasn’t going to let it go and answered him. “The doctor that was watching over you gave me something, said it would help… it did,” Nathaniel huffed out, clearly not wanting to be the center of attention.

 

“What did he give you? How are you back at full health when just a few days ago the same doctors here told you that it would take weeks and maybe even minor physical therapy for you to recover?” he asked, the whole room went quiet as everyone seemed to think about it too.

 

“It was medicine from a doctor, Castiel, not the Spanish Inquisition. I didn’t ask.”

 

“Oh,” he paused. “Well it’s good to know you’re feeling better,” he replied, resisting the urge to continue his line of questioning. There was a look of tiredness in his father’s eyes, probably from worrying over him, and he didn’t want to make it worse.

 

The room erupted in happy smiles and relief as they took turns doting on him and jokingly asking that he never do anything like that again. It was warm and comforting to know that the entire room of people genuinely cared about him when he’d always felt as if no one could. Dean changed that, Dean changed everything.

* * *

 

 

 

The morning of the ceremony they all went out for breakfast, despite Dean’s insistence that he enjoyed cooking for large crowds. He blushed when Rachel replied that the food would probably be more enjoyable but that she wasn’t sure there was enough room for everyone to be comfortably seated in their backyard.

 

It was almost noon before they made it inside the small diner. The spirits of the room were clearly high, everyone laughing and sharing in familiar tales of their own bonds, relationships, and offering up occasional tidbits about him and Cas.

 

It was nice, but the best part was easily the feel of his mate against his side. Dean felt like he’d searched his whole life for something… an easy sort of comfort. He’d found nothing that made him as happy as the steady weight of Castiel’s body against his, even the slightest brush was enough to have his insides humming in contentment.

 

From there, they went back to The Ribbon Store, this time Cas seemed much more confident as he strolled inside. Dean went with him, not wanting to chance that the douche from the previous night was working the front. Instead, there was a beautiful, caramel skinned girl sitting behind the desk.

 

“Oh, you’re back! Wonderful,” she said, not even a hint at sarcasm in her voice which pleased Dean beyond belief.

 

“Yes, Dani. I was curious. Has anyone ever substituted their ribbon for something else? Something like this?” Cas asked, pulling the feather from his the plastic sleeve they’d stored it in.

 

The girl at the counter gasped, her eyes wide in amazement. “I-I don’t know we’ve never had anyone that didn’t match with a ribbon, but if you feel a connection to it, then I think the binding should still work the same way.”

 

“Thank you, and I am very connected to it. It’s one of my most treasured possessions.”

 

“It’s beautiful,” she paused, her grin widening as she moved around the small barricade between them. The girl pulled Castiel into a hug making him chuckle.

 

“Hey, hey… hands off, he’s mine.” Dean teased her, playfully tugging Cas back to his side. They both just laughed at him.

 

As soon as they left there Dean maneuvered the Impala toward Lakeside Gardens. It was still early, but he had a surprise for his Cas.

 

He'd told Castiel that he just wanted to give the place a once-over before they started getting the whole thing ready. The officiate would be there around four and they’d have an hour or two before that would probably be spent running around like chickens with their heads cut off. So he decided that he wanted them both to just be able to kick back a little and enjoy some of the day before things got hectic.

 

The smile permanently etched onto his mate’s face as they strolled through the open garden was enough to satisfy him for the rest of his life, he thought. They even took part in a tour until they got sidetracked because Castiel was in awe of a bee’s nest swinging from one of the trees. It’s occupants buzzing and wisping around their home. By the time Cas had finished spouting off at least twenty unknown facts about bees, they’d lost sight of the group.

 

Dean shrugged, saying he didn’t mind that they followed their own path.

 

Just when they were rounding the bend he smiled. He really needed to do something good for his kid brother. Stretched out on the ground were flowers and fresh honey. His guitar from home was leaned up against the tree. On a small wooden table Sam had put out a nice picnic basket and some chilled wine. Dean even saw Jo’s big camera sitting on the side.

 

Sure, he’d made some plans and asked Sammy to bring some stuff from the apartment, but he’d never imagined anything like this. It was a pretty sweet setup and the surprise and shock on Castiel’s face when Dean pulled him over to it was priceless. He’d almost wished he’d had access to the camera just a few minutes sooner.

 

“C’mon, we’ve got some time to kill,” he said, tugging Castiel to the ground beside him. Reaching out for the familiar wooden neck of his guitar and pulling it close. He strummed it nervously. Dean had never really played for anyone else, but Cas deserved everything he could offer, even if it was just a cheesy cliche’.

 

Just as he suspected, Cas smiled like a damn sap all the way through the song and pride poured through him because of it. _Eat your heart out, Jewell._

 

They sat together enjoying the cool Autumn breeze rush over them as they cuddled up together on the blanket. Dean made sure he had an extra one in the Impala in case it was too cold, but thankfully it was really nice.

 

They snacked on the fresh food he’d packed in the middle of the night after he was sure that Cas was asleep. His soulmate had scared the hell out of him, but the plans were already in place and he wanted to give them both the gift of some damn peace and quiet before everything started.

 

They talked quietly. Whispered their hopes, dreams, wishes into each other’s skin. Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so at ease. Their bond comforted him but it was more than just that. The anticipation of his next surprise was enough to keep him a little on edge, but for the most part everything just felt calm and settled.

 

Dean dug into the bottom of the basket looking for something special and when he felt the familiar shape he pulled it out. His eyes widened and it seemed Castiel wasn’t the only one in for a surprise. He looked it over again, swallowing hard and not even knowing who to thank for the beautiful gift.

 

He’d crafted the shape of a book out of some spare wood before he’d left. The original plan had been to stain, and maybe cover it with something, but he’d not had enough time. And yet, staring at it he couldn’t be more grateful that he hadn’t. Someone had used the same oak colored gloss that he’d used on Castiel’s bookshelf to paint over the smooth texture, but the most surprising part  was that their names were engraved as Author and Illustrator and in beautiful scripted font it said **_“Firecracker.”_**

 

 

The title must have been Sammy’s doin’, and Dean couldn’t have picked a better one himself. He smiled even brighter as he pulled the box behind his back and snagged the dessert tray, passing it onto his mate.

 

“If you keep spoiling me like this, you’ll never get rid of me.”

 

Dean just grinned and bit his lip, “My evil schemes are off to a good start then,” he said, waiting for Castiel to inhale a bite of his favorite cheesecake. As soon as Cas’ mouth was crammed full, he brought the hand around to his side, letting the gift rest comfortably on the blanket beside him.

 

“I’ve got a question for ya, well technically you’ve already answered it, but that was cheating so I call do-over,” he said, and just as he predicted Castiel’s head fell to the side as if he didn’t understand.

 

Dean waited until Cas finished chewing before he handed over the box. He watched the long, deft fingers go over every detail, making him light up with joy.

 

Cas didn’t try to open it immediately, he took his time tracing over the small black letters. Dean smiled as he tried to figure out why Dean’s last name was scrawled across the author title and his was just plainly, Castiel.

 

When he finally lifted the lid, Cas gasped. The small silver band was nestled in tissue paper with a ribbon suspending it in place. Dean just stared in amazement of the handsome features of the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with. When his mate looked up at him, eyes shimmering and on the brink of tears he just smiled.

 

“Marry me,” he said. Dean meant to form it in a question but it hadn’t come out that way. He knew that Cas wouldn’t refuse him, wouldn’t deny him this, he’d already said as much.

"Yes."

 

* * *

 

 

When the  scheduled chaos began Castiel just smiled, remembering the fact that this was to be the day that he’d seal his life with the most wonderful human in existence. It might have been biased of him to think that way, but it wasn’t far from the truth.

 

When he’d first woken up in the hospital, Castiel had seen the part of their soul that Dean had inside him and it was so bright he’d had to shield his eyes from it.

 

It was almost time for them to be bound, and Castiel’s excitement was growing every minute. To know that their connection suffered so much, but that after the ceremony it would never be put through anything like that again was enough to keep his skin humming.

 

Rachel was tearing up, and he’d caught Mary crying into a tissue at a few points throughout the day as well. He had a feeling the men wouldn’t be far behind them once the music began playing and the traditional procedures started.

 

He checked his phone for the hundredth time and smiled, only a few more minutes till he would meet Dean in the middle of the bridge and they’d be tied together for life.

 

The music floated through the air. The sound of a solitary acoustic guitar strumming out a soft melody. He smiled and began his walk, enjoying the bright, wide smile of his mate. They met in the center where the officiant, Sam and Anna were waiting for them.

 

They took their seats, leaning against one another in case, heeding Rachel’s warning about the bond recreating the moment they met.

 

The officiate was a short mostly bald man who spoke multiple verses of Latin as they anxiously awaited their turns, staring into the brilliant turquoise of one another’s eyes.

 

Dean took his turn to say the six verses of latin he’d had to memorize. It might be a mostly dead language but it was still a huge part of binding ceremonies. It sounded foreign on his tongue but it was properly pronounced. Castiel couldn’t help the small tear gathered in the corner of his eye as he watched his mate pledge himself to him.

 

_**Ego alligo me ad vos.** _

_**In hac vita et post eius de manu tua .** _

_**Si oblitus fuero usque ad cutem concursu nostrarum animarum vel tactu .** _

_**Ego nee, omnia quae .** _

_**Meus es in aeternum.** _

_**Meus es semper .** _

 

When he began speaking, Castiel took Dean’s hand in his. He altered the text just a little, but he knew with everything inside of him, that it would still work. Castiel’s mouth moved over the familiar language and he said exactly what was in his heart.

 

_**Ego alligo me ad vos.** _

_**In hac vita et post eius de manu tua .** _

_**Si oblitus fuero usque ad cutem concursu nostrarum animarum vel tactu .** _

_**Ego nee, omnia quae .** _

_**Sum et custodiam te , quocumque sumptus.** _

_**Tu es dilectus meus .** _

_**Meus es in aeternum.** _

_**Meus es semper .** _

_**Meus es tu.** _

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dean’s eyes went wide with the sound of Latin rolling from his boyfriend’s tongue. He recognized a couple phrases that weren’t in the one he learned and he was curious, but he refused to stop the ceremony and ask. The last thing he wanted to do was delay their binding. He trusted Cas, whatever it was.

 

When the official guy took back over, Dean eased up a little. After the part he was anxious about was done with, he could just enjoy the view of his beautiful mate.

 

He drank in the sight of Cas’ dark spiky hair, ruffled to chaotic perfection. The borderline sinful cupid’s bow of his tempting mouth. The stubbled hair trailing down his chiseled jawline. Everything, it was all breathtaking.

 

“Do you have your ribbons?” the man asked, pulling Dean out of his trance.

 

“Y-yeah,” he answered, fumbling in search of the deep blue ribbon in the back pocket of his best slacks. He handed it over to the man, eagerly awaiting the next step as Cas did the same with his feather.

 

There was a brief glint of curiosity that flashed on the man's face but he continued on as if nothing were different and began to wrap the dark strand around the feather. He started at the top and wound it down like garland on a Christmas tree stopping at the bottom to wrap around the stem. He held it there as he performed the final Latin infused composition.

 

Sparks flickered beneath Dean’s skin and if the look on Cas’ face was to be trusted, it was mutual. They surged forward, their bodies slotting perfectly together as he finished the final verses. Dean’s gaze drifted down to his soulmate and he smiled even wider. He brushed a finger against the damp track down his cheek. His mouth moved over the words I love you without letting the sound spill from his throat. Castiel just smiled back and that was all he needed.

 

“You may proceed to the completion of binding.”

 

Dean decided there was no time like the present. So with that thought, he leaned in and claimed his mated’s mouth. Euphoric pleasure spread throughout both of their bodies as the fractals of their soul tied together. They kissed as if they could do it forever and the way he saw it, there were worse ways to spend his life, that’s for sure.

 

Just as Rachel had suspected their bond caused both of them to topple over just a little and close their eyes. Thankfully, Sam and Anna were there to make sure neither of them were hurt. They were still mostly coherent, but it did feel just as intense as it had the first time, maybe even more so.

 

* * *

 

 

Everyone celebrated with a huge meal that Rachel and Mary had set up in a different part of the park. Castiel found himself staring at Dean more often than he paid attention to the conversation. They spent over an hour enjoying the fresh smell of the park and the brisk cold drifting off the water.

 

When the festivities had died down, Dean pulled him to a secluded area. His mind briefly wondered if this would be the moment he found out that his boyfriend was an exhibitionist. Maybe his thought tracks hadn’t been all that innocent, but after what they’d been through Castiel honestly just wanted to enjoy all the more intimate (read fun) aspects of their relationship.

 

Dean lead him to a dock and started peeling his shoes and socks off. Castiel was awestruck. He meant to tell his mated that he was pretty sure it was illegal to swim in the lake, but the idea of Dean undressing was enough to put him in a slight daze.

 

Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, he stopped there and just rolled the legs of his slacks up to his knees.He rushed to sit down on the edge and dipped his bare toes beneath the surface.

 

Castiel followed suit, because it looked tempting once Dean had done it. Besides, if they got caught, it was better they both be punished. The water was cool against his legs and he leaned against Dean’s side hoping to draw some warmth from his mated.

 

“I’ve dreamt of this day for so long it almost seems unreal,” Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

“Was it what you expected?”

 

“Not even a little”

 

“Oh,” Castiel began but was quickly cut off,

 

“What I meant was, well, I could never have imagined someone like you. I had years to dream, to guess at what kind of person might be the perfect soulmate for me. In all that time I’d never put together anything as awesome as this,” Dean said, pulling him in for a quick, but soft kiss.

 

“I could have lived a thousand lifetimes and never encountered a person more beautiful, more understanding, or more giving than you. I should be so lucky that you couldn’t imagine better for yourself.”

 

“I’m not a fan of saying things are impossible, but I’ve never heard anything that described the word better than that,” Dean answered him, rolling his eyes slightly at the assumption that he could do better. It was comforting and flattering at the same time.

 

They sat there, holding one another on the small dock until both of them had wrinkles on their toes and the sun was almost completely gone. Dean was the first one to ease himself up, pulling Cas along behind him.

 

“Come on, we’ve got the rest of our lives waiting on us. I dunno about you, sweetheart, but I’m pretty damn excited about that,” he said, grinning as he pulled his socks on over his wet feet. Castiel felt his heart speed up and he was grateful for it.

 

He slid his hand into Dean’s grip once they’d redressed, smiling at the still small tingles sparking beneath their skin when they touched. Castiel could think of no better way to live and die than holding the hand of his mated. Regardless of the outrageous circumstances that had transpired over the last twenty four hours, Castiel no longer believed that a mistake had been made and Dean should have ended up with someone else. It was profound, unyielding, and kismet.

 

Castiel whispered a prayer to Eros, despite not knowing if or how it worked. He thanked his ancestor for the gift he'd given him. He would do his best to savor and enjoy every minute they shared together, because the moment his color shifted to turquoise was the first time he’d ever felt whole.

 

_**Latin Translations according to Google Translate:** _

 

Dean’s: I will bind myself to you. I will hold you throughout this life and the next. I will never forget the collision of our souls or the touch of your skin. I will cherish everything you are. You are my forever. You are my always.

 

Castiel’s: I will bind myself to you. I will hold you throughout this life and the next. I will never forget the collision of our souls or the touch of your skin. I will cherish everything you are. I will protect you, no matter the cost. You are my beloved. You are my forever. You are my always. You are mine. 

* * *

 

I'm not adding a "The End" here because I'm not sure it is. For now though, I'll bid you farewell on this and hope we see one another again sometime. If you wanna chat with me or fangirl over this or anything else really you can check out my[ Tumblr.](http://swlfangirl.tumblr.com/) I'm pretty easy going so try not to be worried or anything. I promise, I am a treat to get to know! Thank you so much for showing this story all the love and making my heart full with your sweet comments and quick kudos! 

 

If you'd like to see all the photo manips I made for this check [here](http://swlfangirl.tumblr.com/mycreations) There are a couple that aren't featured inside the story, and if you have ideas or wanna see something more lemme know. I'll give it a try! 

 

Till we meet again. 

 

 


End file.
